What. the. fuck.
So did my life hit its pinnacle when I found out I got into vet school or something? Not even kidding, it feels like everything has been a downhill rollercoaster since around the end of the summer. And in the past few weeks, the roller coaster seems to have gone off its track and jumped off a cliff.'
Yep, it's the monthly Jamelyn downer post. Sweet.
When did I stop being good at stuff? Before, I used to be pretty good at acheiving stuff...however, nothing that I've gone out for have I succeeded at since vet school hit. I keep trying to get involved, and either A. I'm not good enough or B. Everybody else is that fucking awesome
And it's dumb, but I ran for fraternity rush chair.... and so there were 6 of us running for 4 positions... and one of the guys didn't show up.... so that was 5 people at the meeting for 4 positions. I was the only goddamn person who didn't get a position. Which is not only embarrassing, and excuse the childish terminology, but it hurt my feelings. I actually, for some reason, thought I would beat out at least one of the 2 girls who were picked over me, seeing as I would hope that I'm a little bit cooler than one of them, seeing as I hear a lot of people talking crap about her. Which is great, because it makes me think that people must have an even lesser opinion of me than they do her. Whatever.
And then I got a call from the car repair, telling me that not only does my water pump need to be replaced (which is why I took it in there this morning), but a shit ton of gaskets/hoses/engine bits are totally fucked as well... and I'm going to be carless for three days. Again.
Awesome. So now, in 2 weeks, I will have pumped three thousand dollars into my POS car. and I need new tires. Faaaaaantastic.
So I had a snotty, crying, I can't handle being an adult/life/whatever breakdown.
And I realized that I have a monster test on Friday, and I don't even know where to start studying. After that, I have a monster test on Tuesday, and another the following thursday.
My personal life is a mess. I'm 15 pounds heavier than I should be, and all of my desire to get back at the gym to work out all this stress/anxiety/whatever you want to call it. Confidence at an all time low because none of my fucking pants fit.
I just don't know how the hell I'm supposed to succeed at vet school.
I am so, so close to going and asking the dean if I can take a year off. We're talking inches here....
but then, what they do, is look at me and say, "Well if you can't handle vet school, you shouldn't be here..."
And I think part of the issue is all of this pressure I put on myself for being the youngest one here...
Funny story, I can't even attend my fucking fraternity formal, because I can't get into the 21+ venue.
Right now, my descriptive adjectives are unhappy, overweight, stressed, and feeling worthless compared to all of my peers.
Awesome. And the whole cat thing, and not super happy with my living situation thing really makes it better.
Why is everyone else always so happy in vet school, and I'm the emotionally challenged 20-year old.
I just want to go back to the time when I could work all the time, avoid social situations, and actually be impressive to the people who were considering my applications/resumes for things
Fucking stream of consciousness downer entries. You would have been better off if you hadn't read this.
Yep, it's the monthly Jamelyn downer post. Sweet.
When did I stop being good at stuff? Before, I used to be pretty good at acheiving stuff...however, nothing that I've gone out for have I succeeded at since vet school hit. I keep trying to get involved, and either A. I'm not good enough or B. Everybody else is that fucking awesome
And it's dumb, but I ran for fraternity rush chair.... and so there were 6 of us running for 4 positions... and one of the guys didn't show up.... so that was 5 people at the meeting for 4 positions. I was the only goddamn person who didn't get a position. Which is not only embarrassing, and excuse the childish terminology, but it hurt my feelings. I actually, for some reason, thought I would beat out at least one of the 2 girls who were picked over me, seeing as I would hope that I'm a little bit cooler than one of them, seeing as I hear a lot of people talking crap about her. Which is great, because it makes me think that people must have an even lesser opinion of me than they do her. Whatever.
And then I got a call from the car repair, telling me that not only does my water pump need to be replaced (which is why I took it in there this morning), but a shit ton of gaskets/hoses/engine bits are totally fucked as well... and I'm going to be carless for three days. Again.
Awesome. So now, in 2 weeks, I will have pumped three thousand dollars into my POS car. and I need new tires. Faaaaaantastic.
So I had a snotty, crying, I can't handle being an adult/life/whatever breakdown.
And I realized that I have a monster test on Friday, and I don't even know where to start studying. After that, I have a monster test on Tuesday, and another the following thursday.
My personal life is a mess. I'm 15 pounds heavier than I should be, and all of my desire to get back at the gym to work out all this stress/anxiety/whatever you want to call it. Confidence at an all time low because none of my fucking pants fit.
I just don't know how the hell I'm supposed to succeed at vet school.
I am so, so close to going and asking the dean if I can take a year off. We're talking inches here....
but then, what they do, is look at me and say, "Well if you can't handle vet school, you shouldn't be here..."
And I think part of the issue is all of this pressure I put on myself for being the youngest one here...
Funny story, I can't even attend my fucking fraternity formal, because I can't get into the 21+ venue.
Right now, my descriptive adjectives are unhappy, overweight, stressed, and feeling worthless compared to all of my peers.
Awesome. And the whole cat thing, and not super happy with my living situation thing really makes it better.
Why is everyone else always so happy in vet school, and I'm the emotionally challenged 20-year old.
I just want to go back to the time when I could work all the time, avoid social situations, and actually be impressive to the people who were considering my applications/resumes for things
Fucking stream of consciousness downer entries. You would have been better off if you hadn't read this.