wooooppeee!!!!!!
guess what, guess what!!!? I am DONE with school till January 9th. exciting, eh? i thought so...
think i did pretty well on my precalc exam. and as far as my english portfolio goes... i am expecting i pretty sweet grade on that one.... maybe if i'm lucky i will get a perfect 50/50. i really hope so. gah, i love writing.
ok, so it's freezing in the computer room, just thought i would randomly inform you.
i have to work tomorrow, friday, and saturday. then saturday afternoon i get to go to indiana for my mom's family's christmas get-together. hopefully that will be fun. i really hope pappaw is doing well that day. it really bites when he has a bad day with the whole family their. one because it sucks to see him like that, and two because i know it hurts him that he can't be up enjoying our company.
if you've never slowly lost someone you love, it's a heartbreaking experience. not just because you lose them, but because you can start to see the regrets build. i want to cry every time i hug him because he holds on so long, and you can tell it just kills him to let go. it's like he's holding on and saying, "sorry i always watched football games and nascar races instead of loving on you and getting to know you better while i still had the chance." (wow, funny how in typing one sentence i can go from totally calm to bursting out crying. just goes to show that half the time i don't realize how i feel or understand my feelings until i write them down.) i know it sounds so typical and cheesy, but wait until you're losing your pappaw and your mom asks you to write a poem to put on a vase for a candle that the family is going to light every year after he dies in rememberance of him. then see if you don't say the same thing. sieze the day---stop being afraid to mess up and learn to love your family before it's too late. in my case, why is it that i never shared my writing talent with him until i started writing about him dying, or that i have played my trumpet for almost 9 years now, but when i had the chance to play for his and mammaw's 50th wedding anniversary, i conveniently didn't get a piece together in time to do it because i was too afraid to play by myself in front of my family, afraid of what they might think. now he will probably never get to hear me play. i don't know what else to say. i'm already bawling my eyes out. i don't think i can explain how i feel anymore.
goodnight everyone.
think i did pretty well on my precalc exam. and as far as my english portfolio goes... i am expecting i pretty sweet grade on that one.... maybe if i'm lucky i will get a perfect 50/50. i really hope so. gah, i love writing.
ok, so it's freezing in the computer room, just thought i would randomly inform you.
i have to work tomorrow, friday, and saturday. then saturday afternoon i get to go to indiana for my mom's family's christmas get-together. hopefully that will be fun. i really hope pappaw is doing well that day. it really bites when he has a bad day with the whole family their. one because it sucks to see him like that, and two because i know it hurts him that he can't be up enjoying our company.
if you've never slowly lost someone you love, it's a heartbreaking experience. not just because you lose them, but because you can start to see the regrets build. i want to cry every time i hug him because he holds on so long, and you can tell it just kills him to let go. it's like he's holding on and saying, "sorry i always watched football games and nascar races instead of loving on you and getting to know you better while i still had the chance." (wow, funny how in typing one sentence i can go from totally calm to bursting out crying. just goes to show that half the time i don't realize how i feel or understand my feelings until i write them down.) i know it sounds so typical and cheesy, but wait until you're losing your pappaw and your mom asks you to write a poem to put on a vase for a candle that the family is going to light every year after he dies in rememberance of him. then see if you don't say the same thing. sieze the day---stop being afraid to mess up and learn to love your family before it's too late. in my case, why is it that i never shared my writing talent with him until i started writing about him dying, or that i have played my trumpet for almost 9 years now, but when i had the chance to play for his and mammaw's 50th wedding anniversary, i conveniently didn't get a piece together in time to do it because i was too afraid to play by myself in front of my family, afraid of what they might think. now he will probably never get to hear me play. i don't know what else to say. i'm already bawling my eyes out. i don't think i can explain how i feel anymore.
goodnight everyone.