(no subject)
darn it was only 30 seconds! crap crap crap crap crap.
I had a hysterical night (not good). I couldn't sleep so I decided to think about things that Zach and I could do before summer is over and Somehow I got into this thought about how I would feel if Zach died or something and then I realized who Zach really reminds me of. Not only my brother, but Jesse from Biltmore. I remember at DNOW when we had the big emotional cryfest and stuff and my friend katie and I were bowed at the front of the stage when the silent part came where we should bow (along with about 50 other people) and we were crying so hard we were sobbing and making funny noises and trying to bury them in the ground because we were thinking about everything we hadn't let ourselves think about. And some people were just sitting in their chairs behind everyone on the ground trying not to cry. Well, me particulary, I was thinking about my parents and how they aren't ever there for me. And how my grandparents are more like my parents than anyone. Katie must have been thinking something sad too because we were both sobbing. The youth leaders encouraged all the people sitting to come and try to comfort the ones sitting on the ground. Most of my friends were all lying on the ground with me and I thought that there was no one there for me and then, I felt a hand on my back. I looked up and I saw Jesse (I think his name was Jesse). He and his friend (I don't remember his name) came up to us from sitting in the chairs and they were bowed right next to us putting their arms around us to comfort us. I looked at him for 3 seconds and burst into another fit of tears. He must have seen the pain in my eyes because he started crying too. I had hardly ever said hi to this guy before and now, he was treating me like his best friend. after all that mess I sat with Jesse and his friend with Katie every chance we got. It was one of the most moving expeirences in my life. Especially when they started sing Voice of Truth on stage. Now every time I hear that sing I almost cry. I had to sing it for my youth group one day a few weeks later and I strating tearing up while I was singing. That was embarasing.
So anyway, since we switched churches, I haven't seen Jesse in a long time, I don't know his last name, I don't know his phone number, I haven't talked to him in forever. I was crying last night because I thought about what would do if Jesse died. Even though I don't ever see him or talk to him, I would kill myself if I found out he died. He was in 8th grade or something when I was in 6th so I guess he in 10th grade now.
So, all of this is not Zach's fault. It's my fault for getting so freaking emotional. Everytime I see Zach, I see Jesse. I don't even know if his name is Jesse! I think it is. I'm so freaked that I'm going to see Zach and start crying. I relly wish I knew where he is and if he is okay...
Miri
I had a hysterical night (not good). I couldn't sleep so I decided to think about things that Zach and I could do before summer is over and Somehow I got into this thought about how I would feel if Zach died or something and then I realized who Zach really reminds me of. Not only my brother, but Jesse from Biltmore. I remember at DNOW when we had the big emotional cryfest and stuff and my friend katie and I were bowed at the front of the stage when the silent part came where we should bow (along with about 50 other people) and we were crying so hard we were sobbing and making funny noises and trying to bury them in the ground because we were thinking about everything we hadn't let ourselves think about. And some people were just sitting in their chairs behind everyone on the ground trying not to cry. Well, me particulary, I was thinking about my parents and how they aren't ever there for me. And how my grandparents are more like my parents than anyone. Katie must have been thinking something sad too because we were both sobbing. The youth leaders encouraged all the people sitting to come and try to comfort the ones sitting on the ground. Most of my friends were all lying on the ground with me and I thought that there was no one there for me and then, I felt a hand on my back. I looked up and I saw Jesse (I think his name was Jesse). He and his friend (I don't remember his name) came up to us from sitting in the chairs and they were bowed right next to us putting their arms around us to comfort us. I looked at him for 3 seconds and burst into another fit of tears. He must have seen the pain in my eyes because he started crying too. I had hardly ever said hi to this guy before and now, he was treating me like his best friend. after all that mess I sat with Jesse and his friend with Katie every chance we got. It was one of the most moving expeirences in my life. Especially when they started sing Voice of Truth on stage. Now every time I hear that sing I almost cry. I had to sing it for my youth group one day a few weeks later and I strating tearing up while I was singing. That was embarasing.
So anyway, since we switched churches, I haven't seen Jesse in a long time, I don't know his last name, I don't know his phone number, I haven't talked to him in forever. I was crying last night because I thought about what would do if Jesse died. Even though I don't ever see him or talk to him, I would kill myself if I found out he died. He was in 8th grade or something when I was in 6th so I guess he in 10th grade now.
So, all of this is not Zach's fault. It's my fault for getting so freaking emotional. Everytime I see Zach, I see Jesse. I don't even know if his name is Jesse! I think it is. I'm so freaked that I'm going to see Zach and start crying. I relly wish I knew where he is and if he is okay...
Miri