why do i even try?
it seems like whenever i have something good going, it gets all messed up. whenever i think i'm finally over something, there's something there that triggers me. i HATE myself for being so emotional.
i'm just going to stop caring about other people. i guess i just have this weird control issue, that i seriously need to get over it.
you wanna know something? i took 3 vicodin this morning, and it was great... i thought that i had gotten over the urge to get high, but i didn't, and i never will. all those months of being sober was just me depriving myself of what i need to keep me going.
i realize that i'm still buzzing, but i know i'm making perfect sense.
i just wish i had the balls to say how i f feel on these fucking things without pissing people off, but i can't because i get too upset when people are mad at me, and i like feeling secure like i do now. maybe one day, i will.
i'm just to that point again where i want to fucking yell at someone until they get the point i'm trying to get across at that time.
i want to go out and just talk to someone, without anything else. kendra's in houston can't do that... i don't want to get accused of "getting to close to someone". i don't i just need to talk to someone whose not on the other end of my phone. you know?
well i need to go
-heather
i'm just going to stop caring about other people. i guess i just have this weird control issue, that i seriously need to get over it.
you wanna know something? i took 3 vicodin this morning, and it was great... i thought that i had gotten over the urge to get high, but i didn't, and i never will. all those months of being sober was just me depriving myself of what i need to keep me going.
i realize that i'm still buzzing, but i know i'm making perfect sense.
i just wish i had the balls to say how i f feel on these fucking things without pissing people off, but i can't because i get too upset when people are mad at me, and i like feeling secure like i do now. maybe one day, i will.
i'm just to that point again where i want to fucking yell at someone until they get the point i'm trying to get across at that time.
i want to go out and just talk to someone, without anything else. kendra's in houston can't do that... i don't want to get accused of "getting to close to someone". i don't i just need to talk to someone whose not on the other end of my phone. you know?
well i need to go
-heather