sad again, sort of
I wish that you could just magically transfer all your thoughts to someone else's brain, so they would know what you were thinking (on second thought, this may not be the best thing!).
One of my friends (Lily) is upset with me because (I think this is why) she thinks that I never hang out with her. Or maybe it's because she thinks we make plans and then I bail out on her. We were maybe going to go out to an open mike night on Monday ("maybe" being the important word in my mind). I thought I made it clear that it was just a tentative thing, and that I would try my best to get a paper written and other stuff done, but that it was TENTATIVE. I guess I didn't get that across as well as I thought I did. So on Sunday night I called her and said, I didn't get enough done this weekend; I can't hang out-maybe next week, etc.
Over the weekend I: 1)went to a wedding (Saturday) and 2)had a fun day on Sunday (Joe and I and Tiff went hiking, then out to lunch, then Tiff and I went clothes shopping together). So, yes, I could have done more homework, but I didn't feel guilty about actually having a weekend off until Lily got mad at me. I guess it doesn't help that Lily feels abandoned by her friends, but it really hurt to be told that I didn't work hard enough to hang out with her. It wasn't as if I was deliberately trying to make excuses for not spending time with her.
So then today she asked me if I wanted to go to a Mary Kay party with her on Saturday. I thought that sounded fun, but I remembered that I work on Saturday, and said I had better not plan on anything. So she got mad again and said I was really hard to make plans with (translation: Rachel is not a reliable friend).
It's weird because I feel like we've been spending a lot of time together. She seems to think we never hang out. I don't know if she understands my life very much. It's hard to balance marriage and school and work; then to add other friendships into the mix--I have so much to think about it's like I have to make sure my head doesn't pop off.
But I think there is some truth to what she seems to be afraid of. I don't want to hang out with her as much as some other friends I have--part of it is because she's paranoid that people aren't going to stay friends with her. Arrrgh!!!! At the beginning of this year she was a lot more pleasant to be around, but she's gotten more and more edgy and awkward. I suppose I should just be her friend anyway, but it's hard.
Well anyway, I don't really know what will happen or if I want to stay friends with her. I don't want to hurt her anymore than she seems to be hurt already, but I don't know how to handle this situation.
I didn't expect this to be a rant about Lily, but I think this is better than gossiping the story to everyone I see. My journal's getting pretty depressing; hopefully I'll be able to write some happy stuff soon!
One of my friends (Lily) is upset with me because (I think this is why) she thinks that I never hang out with her. Or maybe it's because she thinks we make plans and then I bail out on her. We were maybe going to go out to an open mike night on Monday ("maybe" being the important word in my mind). I thought I made it clear that it was just a tentative thing, and that I would try my best to get a paper written and other stuff done, but that it was TENTATIVE. I guess I didn't get that across as well as I thought I did. So on Sunday night I called her and said, I didn't get enough done this weekend; I can't hang out-maybe next week, etc.
Over the weekend I: 1)went to a wedding (Saturday) and 2)had a fun day on Sunday (Joe and I and Tiff went hiking, then out to lunch, then Tiff and I went clothes shopping together). So, yes, I could have done more homework, but I didn't feel guilty about actually having a weekend off until Lily got mad at me. I guess it doesn't help that Lily feels abandoned by her friends, but it really hurt to be told that I didn't work hard enough to hang out with her. It wasn't as if I was deliberately trying to make excuses for not spending time with her.
So then today she asked me if I wanted to go to a Mary Kay party with her on Saturday. I thought that sounded fun, but I remembered that I work on Saturday, and said I had better not plan on anything. So she got mad again and said I was really hard to make plans with (translation: Rachel is not a reliable friend).
It's weird because I feel like we've been spending a lot of time together. She seems to think we never hang out. I don't know if she understands my life very much. It's hard to balance marriage and school and work; then to add other friendships into the mix--I have so much to think about it's like I have to make sure my head doesn't pop off.
But I think there is some truth to what she seems to be afraid of. I don't want to hang out with her as much as some other friends I have--part of it is because she's paranoid that people aren't going to stay friends with her. Arrrgh!!!! At the beginning of this year she was a lot more pleasant to be around, but she's gotten more and more edgy and awkward. I suppose I should just be her friend anyway, but it's hard.
Well anyway, I don't really know what will happen or if I want to stay friends with her. I don't want to hurt her anymore than she seems to be hurt already, but I don't know how to handle this situation.
I didn't expect this to be a rant about Lily, but I think this is better than gossiping the story to everyone I see. My journal's getting pretty depressing; hopefully I'll be able to write some happy stuff soon!