REPOSTING: Fantasia [1/3]
Title: Fantasia [1/3]
Author: mumuja
Pairing: OnKey, implied HyunMin
Genre: Romance, a small hint of Angst
Rating: pg-15
Summary: When an event is meant to be, no matter how many times it repeats itself, the outcome is always the same.
Disclaimer: Only own plot
A/N: Hello everyone! it's been a long time since i posted right?? hope you didn't miss me too much :D LOL... okay, so as many of you know, i've been pretty sick these past few days >.<, which totally suck btw cause i'm on vacations right now, and that's basically the main reason why i still haven't updated my chaptered fics yet. I wrote this three-shot while i was resting on bed :), so it's pretty much finished, i'm just gonna post part by part to give the comm a break and not spam it with multiple updates!! next week i'm gonna finally update Formosus!! cause i miss it, and i can't keep you guys waiting!! Soo enjoy this three-shot, and tell me what you think?? I still own my cocoa puff comment replies!! i haven't forgotten :D and i will start responding to them now!! so pls leave some comments telling me what you think okay?? love you guys!! and thank you to all of you who cared about my health!! -huge huggles- ENJOY!! oh! and the song well it's the piano version of the song we all know and love! isn't it freaking awesome!?? :D
Fantasia.
A person often meets its destiny on the road he took to avoid.
------------------------------
00:00. October 1st, 2010.
I had to believe this was gonna work, I didn’t have any other choice. I wanted him to forget me, to move on, because there was no future for us…I had ruined any future they might had been. He’ll hate me, he surely will, but I prefer hate than a love that can’t be.
The soft chilly breeze caressed my arms, and as the desolated playground stood lifeless at distance, I took a deep breath to muster enough strength to keep walking.
Looking at the moonless night, I could feel chills running up and down my body as I emptied the contents of my bag in the grass. The wind started to whistle ever so softly, and somehow it felt like it was acknowledging my presence and my motives.
“Please… Bring him back.”
My request was directed to the shadows, and even though part of me felt stupid for even considering the fact that this might work, deep down I knew that this HAD to work, cause it was my only chance to make things right.
Life is something magic cannot give or take.
I shivered at the rough voice that whispered answers in my ears. In another time I would’ve freaked out and run away, but what I was determined to do was far more important than any fear. “Then… please replay six months back, so I can avoid ever meeting him.” As I crumbled to the ground, I softly hugged the paper cranes to my chest, several falling from my grip into the empty cold ground.
Very well then…but you do know that replaying your life does not mean that your destiny…his destiny, is gonna change.
“I-I…I don’t care, I know that this time I’m gonna be able to save him…from me.”
Okay… once everything is replayed, all your memories of this, of him, and what happened are gonna be lost and forgotten.
“I know…” Tears soaked the unanimated cranes pressed against my chest, but I was determined to get everything back… to get his life back. Calloused fingers touched the origami animals laying on the empty soil, pleading silently that those thousand cranes sprawled all over me would work their magic again.
Sometimes decisions are meant to be taken… maybe what happened was meant to happen… Still agree?
“His death was not meant to happen… that’s why I want to replay everything and change the way things turned out.”
It’s your choice… the magic of the thousand cranes cannot be questioned nor ignored, so please make your wish.
“I wish… to replay these six months… to the time were life was still simple and loveless.”
I closed my eyes, feeling how the wind started blowing strongly through the trees. Swings stared clinging violently, and the merry-go-rounds were twirling with hidden life in seconds. I opened my eyes as soon as the cranes against my chest were ripped from my hands, and gasping at the massive blur of colors that surrounded me, I let a silent scream out.
Blurry shapes danced around me, and slowly I could feel my body disintegrating into nothingness. The thousand cranes jolted to the sky, bathing the desolated park with neon lights.
Sometimes Key… Love is meant to be. Tragic is meant to be.
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00:00. April 1st, 2010.
I woke up startled; sweat and tears mixed messily all over my face as my hands trembled with over boarding fear. Nightmares shook something deep inside me, and I hated myself every time I let them get the best of me. This nightmare had been different though, and I guess that was what made it the more frightening. Blurry images haunted my blood shot eyes, and the vague memory of a moonless night and wind twirling around me had me shivering in seconds.
“God I’m going crazy.” As I ran a hand through my sweaty bangs, I took a peak at the digital clock set in my nightstand. Groaning, I smashed my head against the pillows, not believing I was actually awake at this ungodly hour.
Fuzzy images of the bright colored nightmare still flashed lazily through my closed lids. It wasn’t even scary to be considered a nightmare actually; no monsters, vampires, or werewolves starring in the vivid dream, but just the fact that it felt so… real, made it quite scary.
I lifted my hand to rub my crust filled eyes when something sharp poked my eyeball. Cursing lowly, I opened my unharmed eye to stare at the offending artifact. Surprise was the prominent emotion inside me as a small origami animal greeted my groggy vision. I quickly sat up, pushing the covers off my semi-naked body to examine the alien object in my hands.
“What the he…” I twisted the paper crane in my hands, watching how the moonlight reflected its neon colors all over the room. How the heck did this manage to make its way into my hand? I couldn’t even make a paper airplane!
“Dude, our rooms are so close I can literally hear you groaning and stuff.” I rolled my eyes as a young brunette made his way inside my room. He had clearly been deeply asleep, and I almost felt bad about waking him up when I suddenly remembered a very important event that happened last week.
“Think of it as payback for keeping me up all night last week. Seriously… you and Taemin are worst than a pair of gay porn stars at a cheap movie set.” He grunted, scratching lazily his boxer covered hipbone as he slowly made his way towards my bed, moaning as my soft covers met his exposed chest.
“Whatever, you are just a pervert who loves to listen to our love sessions… can we please sleep now?” I kicked his butt with my foot, earning a soft groan from the older boy hovering over half of my bed.
“Go sleep on your own room…”
“You bed is way softer… which is totally unfair cause mine is prettier.” I rolled my eyes, plopping myself next to the unmoving body as my eyes were still fixated on the mysterious paper crane.
“Hey, Jjong… did you by any chance slip this in my hand while I was sleeping?” The brunette turned his head at my direction, opening one eye to stare at the pretty origami in my hands.
“Uh yeah, whatever… happy April Fools’ day.” I smacked his head, making the older boy curse against the bed sheets.
“What the fuck Key?!! It’s too early to start with the abusive behavior!” I sighed, placing the crane in my nightstand before slipping under the covers.
“I’m serious you pre-historical marmot. I wanna know why I woke up in the middle of the night with a paper crane in my hand.”
“Maybe some evil spirit took position of your body and made you do origami in the middle of the night… look, don’t think too much about it okay? This is probably one of your sister’s weird fetishes kicking in…”
“Probably…” Snoring came soon afterwards, and I was left staring at the intriguing paper animal next to me. Sulli had always been a girl with weird hobbies, and it wouldn’t be surprising to find that she was now into the ancient art of origami.
“Some best friend.” My murmur was muted by the loud snores coming from the drooling brunette, and kicking his butt one last time, I resumed myself to sleeping, trying not to think too much on the way the crane seemed to glow in the dark… or the way it seemed to whisper soft chants into my ears.
Destiny always repeats itself…
-----------------------
“Buy me a new cell phone….buy me a new cell phone…oh! And a cam recorder… buy me a new cell phone and a cam recorder… bu-”
“I’m awake you moron… so stop harassing my ear.” I didn’t bother to open my eyes, knowing fully well that the older boy I called my best friend was practically hovering over me to lure me into buying him stuff with that cheap ass technique. Surely this lame technique would’ve worked with simple minded person, but my brain was way too complicated and complex to fall into that trap.
“Fuck… why can you be normal for once… anyways, wake up, it’s seven already.” I groaned against the pillows, trying to block as much sunlight and reality as possible. The idea of cutting Jjong’s arm shined brightly in my head as the said brunette started shaking me violently.
“Come on! Wake up and cook me some food!” I turned my head just in time to witness the biggest pout in babies’ history. Was it even possible for a twenty year old to still pout? I think it’s physically impossible at that age, but again, Jonghyun defied all gravity laws with him drooling upside down while sleeping.
“I’m not cooking for you, so you might as well stop molesting my arm.” I sighed happily as the persistent nagging stopped, but in seconds the nice peace was gravelly disturbed by ten fingers crawling slowly over my sides.
“Don’t you dare Kim Jonghyun, or I swear I’ll shave half of your head and sent it to your mothe-” The threat was never delivered as my insides shook violently with convulsing laughter. I gasped tiredly for air, laughing breathlessly as Jjong continued his tickling administrations. In these moments, the fact that I was very sensitive sucked to the max, and Jonghyun knowing that small piece of information made everything more suckier.
We were so absorbed in our little wrestling fight that we didn’t hear the door creak open, and as we rolled all over my messed up bed, we failed to notice the thin figure resting over the door frame with an amused expression. Two guys wrestling in a messy bed with nothing but boxers on… that’s just screaming for a misunderstanding.
“Okay cowboys, once you’re done replaying the sex scene of Brokeback Mountain, you can come to the kitchen to have some breakfast.” We stood frozen in each others’ arms, eyes wide as a deer being caught as we stared at my sister’s figure by the door. I swear that girl had the worst timing ever, and the sharpest tongue too. I quickly pushed Jjong off me, grabbing the closest pillow to throw it to the now closing door. Sulli’s snickers from outside the room made me frown and groan, and soon I could feel the older boy climbing off the bed.
“Hey… where did the crane go?” I eyed the empty nightstand, trying to remember if by any chance I re-placed the origami animal in a different location. Jonghyun shrugged his shoulders, roaming the carpeted floor with half lidded eyes.
“Beats me… maybe it flew away.” I rolled my eyes, staring at the open window and the wind that softly rolled inside my room like cool waves. I couldn’t have dreamt that crane… but Jjong was probably right, it must’ve flown away at some point during the night. It was a pity though, cause there had been something interesting about the paper crane… something beautiful indeed.
We slowly made our way into our respective bathrooms, preparing ourselves for another dreadful day of college. Getting a Bachelor’s degree in dance was no easy thing, but dancing was in my veins, in my DNA. My mother was a well known ballerina dancer, and my father was an executive producer with several Broadway hits filing up in his resume. Having such talented parents only added to the pressure of filling their expectations and even though they had assured me several times that it didn’t matter what I did or how many times I fell on my back, what mattered was my drive to push myself harder and not give up.
After my shockingly cold shower, I stumbled clumsily to my closet, pulling a pair of gray cropped sweatpants and a black hoodie. I was having ballet classes that day, so there was no need to dress myself all fancy. I quickly packed my ballet slippers in my duffle bag, shoving a pair of black leggings and short black shorts. Once everything was neatly ready, I made my way out of the room, not bothering to arrange the messy sheets.
I could hear bickering coming from the kitchen and rolling my eyes while I dropped my bag by the front door as the silly arguments reached my ears, I swiftly entered the illuminated room, taking a deep breath of the bacon filled air. It was a beautiful morning, with the sky as blue as the ocean and birds chirping happily in the wind. Life seemed almost perfect, almost right, and taking one look at my surroundings, I plopped myself over the closest empty chair.
“Come on Sulli!! Fetch me some bacon!”
“Go fetch your ass you blonde dinosaur!”
“Sulli watch your language.”
“Sorry Key…”
Spring break was slowly coming to an end, and it was clear by the way the wind carried fallen leaves through the heated air. Sulli was the only sister I had, and the only one I was willing to accept, cause the idea of having to put up with another human being with my similar DNA was too much too handle.
Despite our constant nagging at each other, and our outrageous differences, I knew sixteen year old had cried the day I left for college. Of course, I would never admit that I cried my eye balls out too, but the missing surely got better as she visits whenever there are plane tickets available. The little smart ass got all her teachers wrapped around her little finger that they never fail to email her all her homework when she flies to visit.
I always mock her and tell her she’s adopted just for the heck of it, cause let’s face it… I was the dancing prodigy as well as my mother and somehow my father too… and as my parents caringly called Sulli, she’s our smart ray of sunshine. I always called her our smart adopted ray of sunshine just for fun.
“Hey, walking encyclopedia, did you by any chance slipped some origami shit in Key’s hand last night?”
“If I ever think of slipping something in someone’s hand during the night, it’s gonna be a tampon in your vagina.” Some orange juice made it into my air way, and in no time, I was a coughing mess howling in laughter. From the day Jonghyun met my younger sister while we were wasting our lives in middle school until now, they’ve never been on the best terms. They were good friends and everything, but their friendship was highly based on disrespect and self degradation; my sister being a sixteen year old junior with a sharp tonghe and my best friend a twenty year old college student majoring in music engineering with the IQ of a fourteen year old.
“On a serious note now, you haven’t gotten a weird clinging on origami by any chance?” The young girl shook her head, walking towards the sink to throw her dirty plates in. The same feeling of fear and uncertainty washed over me, and I found myself staring at the half empty plate with the untouched pancakes. The sound of a cell phone ringing woke me up from my stupor, and soon a brown haired boy was scurrying hurriedly to his bedroom, falling several times on the way.
Hey baby! What’s up?...Oh you want me to pick you up?...Sure, I’ll be there in a few! I recognized the sickly sweet tone Jjong used whenever his long term boyfriend was on the phone, and rolling my eyes at the sugary display of I love you’s that followed after, I decided it was better to push the matter of the paper crane aside.
I love you more baby!! No, I love you more!! Na-ah! You can’t love me more!
“God, I would’ve never thought the day would come, but here it is… Kim Jonghyun is officially whipped.” I laughed, patting my sister’s soft brown hair while I dumped the remaining of my breakfast in the trashcan.
“Thank you for the food Sul, it was delicious.” I ignored the whine that escaped her lips as I placed a sloppy kiss on her forehead. This was the kind of things big brothers were supposed to do you know? Embarrass sisters in the most awesome ways possible.
“Your flight leaves at 4 pm right? We’ll be here at 1 to drop you off on time.” I patted her head one last time before exiting the kitchen, making my way down the hallway before barging inside the second door on the left.
“When you’re done jerking off to Taemin’s voice, you can meet downstairs. I’ll be at the car.” I quickly closed the door, snickering as a series of curses followed me down the hallway. I quietly made it to the front door, hoisting my duffle bag over my shoulder while slipping my socked feet in the black sneakers by the entrance.
This seemed like it was gonna be just like any other day, and even though a small eerie feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, I quickly pushed it aside and welcomed the new day with arms wide open.
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14: 00. April 15th, 2010
Two weeks had passed since the crane incident, and I successfully managed to push that mysterious episode aside. Classes slowly returned to normal after the wild spring break everyone seemed to have experienced. I was doing okay in my classes, but there was one class that was slowly starting to give me a headache. Taemin, my partner, tried to encourage me every time my feet missed their cue, or when my pliè wasn’t wide enough.
My teacher, Mr. Moreau, wasn’t hyped about my lack of ballet commitment though, and he never failed to made it notice. He once said I had potential, that I only needed some small pushups here and there, but by the way he was frowning now, eyeing my battement tendu jeté with critical eyes, I knew he had thrown that potential crap off the table long ago.
My right foot suddenly lost its balance, and in seconds I found myself stumbling against a startled Taemin. The music halted to a top, and I could feel the disapproving eyes of my ballet classmates boring holes in my back. It wasn’t the first time my screw ups had ruined the class fluidness, but I could tell my crap was slowly wearing Mr. Moreau patience thin.
“Mr. Kim, perhaps you would like to take a walk? Let your mind focus once again on the important things?” That was his way of saying Get the fuck out of my class you useless boy, so I nodded, not daring to look at Taemin’s comforting eyes as I quickly crossed the wooden floor of the studio; the music coming to life after minutes of pregnant silence. Frustration started building up inside me as I shoved the black hoodie on me. I didn’t care to change, and just like that I stormed out of the depressing classroom, not wanting to face the disapproving glares any longer. I didn’t care about taking my things with me, since I knew Taemin would surely keep an eye on them.
I’ve never been the fucked up student, or the kind of classmate that is left behind, but as odd as it might sound, after that night were I found myself clutching a mysterious paper crane, I haven’t been the same. Call it paranoia; call it whatever you want, but I know that my lack of focus these past few days is somehow tied with the appearance of that mystical origami animal.
Once outside, the soft wind hit my legs covered by a pair of black leggings, and as I adjusted the short shorts into their corresponding position, I could feel the strong smell of paint crawling under my skin.
People walking down the hallways didn’t even care to give me a second look as I slowly dragged my feet over the convulsing corridor. Cranfield University was highly respected for its excellent art careers; every painting, every music instrument lying on the ground exuded inspiration… exuded art, and it was a privilege to be accepted into the most prestigious Art program in the country. Painters, musicians, and dancers strolled down the vividly colored hallways, and I didn’t care to step aside, ignoring the angry complains from the bystanders.
“What’s wrong with me…” I sighed, adjusting my black shorts once more as my stretch ballet slippers squeaked with every step taken. I greeted some friends coming out of their Dance history class, and deciding to take more time to cool off, I continued my strolling down the wide hallway, into the Plastic Art section.
Muse. I needed a muse. I finally understood that what I needed, what I was desperately craving for was inspiration. Of course, the easy part was realizing it, now the next step was the one where many artists got lost. The idea of staying void of inspiration for the rest of my life scared me shitless, and I didn’t need to close my eyes to picture the disappointment that would eat my parent’s high expectations away… it sucked to have a prima ballerina for a mother and a successful executive producer as a father. Overall, in these kind of situations, it sucked to be a Kim.
I coughed nervously, almost scowling myself for venturing into the foreign lands of the painters’ section. Art students stared amusedly before sketching over crispy white canvas, not caring much that a ballet dancer was walking down their hallways. I pulled my hoodie up, trying to pass unnoticed, failing miserably as my short shorts and black leggins only drew more attention.
I finally decided, after a few cat whistles from the male population, that parading in my ballet outwear down an unknown section had been a bad, terribly bad idea, so as quickly as possible, I took the first flight of stairs I could encounter, not caring where they would lead me. I cursed as my foot stepped over what seemed to be a used coal pencil, sending me straight to the cold marble floor.
I closed my eyes, thinking all the way I was falling, over the possible injuries I would suffer. Since I was falling face first to the ground, it was very likely I was gonna be sporting a broken nose for a while, as well as a broken arm, and to my disgrace, a twisted ankle. With a big gasp, my body collided with an amusingly warm and soft surface, and scared with the idea that maybe the fall had been so serious I had somehow landed in the cloudy floor of heaven, I opened my eyes, meeting bright yellow.
“What…heaven is not yellow.” My words were muffled by the soft yet firm surface my face had been smashed into, and as my fingers itched to poke the intriguing yellow warmness, I decided it was better to look up and face reality.
Brown orbs greeted my from higher heights, and the first thing that came to my mind was an awkward Pretty chocolate eyes. The owner of those moon shaped orbs was smiling down at me; his arms constructing a safe cocoon around me. In seconds, I realized I had somehow landed on someone rather than on something, so with a quiet squeak from my part, I pushed myself up, muttering low sorry’s as I detangled my shaking body from the appealing young male that had turned into my savior in seconds.
“Are you okay?” I manage to nod, not believing the sight in front of me. The boy in front of me looked like a young twenty three year old, and he was by far, the closest thing to perfection that I’ve ever seen.
Messy light brown hair adorned his head, and I had to clench my fist tight to restrain my curious hands from touching. His eyes were just pools of earthy beauty, and after swimming in them for a little while, my eyes traveled downward, sighing softly as a pair of pink plush lips were stretched in a breath taking smile. I soon realized that the yellowness I’ve seen at first had been in fact, a yellow Donald duck t-shirt the young male was currently sporting. It should be a crime for someone to look so incredibly appealing in such a lame shirt, but again, it should be a sin to even be so gorgeous in the first place.
“I hope you didn’t twist your ankle! That fall looked pretty bad.” I quickly redistributed my weight over my injured ankle, sighing happily as no pain shot from the heaviness. Once again, I remembered that this gorgeous stranger had saved my body from harm, so as fast as possible, I was bowing; my cheeks flushed crimson as I heard a soft gasp escaping those captivating lips.
“Thank you very much for catching my fall. I’m never this reckless.” I pulled myself up after that, feeling my cheeks fully reddening as the beautiful stranger smiled more widely over my apology.
“It’s okay, I actually didn’t mind. I mean… it’s not every day that a ballet dancer falls into your arms…almost like it fell from heaven.” His eyes got softer in seconds, and my heart started slamming in my chest after those words slipped from that smile. The older male suddenly realized his mistake, and coughing while trying to look as calm as possible, he quickly rearranged his back pack that had been somehow thrown to the floor in the unexpected collision. I found some kind of satisfaction as the sight of a soft blush in those puffy tofu like cheeks made its way visible to me.
“Oh! I’m Jinki by the way! Lee Jinki.”
I couldn’t describe the strong sense of déjà vu that washed over me in that moment. I’ve heard about the strange time phenomenon before, but actually feeling that something has already happened before was quite frightening. I could almost swear on my life that I had already heard that self introduction before, maybe in some different way, but surely this episode had already happened at some point in my life. Confusion slipped in that handsome face as the boy named Jinki took notice of my creasing frustration.
“Is something wrong?” Going back to reality, I quickly shook my head, trying to erase the crazy feeling of déjà vu off my body. I smiled, climbing down the step I was on as I realized I was still stepping on the offending stairs. He was of course taller than me, and I wanted to scowl at myself as my insides squirmed with happiness. The fact that he was taller than me, had my mind working over ridiculous fantasies, all involving Jinki and my arms wrapped around him.
“Hello Jinki, I’m Kibum. Kim Kibum.” Like a truck colliding into a post, the image of the paper crane that had appeared nights ago hit my mind in seconds. It was like everything was somehow connected; the mysterious origami animal, the sense of déjà vu. Just maybe… I had met the older boy in another life? I chuckled to myself over that though, not minding at all the idea of me and the gorgeous boy named Jinki having some kind of relationship in another life. Who knows, maybe history was bound to repeat itself?
“I know it might sound weird but… I feel like I’ve meet you before?” I gasped, quickly nodding in agreement as Jinki scratched the back of his head with a deep blush tainting his puffed cheeks. I could tell he liked the idea of not feeling like a creep as his eyes widened considerably at the shared information.
“I know! It’s like dèj-.”
“jà vu! I know! Weird huh?” I laughed, enjoying the absence of awkwardness. Jinki smiled, looking everywhere first before settling his eyes on me. There was something about those scorching brown eyes that had my knees wobbling in hopelessness. In that moment, I knew that it didn’t matter if I met Jinki in my past life, of the life before that, because I was suddenly settled into marking our history in this one. My heart quivered and turned with blossoming new feelings, and I gasping unexpectedly, I rejoiced internally over my newfound discovery.
“Look, umm… I’m not the type to be straight forward or anything, but… would you like to grab a cup of coffee or something? It’s okay if you don’t want t-”
“I would love to.” The ballet class could pretty much go to hell right now, cause I wouldn’t change the feeling of butterflies dancing in my stomach for the world. I didn’t need to worry about my inspiration anymore, cause as easily as slipping over a piece of coal, I had just found my muse. It was so easy right now, to imagine my feet moving to the music while my feet glided over the endless pliès and relevès.
I giggled softly as Jinki seemed to blush his cheeks away, stumbling awkwardly over his feet as he quietly led the way to the nearest coffee shop. The day seemed suddenly brighter, and as the image of the paper crane kept creeping over my overjoyed mind every now and then, the yellowness in my head pushed the eerie images away.
My heart slammed restlessly over my chest, and as butterflies fluttered animatedly on my squirming stomach, I felt like I was reliving a love story all over again. A love story, were a happy ending was still missing; a love story, were tragedy was luring at every corner.
Sometimes Key, an event can repeat itself multiple times… but the outcome will always be the same. Being life or death.
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->Originally posted on ignyte_passion
Author: mumuja
Pairing: OnKey, implied HyunMin
Genre: Romance, a small hint of Angst
Rating: pg-15
Summary: When an event is meant to be, no matter how many times it repeats itself, the outcome is always the same.
Disclaimer: Only own plot
A/N: Hello everyone! it's been a long time since i posted right?? hope you didn't miss me too much :D LOL... okay, so as many of you know, i've been pretty sick these past few days >.<, which totally suck btw cause i'm on vacations right now, and that's basically the main reason why i still haven't updated my chaptered fics yet. I wrote this three-shot while i was resting on bed :), so it's pretty much finished, i'm just gonna post part by part to give the comm a break and not spam it with multiple updates!! next week i'm gonna finally update Formosus!! cause i miss it, and i can't keep you guys waiting!! Soo enjoy this three-shot, and tell me what you think?? I still own my cocoa puff comment replies!! i haven't forgotten :D and i will start responding to them now!! so pls leave some comments telling me what you think okay?? love you guys!! and thank you to all of you who cared about my health!! -huge huggles- ENJOY!! oh! and the song well it's the piano version of the song we all know and love! isn't it freaking awesome!?? :D
Fantasia.
A person often meets its destiny on the road he took to avoid.
------------------------------
00:00. October 1st, 2010.
I had to believe this was gonna work, I didn’t have any other choice. I wanted him to forget me, to move on, because there was no future for us…I had ruined any future they might had been. He’ll hate me, he surely will, but I prefer hate than a love that can’t be.
The soft chilly breeze caressed my arms, and as the desolated playground stood lifeless at distance, I took a deep breath to muster enough strength to keep walking.
Looking at the moonless night, I could feel chills running up and down my body as I emptied the contents of my bag in the grass. The wind started to whistle ever so softly, and somehow it felt like it was acknowledging my presence and my motives.
“Please… Bring him back.”
My request was directed to the shadows, and even though part of me felt stupid for even considering the fact that this might work, deep down I knew that this HAD to work, cause it was my only chance to make things right.
Life is something magic cannot give or take.
I shivered at the rough voice that whispered answers in my ears. In another time I would’ve freaked out and run away, but what I was determined to do was far more important than any fear. “Then… please replay six months back, so I can avoid ever meeting him.” As I crumbled to the ground, I softly hugged the paper cranes to my chest, several falling from my grip into the empty cold ground.
Very well then…but you do know that replaying your life does not mean that your destiny…his destiny, is gonna change.
“I-I…I don’t care, I know that this time I’m gonna be able to save him…from me.”
Okay… once everything is replayed, all your memories of this, of him, and what happened are gonna be lost and forgotten.
“I know…” Tears soaked the unanimated cranes pressed against my chest, but I was determined to get everything back… to get his life back. Calloused fingers touched the origami animals laying on the empty soil, pleading silently that those thousand cranes sprawled all over me would work their magic again.
Sometimes decisions are meant to be taken… maybe what happened was meant to happen… Still agree?
“His death was not meant to happen… that’s why I want to replay everything and change the way things turned out.”
It’s your choice… the magic of the thousand cranes cannot be questioned nor ignored, so please make your wish.
“I wish… to replay these six months… to the time were life was still simple and loveless.”
I closed my eyes, feeling how the wind started blowing strongly through the trees. Swings stared clinging violently, and the merry-go-rounds were twirling with hidden life in seconds. I opened my eyes as soon as the cranes against my chest were ripped from my hands, and gasping at the massive blur of colors that surrounded me, I let a silent scream out.
Blurry shapes danced around me, and slowly I could feel my body disintegrating into nothingness. The thousand cranes jolted to the sky, bathing the desolated park with neon lights.
Sometimes Key… Love is meant to be. Tragic is meant to be.
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00:00. April 1st, 2010.
I woke up startled; sweat and tears mixed messily all over my face as my hands trembled with over boarding fear. Nightmares shook something deep inside me, and I hated myself every time I let them get the best of me. This nightmare had been different though, and I guess that was what made it the more frightening. Blurry images haunted my blood shot eyes, and the vague memory of a moonless night and wind twirling around me had me shivering in seconds.
“God I’m going crazy.” As I ran a hand through my sweaty bangs, I took a peak at the digital clock set in my nightstand. Groaning, I smashed my head against the pillows, not believing I was actually awake at this ungodly hour.
Fuzzy images of the bright colored nightmare still flashed lazily through my closed lids. It wasn’t even scary to be considered a nightmare actually; no monsters, vampires, or werewolves starring in the vivid dream, but just the fact that it felt so… real, made it quite scary.
I lifted my hand to rub my crust filled eyes when something sharp poked my eyeball. Cursing lowly, I opened my unharmed eye to stare at the offending artifact. Surprise was the prominent emotion inside me as a small origami animal greeted my groggy vision. I quickly sat up, pushing the covers off my semi-naked body to examine the alien object in my hands.
“What the he…” I twisted the paper crane in my hands, watching how the moonlight reflected its neon colors all over the room. How the heck did this manage to make its way into my hand? I couldn’t even make a paper airplane!
“Dude, our rooms are so close I can literally hear you groaning and stuff.” I rolled my eyes as a young brunette made his way inside my room. He had clearly been deeply asleep, and I almost felt bad about waking him up when I suddenly remembered a very important event that happened last week.
“Think of it as payback for keeping me up all night last week. Seriously… you and Taemin are worst than a pair of gay porn stars at a cheap movie set.” He grunted, scratching lazily his boxer covered hipbone as he slowly made his way towards my bed, moaning as my soft covers met his exposed chest.
“Whatever, you are just a pervert who loves to listen to our love sessions… can we please sleep now?” I kicked his butt with my foot, earning a soft groan from the older boy hovering over half of my bed.
“Go sleep on your own room…”
“You bed is way softer… which is totally unfair cause mine is prettier.” I rolled my eyes, plopping myself next to the unmoving body as my eyes were still fixated on the mysterious paper crane.
“Hey, Jjong… did you by any chance slip this in my hand while I was sleeping?” The brunette turned his head at my direction, opening one eye to stare at the pretty origami in my hands.
“Uh yeah, whatever… happy April Fools’ day.” I smacked his head, making the older boy curse against the bed sheets.
“What the fuck Key?!! It’s too early to start with the abusive behavior!” I sighed, placing the crane in my nightstand before slipping under the covers.
“I’m serious you pre-historical marmot. I wanna know why I woke up in the middle of the night with a paper crane in my hand.”
“Maybe some evil spirit took position of your body and made you do origami in the middle of the night… look, don’t think too much about it okay? This is probably one of your sister’s weird fetishes kicking in…”
“Probably…” Snoring came soon afterwards, and I was left staring at the intriguing paper animal next to me. Sulli had always been a girl with weird hobbies, and it wouldn’t be surprising to find that she was now into the ancient art of origami.
“Some best friend.” My murmur was muted by the loud snores coming from the drooling brunette, and kicking his butt one last time, I resumed myself to sleeping, trying not to think too much on the way the crane seemed to glow in the dark… or the way it seemed to whisper soft chants into my ears.
Destiny always repeats itself…
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“Buy me a new cell phone….buy me a new cell phone…oh! And a cam recorder… buy me a new cell phone and a cam recorder… bu-”
“I’m awake you moron… so stop harassing my ear.” I didn’t bother to open my eyes, knowing fully well that the older boy I called my best friend was practically hovering over me to lure me into buying him stuff with that cheap ass technique. Surely this lame technique would’ve worked with simple minded person, but my brain was way too complicated and complex to fall into that trap.
“Fuck… why can you be normal for once… anyways, wake up, it’s seven already.” I groaned against the pillows, trying to block as much sunlight and reality as possible. The idea of cutting Jjong’s arm shined brightly in my head as the said brunette started shaking me violently.
“Come on! Wake up and cook me some food!” I turned my head just in time to witness the biggest pout in babies’ history. Was it even possible for a twenty year old to still pout? I think it’s physically impossible at that age, but again, Jonghyun defied all gravity laws with him drooling upside down while sleeping.
“I’m not cooking for you, so you might as well stop molesting my arm.” I sighed happily as the persistent nagging stopped, but in seconds the nice peace was gravelly disturbed by ten fingers crawling slowly over my sides.
“Don’t you dare Kim Jonghyun, or I swear I’ll shave half of your head and sent it to your mothe-” The threat was never delivered as my insides shook violently with convulsing laughter. I gasped tiredly for air, laughing breathlessly as Jjong continued his tickling administrations. In these moments, the fact that I was very sensitive sucked to the max, and Jonghyun knowing that small piece of information made everything more suckier.
We were so absorbed in our little wrestling fight that we didn’t hear the door creak open, and as we rolled all over my messed up bed, we failed to notice the thin figure resting over the door frame with an amused expression. Two guys wrestling in a messy bed with nothing but boxers on… that’s just screaming for a misunderstanding.
“Okay cowboys, once you’re done replaying the sex scene of Brokeback Mountain, you can come to the kitchen to have some breakfast.” We stood frozen in each others’ arms, eyes wide as a deer being caught as we stared at my sister’s figure by the door. I swear that girl had the worst timing ever, and the sharpest tongue too. I quickly pushed Jjong off me, grabbing the closest pillow to throw it to the now closing door. Sulli’s snickers from outside the room made me frown and groan, and soon I could feel the older boy climbing off the bed.
“Hey… where did the crane go?” I eyed the empty nightstand, trying to remember if by any chance I re-placed the origami animal in a different location. Jonghyun shrugged his shoulders, roaming the carpeted floor with half lidded eyes.
“Beats me… maybe it flew away.” I rolled my eyes, staring at the open window and the wind that softly rolled inside my room like cool waves. I couldn’t have dreamt that crane… but Jjong was probably right, it must’ve flown away at some point during the night. It was a pity though, cause there had been something interesting about the paper crane… something beautiful indeed.
We slowly made our way into our respective bathrooms, preparing ourselves for another dreadful day of college. Getting a Bachelor’s degree in dance was no easy thing, but dancing was in my veins, in my DNA. My mother was a well known ballerina dancer, and my father was an executive producer with several Broadway hits filing up in his resume. Having such talented parents only added to the pressure of filling their expectations and even though they had assured me several times that it didn’t matter what I did or how many times I fell on my back, what mattered was my drive to push myself harder and not give up.
After my shockingly cold shower, I stumbled clumsily to my closet, pulling a pair of gray cropped sweatpants and a black hoodie. I was having ballet classes that day, so there was no need to dress myself all fancy. I quickly packed my ballet slippers in my duffle bag, shoving a pair of black leggings and short black shorts. Once everything was neatly ready, I made my way out of the room, not bothering to arrange the messy sheets.
I could hear bickering coming from the kitchen and rolling my eyes while I dropped my bag by the front door as the silly arguments reached my ears, I swiftly entered the illuminated room, taking a deep breath of the bacon filled air. It was a beautiful morning, with the sky as blue as the ocean and birds chirping happily in the wind. Life seemed almost perfect, almost right, and taking one look at my surroundings, I plopped myself over the closest empty chair.
“Come on Sulli!! Fetch me some bacon!”
“Go fetch your ass you blonde dinosaur!”
“Sulli watch your language.”
“Sorry Key…”
Spring break was slowly coming to an end, and it was clear by the way the wind carried fallen leaves through the heated air. Sulli was the only sister I had, and the only one I was willing to accept, cause the idea of having to put up with another human being with my similar DNA was too much too handle.
Despite our constant nagging at each other, and our outrageous differences, I knew sixteen year old had cried the day I left for college. Of course, I would never admit that I cried my eye balls out too, but the missing surely got better as she visits whenever there are plane tickets available. The little smart ass got all her teachers wrapped around her little finger that they never fail to email her all her homework when she flies to visit.
I always mock her and tell her she’s adopted just for the heck of it, cause let’s face it… I was the dancing prodigy as well as my mother and somehow my father too… and as my parents caringly called Sulli, she’s our smart ray of sunshine. I always called her our smart adopted ray of sunshine just for fun.
“Hey, walking encyclopedia, did you by any chance slipped some origami shit in Key’s hand last night?”
“If I ever think of slipping something in someone’s hand during the night, it’s gonna be a tampon in your vagina.” Some orange juice made it into my air way, and in no time, I was a coughing mess howling in laughter. From the day Jonghyun met my younger sister while we were wasting our lives in middle school until now, they’ve never been on the best terms. They were good friends and everything, but their friendship was highly based on disrespect and self degradation; my sister being a sixteen year old junior with a sharp tonghe and my best friend a twenty year old college student majoring in music engineering with the IQ of a fourteen year old.
“On a serious note now, you haven’t gotten a weird clinging on origami by any chance?” The young girl shook her head, walking towards the sink to throw her dirty plates in. The same feeling of fear and uncertainty washed over me, and I found myself staring at the half empty plate with the untouched pancakes. The sound of a cell phone ringing woke me up from my stupor, and soon a brown haired boy was scurrying hurriedly to his bedroom, falling several times on the way.
Hey baby! What’s up?...Oh you want me to pick you up?...Sure, I’ll be there in a few! I recognized the sickly sweet tone Jjong used whenever his long term boyfriend was on the phone, and rolling my eyes at the sugary display of I love you’s that followed after, I decided it was better to push the matter of the paper crane aside.
I love you more baby!! No, I love you more!! Na-ah! You can’t love me more!
“God, I would’ve never thought the day would come, but here it is… Kim Jonghyun is officially whipped.” I laughed, patting my sister’s soft brown hair while I dumped the remaining of my breakfast in the trashcan.
“Thank you for the food Sul, it was delicious.” I ignored the whine that escaped her lips as I placed a sloppy kiss on her forehead. This was the kind of things big brothers were supposed to do you know? Embarrass sisters in the most awesome ways possible.
“Your flight leaves at 4 pm right? We’ll be here at 1 to drop you off on time.” I patted her head one last time before exiting the kitchen, making my way down the hallway before barging inside the second door on the left.
“When you’re done jerking off to Taemin’s voice, you can meet downstairs. I’ll be at the car.” I quickly closed the door, snickering as a series of curses followed me down the hallway. I quietly made it to the front door, hoisting my duffle bag over my shoulder while slipping my socked feet in the black sneakers by the entrance.
This seemed like it was gonna be just like any other day, and even though a small eerie feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, I quickly pushed it aside and welcomed the new day with arms wide open.
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14: 00. April 15th, 2010
Two weeks had passed since the crane incident, and I successfully managed to push that mysterious episode aside. Classes slowly returned to normal after the wild spring break everyone seemed to have experienced. I was doing okay in my classes, but there was one class that was slowly starting to give me a headache. Taemin, my partner, tried to encourage me every time my feet missed their cue, or when my pliè wasn’t wide enough.
My teacher, Mr. Moreau, wasn’t hyped about my lack of ballet commitment though, and he never failed to made it notice. He once said I had potential, that I only needed some small pushups here and there, but by the way he was frowning now, eyeing my battement tendu jeté with critical eyes, I knew he had thrown that potential crap off the table long ago.
My right foot suddenly lost its balance, and in seconds I found myself stumbling against a startled Taemin. The music halted to a top, and I could feel the disapproving eyes of my ballet classmates boring holes in my back. It wasn’t the first time my screw ups had ruined the class fluidness, but I could tell my crap was slowly wearing Mr. Moreau patience thin.
“Mr. Kim, perhaps you would like to take a walk? Let your mind focus once again on the important things?” That was his way of saying Get the fuck out of my class you useless boy, so I nodded, not daring to look at Taemin’s comforting eyes as I quickly crossed the wooden floor of the studio; the music coming to life after minutes of pregnant silence. Frustration started building up inside me as I shoved the black hoodie on me. I didn’t care to change, and just like that I stormed out of the depressing classroom, not wanting to face the disapproving glares any longer. I didn’t care about taking my things with me, since I knew Taemin would surely keep an eye on them.
I’ve never been the fucked up student, or the kind of classmate that is left behind, but as odd as it might sound, after that night were I found myself clutching a mysterious paper crane, I haven’t been the same. Call it paranoia; call it whatever you want, but I know that my lack of focus these past few days is somehow tied with the appearance of that mystical origami animal.
Once outside, the soft wind hit my legs covered by a pair of black leggings, and as I adjusted the short shorts into their corresponding position, I could feel the strong smell of paint crawling under my skin.
People walking down the hallways didn’t even care to give me a second look as I slowly dragged my feet over the convulsing corridor. Cranfield University was highly respected for its excellent art careers; every painting, every music instrument lying on the ground exuded inspiration… exuded art, and it was a privilege to be accepted into the most prestigious Art program in the country. Painters, musicians, and dancers strolled down the vividly colored hallways, and I didn’t care to step aside, ignoring the angry complains from the bystanders.
“What’s wrong with me…” I sighed, adjusting my black shorts once more as my stretch ballet slippers squeaked with every step taken. I greeted some friends coming out of their Dance history class, and deciding to take more time to cool off, I continued my strolling down the wide hallway, into the Plastic Art section.
Muse. I needed a muse. I finally understood that what I needed, what I was desperately craving for was inspiration. Of course, the easy part was realizing it, now the next step was the one where many artists got lost. The idea of staying void of inspiration for the rest of my life scared me shitless, and I didn’t need to close my eyes to picture the disappointment that would eat my parent’s high expectations away… it sucked to have a prima ballerina for a mother and a successful executive producer as a father. Overall, in these kind of situations, it sucked to be a Kim.
I coughed nervously, almost scowling myself for venturing into the foreign lands of the painters’ section. Art students stared amusedly before sketching over crispy white canvas, not caring much that a ballet dancer was walking down their hallways. I pulled my hoodie up, trying to pass unnoticed, failing miserably as my short shorts and black leggins only drew more attention.
I finally decided, after a few cat whistles from the male population, that parading in my ballet outwear down an unknown section had been a bad, terribly bad idea, so as quickly as possible, I took the first flight of stairs I could encounter, not caring where they would lead me. I cursed as my foot stepped over what seemed to be a used coal pencil, sending me straight to the cold marble floor.
I closed my eyes, thinking all the way I was falling, over the possible injuries I would suffer. Since I was falling face first to the ground, it was very likely I was gonna be sporting a broken nose for a while, as well as a broken arm, and to my disgrace, a twisted ankle. With a big gasp, my body collided with an amusingly warm and soft surface, and scared with the idea that maybe the fall had been so serious I had somehow landed in the cloudy floor of heaven, I opened my eyes, meeting bright yellow.
“What…heaven is not yellow.” My words were muffled by the soft yet firm surface my face had been smashed into, and as my fingers itched to poke the intriguing yellow warmness, I decided it was better to look up and face reality.
Brown orbs greeted my from higher heights, and the first thing that came to my mind was an awkward Pretty chocolate eyes. The owner of those moon shaped orbs was smiling down at me; his arms constructing a safe cocoon around me. In seconds, I realized I had somehow landed on someone rather than on something, so with a quiet squeak from my part, I pushed myself up, muttering low sorry’s as I detangled my shaking body from the appealing young male that had turned into my savior in seconds.
“Are you okay?” I manage to nod, not believing the sight in front of me. The boy in front of me looked like a young twenty three year old, and he was by far, the closest thing to perfection that I’ve ever seen.
Messy light brown hair adorned his head, and I had to clench my fist tight to restrain my curious hands from touching. His eyes were just pools of earthy beauty, and after swimming in them for a little while, my eyes traveled downward, sighing softly as a pair of pink plush lips were stretched in a breath taking smile. I soon realized that the yellowness I’ve seen at first had been in fact, a yellow Donald duck t-shirt the young male was currently sporting. It should be a crime for someone to look so incredibly appealing in such a lame shirt, but again, it should be a sin to even be so gorgeous in the first place.
“I hope you didn’t twist your ankle! That fall looked pretty bad.” I quickly redistributed my weight over my injured ankle, sighing happily as no pain shot from the heaviness. Once again, I remembered that this gorgeous stranger had saved my body from harm, so as fast as possible, I was bowing; my cheeks flushed crimson as I heard a soft gasp escaping those captivating lips.
“Thank you very much for catching my fall. I’m never this reckless.” I pulled myself up after that, feeling my cheeks fully reddening as the beautiful stranger smiled more widely over my apology.
“It’s okay, I actually didn’t mind. I mean… it’s not every day that a ballet dancer falls into your arms…almost like it fell from heaven.” His eyes got softer in seconds, and my heart started slamming in my chest after those words slipped from that smile. The older male suddenly realized his mistake, and coughing while trying to look as calm as possible, he quickly rearranged his back pack that had been somehow thrown to the floor in the unexpected collision. I found some kind of satisfaction as the sight of a soft blush in those puffy tofu like cheeks made its way visible to me.
“Oh! I’m Jinki by the way! Lee Jinki.”
I couldn’t describe the strong sense of déjà vu that washed over me in that moment. I’ve heard about the strange time phenomenon before, but actually feeling that something has already happened before was quite frightening. I could almost swear on my life that I had already heard that self introduction before, maybe in some different way, but surely this episode had already happened at some point in my life. Confusion slipped in that handsome face as the boy named Jinki took notice of my creasing frustration.
“Is something wrong?” Going back to reality, I quickly shook my head, trying to erase the crazy feeling of déjà vu off my body. I smiled, climbing down the step I was on as I realized I was still stepping on the offending stairs. He was of course taller than me, and I wanted to scowl at myself as my insides squirmed with happiness. The fact that he was taller than me, had my mind working over ridiculous fantasies, all involving Jinki and my arms wrapped around him.
“Hello Jinki, I’m Kibum. Kim Kibum.” Like a truck colliding into a post, the image of the paper crane that had appeared nights ago hit my mind in seconds. It was like everything was somehow connected; the mysterious origami animal, the sense of déjà vu. Just maybe… I had met the older boy in another life? I chuckled to myself over that though, not minding at all the idea of me and the gorgeous boy named Jinki having some kind of relationship in another life. Who knows, maybe history was bound to repeat itself?
“I know it might sound weird but… I feel like I’ve meet you before?” I gasped, quickly nodding in agreement as Jinki scratched the back of his head with a deep blush tainting his puffed cheeks. I could tell he liked the idea of not feeling like a creep as his eyes widened considerably at the shared information.
“I know! It’s like dèj-.”
“jà vu! I know! Weird huh?” I laughed, enjoying the absence of awkwardness. Jinki smiled, looking everywhere first before settling his eyes on me. There was something about those scorching brown eyes that had my knees wobbling in hopelessness. In that moment, I knew that it didn’t matter if I met Jinki in my past life, of the life before that, because I was suddenly settled into marking our history in this one. My heart quivered and turned with blossoming new feelings, and I gasping unexpectedly, I rejoiced internally over my newfound discovery.
“Look, umm… I’m not the type to be straight forward or anything, but… would you like to grab a cup of coffee or something? It’s okay if you don’t want t-”
“I would love to.” The ballet class could pretty much go to hell right now, cause I wouldn’t change the feeling of butterflies dancing in my stomach for the world. I didn’t need to worry about my inspiration anymore, cause as easily as slipping over a piece of coal, I had just found my muse. It was so easy right now, to imagine my feet moving to the music while my feet glided over the endless pliès and relevès.
I giggled softly as Jinki seemed to blush his cheeks away, stumbling awkwardly over his feet as he quietly led the way to the nearest coffee shop. The day seemed suddenly brighter, and as the image of the paper crane kept creeping over my overjoyed mind every now and then, the yellowness in my head pushed the eerie images away.
My heart slammed restlessly over my chest, and as butterflies fluttered animatedly on my squirming stomach, I felt like I was reliving a love story all over again. A love story, were a happy ending was still missing; a love story, were tragedy was luring at every corner.
Sometimes Key, an event can repeat itself multiple times… but the outcome will always be the same. Being life or death.
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->Originally posted on ignyte_passion