FicMix: Loaded God Complex (Godstifer)
Title: Loaded God Complex
Rating: PG
Tracks: 10
A/N: Mostly m4a files. One mp3. Because my computer's being stupid and has trouble converting them sometimes.
Summary: Castiel as God is a lot like Lucifer. So here are 10 songs set to fic about that.
Disclaimer: Songs and show and characters are not mine. The end.
He could ask many questions of the being standing before him, but it would be a show of weakness. God was supposed to know everything, but the creature had Castiel stumped. He was simply standing there, cool gaze trained on the deity, waiting for something that Castiel refused to give him.
“Raphael,” he explained finally, “managed to crack the Gate before you took him down. Very poetic, by the way. I suppose you’re itching to try the same on me, given our history.”
Castiel remained stoic. “Where is Michael?”
Finally, the other angel cracked. He broke eye contact, choosing instead to gaze at a spot on the wall. “He’s not here.”
So he was dead. Dead, or still trapped deep in the Pit. “And why are you here?”
Lucifer looked back up and smiled. “I have a proposition for you, brother.”
“And what would that be?”
“We are alike, you and I. I rebelled and was cast out, you rebelled and were cast out, it’s like déjà vu all over again. The humans warped you as they warped me. I propose vengeance. Together. What do you say?”
When The Devil Gets The Best Of Me - Big & Rich
I've left heartaches thought they'd mend
I know how to lose some real good friends
I get angry, I stay mad
Can't get happy with this life I have
Yeah the man in the mirror ain't no man like I ought to be
Tell me why can't I see
When the devil gets the best of me
Lucifer refused to bow to him, claiming instead that they were equals, deities in their own rights and in their own ways. He didn’t realize how treacherous the tightrope he was walking was, didn’t realize how he was getting on his brother’s nerves with every thought and action.
Lucifer was ruthless in his ways, corrupted in a fashion that even Castiel had never imagined he could be. But he was smart. His strategies left nothing to be desired, and his intelligence was difficult to match.
He would circle his sibling, playing idly with the collar of Castiel’s coat, running fingers through his brother’s hair, detailing the ways in which they were alike, the ways that Castiel was everything he’d never had the chance to be. He spoke as if Castiel were his, a perfect creation molded through fire and betrayal, a seed he had planted and watered and watched spring to life over the years.
The god reveled in the attention.
Mine - Taylor Swift
Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learn my secrets and figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes
They were ageless beings, older than time itself, and powerful enough to bring nations to their knees.
The Winchesters were running scared. Sam was terrified of Lucifer and had taken to carving sigils into his skin to avoid the archangel, marring the once-perfect vessel with strings of Enochian nonsense that did little to protect him. Dean still refused to bow, but that would change. Everything would change. Lucifer told him so.
Castiel trusted his brother. Lucifer had lived through the hardships that the deity suddenly found himself facing, and had an answer to every problem. He watched Castiel’s work with an appraising eye, smiling and critiquing and laughing as humanity fled and the Winchesters wept.
Castiel found that he had missed this closeness with his family. He found that Lucifer had been right all along, ever since their first meeting in Carthage. They were the same being, and together they were making the world their own.
Sympathy For The Devil - Brian Joens
Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and faith
And I was round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Lucifer still refused to bow. He told Castiel stories of angels and gods and humans, creatures that stood for their beliefs instead of falling into line. The few great beings that remained proud through every trial.
Castiel enjoyed his brother’s stories. He especially liked the one about a young angel that had found himself through the folly of humans, following his Father’s orders blindly until the frail nature of humanity had opened his eyes and caused him to rebel. The angel had fallen, cast out due to differing beliefs. He had risen again, dragging himself up from the mud to take control of what his Father had abandoned. He had become a god in his own right and would one day restore the Earth to beauty.
Castiel loved the story. He just wasn’t quite sure which of them was the angel in question.
We Weren’t Born To Follow - Bon Jovi
We Weren’t born to follow
Come on and get up off your knees
When life is a bitter pill to swallow
You gotta hold on to what you believe
Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow
And that saints and sinners bleed
We weren’t born to follow
You gotta stand up for what you believe
Lucifer had a plan. He always had a plan, and Castiel always considered them carefully before acting upon them. The plans were always good, more creative than his own, and that was saying something.
They were lethal plans. Deadly. Brilliant.
They were going to go after the Winchesters. They were unnecessary, useless as long as Castiel kept his brother’s old vessel intact. They were nothing but a nuisance now, insects that ruined the best laid plans and tried to ‘talk him out of it.’
They were trying to ruin Castiel’s perfect world, Lucifer’s new Eden, and they could be tolerated no longer.
The Winchesters had to die.
Sugar, We’re Goin Down - Fall Out Boy
We're goin' down, down, in an earlier round
And sugar, we're goin' down swingin'
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Castiel had fallen for humanity, for the love of a man who refused to believe in him. Lucifer had fallen for God, for the love of a distant Father who refused to see his reasoning. He had fallen again for the love of a human who attempted to trick him. Never again.
Sam’s death was quick, an angelic blade through his heart as cool hands caressed his face.
Dean was less fortunate. He was forced to his knees, made to meet the eyes of the god he’d created in his foolishness. It was then that Castiel remembered, in that instant before his blade struck skin. He remembered everything. Good times and bad, brothels and holy oil and everything in between. He remembered the love that had made him fall, and he wept.
Do You Recall - Royal Wood
Well do you recall?
What made us fall?
Was there noise at all?
Oh do you recall?
Lucifer was persuasive. He always had been. That was the trouble.
Castiel commanded him to bow, hoping to gain some satisfaction from the act, but Lucifer refused. He commanded the angel to obey without question, and Lucifer scoffed. He ordered the angel to explain what they had just done, and Lucifer smiled.
They had done it. They had exterminated the final threat, ensured dominance and success. They had won their War. They had destroyed what little weakness lay in their hearts. It was the only way to gain victory and respect. It was the only way to make the world fear them.
They were living the dream, baby. That was all that mattered.
Castiel respectfully disagreed.
Dream On - Matthew Morrison and Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win
It didn’t feel like a dream or a victory. It felt like a gaping whole within his being, the space that Dean Winchester’s presence on Earth had filled. It felt as through he had been wrong all along, that he caved into the Devil’s silver tongue and destroyed the only thing that had ever really mattered.
The whole thing had started as a way to save Dean, to keep Dean happy, to make Dean safe. And now Dean was dead.
All of the souls, the mass presence, cried out in victory while the tiny angel trapped within cried out in pain. Finally, he understood what Dean had meant when he had fought, when he had refused to help. It hadn’t been a betrayal. It had been the difference between right and wrong, pride and humility.
He just wanted it to end.
And he knew how to end it.
Down - Jason Walker
I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down
Lucifer was sitting at a table in the corner, his nose in a book, when Castiel made his announcement. “I’m going back to Heaven.”
“Rally the troops?” Lucifer asked without looking up.
“I’m going back to relinquish my power.”
The Devil raised his head. “Are you, now?”
“We were wrong. We are not gods. We are merely misguided angels. We killed innocent men. I am going to seek forgiveness.”
“Good luck with that.”
“I would like for you to come with me.”
Lucifer raised a brow. “Really?”
“Heaven is your home, too. Perhaps if we -“
“Do you really think they would take me back? After everything?” He shook his head. “No, Castiel. I’m not going back. I can’t.”
There was such resignation in his voice, a sense of defeat that Castiel had never heard there before. It was humbling. It was terrifying. Lucifer had accepted banishment, accepted a long existence of wandering and loneliness.
“Why did you seek me out?” Castiel asked.
The Devil grinned, the corners of his mouth stretching up in a smile that never quite reached his eyes. “We’re alike, you and I. Kindred spirits tend to seek the company of their own kind.” He turned back to his book. “Good luck, little brother.”
Heaven - O.A.R.
So you take the left, I’ll take the right
Under arrest, we’re under fire
Oh, oh, oh, oh
I don’t wanna go to Heaven if I can’t get in
You take the low, I’ll take the high
You lock the gate, I hear the choir
Everybody got a problem with the way I live
I don’t wanna go to Heaven if I can’t get in
Castiel arrived at the Gates of Heaven to find the area deserted. There were no angels singing praises to him or any other being, no souls shuffling back into their happy memories. There was nothing but space and the perception of metal, the Gates locked to him.
Castiel hit him knees before his home, his head bowed as he reached deep within himself and pulled, purging the souls of monsters from his Grace. Their departure burnt, made him feel weak and listless, nearly caused him to topple over.
When he looked up, the angel found that he wasn’t alone.
The Gates had opened. Standing before them, bathed in light, was the Prophet Chuck. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and he was watching Castiel with a smile on his face. Standing beside him, proud and tall, was Lucifer.
God smiled. “Welcome home, son.”
Between Raising Hell And Amazing Grace - Big & Rich
Somewhere between raising hell and amazing grace
Is a place I keep finding myself
Yeah I get a little crazy trying to have a little fun
Then I end up back where I started from
Down on my knees, I pray
Oh Lord let me see another day
Somewhere between raising hell and amazing grace
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