(Untitled)

[mumbling_truth]

Todd was snuggled next to Neil, deep asleep. There was a frown on his face though. His dreams were troubled again. He shifted in his sleep as brief images flashed in his mind. Passages of a poem drifted, sometimes his, sometimes someone else's, and the words then twisted into discordant nonsense. Dead eyes staring back blankly. Grey places absence

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[poetperry]

Neil was well aware that his lover had been conversing with someone over the past week or so who had really had an impact on the young poet. A good impact...a bad impact...Neil wasn't quite sure he could judge one way or the other. Todd seemed, safe...physically and Venkman's words were forever echoing in Neil's head warning him away from the pitfall of being too protective, too smoothering.

It wasn't easy to keep back, watch from a distance, let Todd make his friends and explore what was perhaps a darker course of discussion then Neil was happy with but...it was Todd's choice and all Neil could do was be there in the night to hold him.

And that was what he was ready to do tonight.

Long arms reached for the shaking body from behind, pulling Todd back towards the warmth of his embrace and the soft comfort of the bed covers.

"Shhhhssss, just a dream, Beautiful Boy."

[mumbling_truth]

Todd gradually stopped shaking, and felt the tension fade from his body.

"I know, it was just..." He broke off, not wanting to say. Or perhaps he didn't really need to say. He raised his hands to clutch Neil's arms, and his head nuzzled against Neil's neck, and head with a desperate air to it. The idea of no emotions, of death. He just wanted to be completely counter from all of it. Feeling and life.

"I need to feel. I can't stand the alternative."

[poetperry]

As he'd been learning to do over the past few days, Neil made certain his hands were moving with loving firmness all over Todd's skin, letting the smaller boy feel the love in his touch.

Leaning to kiss the top of Todd's head, Neil brushed back his lover's hair, nuzzling gently back against him.

"It's all right, Todd. You do feel. You feel and you create and you inspire."

[mumbling_truth]

Todd closed his eyes, and nestled close to Neil. He exhaled slowly, gaining strength and comfort from Neil's love for him. He tilted his head, and kissed Neil's face blindly. He kept his eyes shut so he could focus on feeling and touch more.

He then paused momentarily to comment, "We both do. I just couldn't help thinking. What if that had happened in our world? Trained to be soulless, and willing to destroy? They didn't want us to think for ourselves, remember? We were just supposed to accept what we were told, and that's it."

[poetperry]

The lanky actor turned into the kiss and was quick to return warm, loving caresses of his own lips across his lover's flesh.

"We had Mr. Keating, Todd...and we had our choice to grab the day and make it our own. People give up what they take for granted and soon they forget they ever had it in the first place. We learned what it was to be free in our hearts...and now we're hear, our choice...our love...our life, Todd."

Moving, he rolled so that Todd was pulled across his body, naked flesh sliding along naked flesh.

"This...This is the reality my love. I know you're mind...I know your soul and how you can see it all, how you can feel it all." Neil whispered as he stroked Todd's hair back from his face. "But this is real please...let get of the fear."

[mumbling_truth]

"And I had you to bring me out into the light. I don't like thinking what would have happened if my parents kept me at Balincrest instead." Never to meet Neil, Charlie, Knox, Meeks and Pitts. Never to have Mr. Keating. Never to attend the Dead Poets meetings...

A soft groan, and a purr sounded in his throat as Neil shifted their bodies. He still wanted to just cuddle, and be reassured at the moment. Part of him was getting other ideas, and encouraging the idea of feeling everything. He mentally shushed it for the time being.

"I know, I know this is real. It's the writers who imagine all possibilities though. Other stories, other paths. It's not like I can turn off my imagination, or really want to now. It's not always going to be good, but it's not all bad either."

Todd leaned down to kiss Neil's neck tenderly, and whispered to the pale flesh there, "Right now I just want to see and feel you."

[poetperry]

Reaching up, Neil caught and held Todd's face, lifting his lover's head so that he could see his eyes in the cast of the moonlight.

"Todd, I never...ever want you to turn off your imagination. I only want you to be able to not be so tortured by it."

There was a soft, concerned sort of sadness in his eyes and he leaned up to softly kiss his lover, nothing designed to push them towards greater passion but rather the soft sort of touch they used with each other to sooth and comfort without words.

[mumbling_truth]

Todd's eyes almost glowed with the moonlight as he peered down at Neil.
"I'm not tortured by it. It's just I see so much, it's all there. It's just more. More possibilities, more emotion, my mind just goes there," he replied seriously.

He kissed back with that fervent desperation again, every touch, every sigh emanating with need. How much he loved and needed Neil. They anchored each other, centered and calmed one another. He raised his hands to cradle Neil's face, the urgency for feeling pouring out of him.

[poetperry]

Neil caught that urgency into himself, felt his body responding to it, felt his soul respond to it and his hands slid down along Todd's neck reaching around his shoulders and pulling the smaller boy closer down on top of him.

Neil let his touch, the stroke of his hands, the kiss of his lips the soft sigh from his lungs speak to Todd's words, let his actions give testamony to his love.

[mumbling_truth]

A combination of his recent discussions, the dark turns his mind took in it, and the seperation he felt from his lover during that fading ghost time. All of this was culminating into that urgency. He was back with Neil, but the concept, combined with the other, left scars on his soul. Areas where he had felt torn away. It was time to repair, and heal completely.

Partly because his mind whispered that what if he had been emotionally invisible as well as physically invisible? If Neil couldn't feel him as well as not see him? Would he have been truly gone in those circumstances?

Todd deepened the kiss with a worried sound in his throat at the very possibility. His fingers gently stroked Neil's cheeks, being reassured, reawoken, and slowly healing under the other young man's touch. His own contact back was announcing, 'I'm here. I'm still here.'

[poetperry]

He knew Todd was fighting with some fairly strong demons, what with recent events and past wounding and it broke something in Neil, knowing that his lover was so caught up in his fears. But these were shadows that Todd had to face down and though Neil couldn't fight them off for his lover, he could be there in every other way possible to help remind Todd of just why they were fighting.

Why both of them were fighting.

To make a home, together. To be together...to make it this time, to not fade away, to not self destruct.

Together...together together

The word echoed in Neil's head and his kisses became more intense, more driven, speaking to that need to make love with Todd, to feel Todd moving within his body, to know that they were as close as two people could possible being, joined in the flesh and the spirit.

"Todd..." He whispered the name like a plea...like a benediction.

[mumbling_truth]

And Todd had been recently reminded why fighting was so important. And how he could fight. His words, can urge, can inspire. Getting a real sense of what exactly a poet could do. A few words might be enough to change a person. A few words could possibly even change a world.

No more fading, no more self-destruction. This was their time together now. Make it right and true.

His kisses echoed, and added to the intensity he felt from Neil. His hands lowered to his lover's sides moving slowly up, tracing the ribs, and then down to the slim hips. His soul and his heart reaching back to Neil's, drawing him close.

"I know, Neil. I want you too. Make love with me." He whispered back fiercely. His mouth left Neil's finally, and slowly drew a line of kisses on his cheek, and down his neck to the shoulders.

[poetperry]

Neil arched beneath his fiancee's gentle touch, already losing himself in the magic that Todd's hands wove as they moved over bare pale skin.

The warm feel of his lover's mouth drew a soft, murring sort of purr from Neil's throat a nonverbal noise that was a soft call to his lion mate. Neil's hands were set into motion as wel, stroking along the smooth, powerful expanse of Todd's shoulders, down along the sweet curve of his spine with a light tickle at the slope of his ass before the smaller boy was down and out of reach.

Long legs shifted restlessly, parting to allow Todd's body to settle, like an interlocking puzzle piece, in against Neil's own warm, aroused form.

[mumbling_truth]

Todd smiled against Neil's pale skin, and there was an answering purr from him in response. A bit of an agressive growl was tossed in for fun, since he knew how much Neil liked them. He currently focused on winding his lover up slowly and deliciously, though his hips jerked eagerly in response as he was fitted neatly against the dark haired young man.

Though he was likewise getting heated from Neil's gentle caresses and strokes. His hands kept moving, even he contined his line of kisses, drawing down from the shoulders, along the collarbone, looping around the chest. Brief pauses at the nipples before descending along the trim, strong abdomen before stopping there. His hips rolled just a hair one way, and then the other, continuing to tease. He panted, and his heartrate was quicker now. But he didn't speed up his maddeningly slow pace.

[poetperry]

Neil had always been a natural student but Todd had been the excellent study. They had both only each other to learn from and with but the eagerness to please, the openness to explore had given them both a freedom that went beyond some people who had shared their bed with multiple partners. As Todd moved down along his body, Neil tried to keep his hands on his lover for as long as possible and when that eventually became impossible, he let his body caress Todd back

[mumbling_truth]

Todd was not the quickest study, or didn't seem to be. He had struggled with many of his classes, and it kept him from arriving at Welton sooner originally. The only reason was his ability to focus that helped him greatly.

Of course, the subject matter was a considerable factor as well. And he was finding himself a quick study in this particular subject. And two eager students helping one another made things that much easier and more fun for both.

So it was that Todd was listening to Neil's physical and vocal cues, and learning exactly the best way to tease his lover, and increase the tension further. He shifted himself lowered, first letting his hands caress Neil's thighs and shins. Fingers stroked along the inner thighs, but staying clear of key areas. He grinned a little at the effect he was having on the other teen, and let his mouth descended. Again keeping to hips and legs, but never where Neil most wanted it. He chuckled low in his throat as he teased even further.