Fic - Which Doctor? - 4/10 - Nine/Rose - Ten/Rose - T
Date Published: 6th May 2006
Title: Which Doctor?
Rating: T
Characters: Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU
Word Count: Total, 46,916; This part, 6121
Summary: The Doctor has just regenerated. He's different, exciting, new. Rose isn't sure if she likes him, or if all she wants is her old Doctor back. So when he turns up at the door of the TARDIS what is she supposed to think?
Disclaimer: The names, images and logos identifying the BBC and their products and services are subject to copyright, design rights and trade marks of the BBC. Used without permission for non-profit, non-commercial personal use.
Fic Type: Multi-Chaptered. Complete.
Archived: fanfiction.net.
Author's Note: *giggles* This was written when I wasn't aware of the... ah... "subtext" that was given behind the term 'dancing'. I was so naive. So, yes, there was no double meaning meant. Heh.
Excerpt: His face lit up, his blue eyes sparkling. "Exactly. So you have been listening."
Chapter IV - The Answer to Everything
Despite the suggestion that they should ‘sit and talk’ about everything, it had been a good half an hour of almost complete silence. There were mumbles of how people were (fine) and an agreement that yes, probably, the two were both different stages of the Doctor. As confusing as that had been. But no more had been said, and now silence was beginning to settle over the TARDIS like snow in winter. This was, of course, shortly broken by the second Doctor, who suddenly leapt up off the couch as if it had been on fire.
“I can’t talk!” he complained, letting his arms fall to his side. “I get up, I do things, I explore. Come on, I want to test out the new me. I don’t want to sit around doing nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for a good natter. But not when there’re things to do!”
“Don’t look at me,” the first Doctor shrugged, his hands raised in the air in mock surrender. “It was Rose’s idea.”
“It was not!” she cried loudly, glaring at him next to her on the sofa. “And you know it.”
“Hey, if the shoe fits...” he replied back, with a small shrug.
“Argh, Doctor...” Rose groaned, annoyance tainting her voice. She made to put her head in her hands. He was always so... so... frustrating.
“Yes, Rose?” said the Second simply, with a cheek to his tone. He caught the eye of the First and they both grinned cheekily. Rose looked up from one to the other and groaned loudly.
“You’re as bad as each other,” she complained.
“Of course,” the First sang brightly, getting up from the sofa. “One and the same.”
“The same charm,” the Second agreed.
“And wit,” added the first.
“Knowledge.”
“Grace.”
“Manners.”
“Modesty.”
“Humour.”
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Rose interrupted; but her voice was not without a little amusement. She smiled. At least the two seemed to be getting along, which had to be better than the arguing. Maybe neither of them had to die after all. Though why she connected the two things together like that, Rose didn’t know.
“Excuse me a minute,” the second Doctor said suddenly. He walked away in to one of the back rooms of the TARDIS, and ignored the First Doctor cry out after him.
“You’d better not break my ship!” But he was grinning, too. Then, more quietly to Rose, “Where d’you think he’s gone?”
Rose gave no answer. There was nothing she could say that wouldn’t sound rude, so she kept her mouth shut. The first Doctor hovered around her, bouncing on the balls of his feet like an impatient child. But five minutes later, the second Doctor returned - In the most ridiculous clothes Rose had ever seen.
“Doctor!” she exclaimed with amazement, her eyes widening as she saw him. She stood up. She had never quite imagined him for the black, cotton trouser long, brown tweed-elbowed jacket, neat-yet-scruffy-shirt sort of look. It surprisingly suited him.
“Ah, I did wonder,” said the First, looking at him sceptically.
“Like it?” the Second grinned back, but he was looking at Rose.
“Never thought I’d say this, but... yeah...”
He winked. “Always had a good taste for what suits, y’know.”
“So, where to now? Now that talking’s off the table,” the First said, changing the subject. He began to circle the TARDIS, looking at the controls but not touching them, as if he’d rather move them with his mind. “Feliopolis?”
“Nah,” the Second said, walking over to him, but looking at the controls also. “Too many Cyclonians. I’d rather keep my brains in tact, thank you. Bordras?”
The First looked at him as if he were mad. “You’re joking,” he questioned. “Remember what happened the last time?”
“Oh yeah...” replied the second thoughtfully. “I forgot.”
“You forgot?” The very idea of forgetting something about this odd word seemed to be inconceivable, and the First showed it by throwing his arm out. “You’re telling me the exploding Jaagnus just ‘slipped your mind’?”
“We are talking a while ago.”
“Even so.”
They looked at each other heatedly, as if having a real argument. To Rose it just seemed a jumbled up mess of words. All talk about death and dying for the universe seemed to have gone out the window. Maybe he had been joking? But she’d never known the Doctor to joke about death. Especially not his own. Well, except just before he regenerated. But was that him, or the other him, or what? God, this was confusing. And it didn’t help that both of them were rambling on about... well, she didn’t know what. Places he - they - knew, apparently.
“Why can’t we just... explore here?” she said suddenly. They both turned to look at her, one frowning, the other relatively content.
“It’s deserted, Rose,” the First said, somewhat sombrely. “I made sure the TARDIS found somewhere nice and quiet. Besides, I popped my head out earlier and this place is dustier than your attic.”
“Oi,” she laughed. “Still... it could be fun. Where are we?”
“Who cares?” came an excited cry from the second Doctor. Somehow, he had managed to wander over to the door of the TARDIS and open it. He was surveying the surroundings - miles and miles of strange, blue dust. He turned back to look at the pair. His face was spread in an ecstatic grin, as if someone had told him he could eat ice-cream for every meal for the rest of his life. “This place is great!”
The first Doctor frowned.
“Last I saw, this place was a giant sand-pit. Define ‘great’.”
“Well,” the Second reasoned, “It’s a bit of fun, isn’t it? Besides, where there’s sand, there must be something else. Something to explore. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Last time I heard that,” Rose put in, “the guy in the Dr. Pepper advert fell off his swing-seat.”
Both of them looked at her, with complete and utter bemusement on their faces. Rose shrugged and muttered something about an old advert on TV. The two Doctors exchanged the same looking - ridiculous grinning - both inwardly deciding that she was crazy.
“So... uh... where are we, again?” she asked again. She sometimes wished that they - he - whoever - could just answer her questions simply. But then, that was never so much fun. The first Doctor walked over to a screen, protruding out of the centre controls of the TARDIS. He jabbed a few buttons, but nothing seemed to happen.
“Hrm,” he said thoughtfully after a while. The Second joined him quickly by his side. His face went from pleasant to what seemed to be horror in less than half a second.
“You’re kidding...” he almost whispered. Then, his face lit up again, and he looked directly at Rose. The smile was in his eyes. “Planet Nine!” he exclaimed, as if this gave every answer to her questions. “I can’t believe the TARDIS managed it.” He patted her coaxingly. “Good old girl, really.”
Rose looked utterly confused.
“Planet nine?” she asked feebly. “That’s it?” She was expecting something more exciting or exotic sounding. Mind you, if it was deserted, what could she expect?
“That’s Nine, with a capital ‘N’, you know. Amazing...” the Second said, putting his hands in his pockets and leaning against the controls. The first Doctor, however, seemed to be a little more worried. A strange, grinding sound was beginning to come from outside and he punched at the controls a little faster than was comfortable.
“What you found, Doctor?” Rose asked, recognising the look across his face at once. He didn’t look up.
“We’re stuck,” he said, his voice concentrated. The light from the monitor reflected on his face, giving him an eerie yellow tinge. The second Doctor, who knew exactly what was going on, merely smiled as the First explained.
“What d’you mean... ‘stuck’...?” asked Rose, heading over to the Doctor and looking over his shoulder. She couldn’t make sense of the symbols and flashing lights on the screen. “Like, you can’t time-travel? Can’t leave?”
“I thought you were the one who wanted to stay,” he said almost tersely.
“Yeah, well...”
“And no, I mean actually stuck.” He gestured idly to the door with a wave of his hand. “The TARDIS is sinking, and we’re going down with it.”
It took a second or two to register.
“You’re kidding.”
Rose ran to the door and tugged, but it didn’t do any good. The pressure of the sand around them was keeping it closed tightly.
“Nope, he’s not kidding,” the Second said brightly, lifting himself off the console and wandering over to her. He leant lazily against the door, his eyes darting over her face, and his expression suddenly thoughtful. But before she knew it, he was smiling again. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but paused, his mouth hanging open in mid-air. God he looked like an idiot, Rose thought. A total idiot. A complete and utter nutter.
His eyes widened with mischief.
“We’re going down,” he said. Even if she couldn’t have seen him, his voice alone told her that he was smiling. “Down into the depths of Planet Nine. I’d never have guessed it. Me, the Doctor!”
“But... how?” Rose asked, She swung around, her back leaning against the door.
“Security device,” the First replied, still at the controls. But then he sighed, gave up, and looked at the pair. “They’re not used to intruders here. I was wrong, this whole planet’s supposed to be deserted. Stranded. Alone. But it’s not. There’s something here.”
“Who’s they?” Rose asked dangerously. It was always a dangerous question with the Doctor, but she always had to know.
The first Doctor shrugged.
“Dunno,” he replied oh-so-helpfully. “Whoever owns this planet, I s’pose. The TARDIS wasn’t exactly clear.”
“Why don’t you look again, then? Y’know, check, or something.” It seemed obvious to Rose, but sometimes even the most obvious things completely passed the Doctor by.
“Can’t,” he said, smiling.
“Why?”
This was answered by the second Doctor, who caught the eye of the First. “They’ve shut it down, haven’t they?” he asked excitedly.
The First nodded and the Second beamed.
“Clever little blighters. Didn’t like the foreign system, so they shut it down. Wonderful. Amazing.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘fantastic’,” the first Doctor smiled. But it was a patronising smile, and he obviously wasn’t enjoying this as much as the other. “We’ll have to see what they make of us.”
“Prisoners, probably,” the Second suggested thoughtfully. “Considering there’s nothing else on this planet.”
“What does that mean?”
The second Doctor looked at Rose and, just for a second, a real look of worry passed over his face.
“This planet’s real name,” he said, no longer smiling, “- Aside from the one that has thirty-seven syllables - is roughly translated into Blue Prison. It’s been called Planet Nine because it’s a mystery to what they really do here. Some only say it’s a prison. Others, a great big laboratory where they test everything out about the universe. Fascinating.”
Rose looked sharply at the first Doctor, her stomach clenching.
“You knew exactly where we were, didn’t you Doctor?” she asked, her eyes fixed on him. He had his hands in the pocket of his trusty old leather jacket and he averted her gaze. “You knew it was a prison, and that it wasn’t deserted. You knew happy-go-lucky here would want to explore, too, so you didn’t protest when the TARDIS landed.”
At this, he did look at her, and he looked hurt.
“I only knew after we’d landed, by which time it was too late anyway,” he replied, his voice crisp. “Okay, so I knew we were gonna get caught. Doesn’t mean I wanted to kill anyone in the process.”
The second Doctor sucked his teeth.
“You’re talking about me, aren’t you?” he said innocently. Rose shot him a look that told him to be quiet, but he didn’t bite. “No, honestly, I don’t mind,” he continued, beginning to wander the room again. Rose had a feeling he would have a habit of doing that. “I know how the code works. I’m not daft.” He was looking at and talking to the first Doctor now, who at least had the courtesy to look him back in the eye. “It’s wrong, both of us being here. Not following the laws of time. And one of us is going to have to deal with the consequences.”
The First shrugged, and Rose gave him an appalling look. How could he be so casual? But at the same time, she couldn’t say anything about it herself; there was nothing to say.
“But until then,” the second Doctor continued brightly, stepping over between his two companions. He laid a hand on the other Doctor’s shoulder, and put his other arm around Rose. He looked forward from one to the other, grinning. “What d’you say, Doc? Rose? One last run? Before it’s all over?”
The first Doctor sniffed, and raised both his eyebrows. “You know, I hate that name as much as you do.”
Rose and the Second laughed together, making the First bristle slightly. But then he relaxed, and gave a chuckle. He looked behind the second Doctor towards Rose, who caught his eye.
“One more, then?” he asked cheerily. She beamed at him.
“G’wan then.”
He tipped his head to her, smiling and accepting her answer. The three of them made their way to the door, where all the second Doctor had to do was tug lightly on the door. It folded open, giving them a wonderful view of what lay ahead. Apparently, they had stopped moving.
“Oh, yeah,” the Second chuckled brightly, stepping out into the open. “Bring it on.”
“Idiot,” laughed Rose as his head turned from side to side taking in the surroundings. She began to leave the TARDIS, but suddenly stopped and turned back. “You comin’, Doctor?”
The faintest traces of a smile began and his mouth and then, suddenly, it cracked into a wide-open grin, his face lit up by the entire experience.
This, he decided as he trotted out of the TARDIS, Rose following, was going to be the most fun he had had in centuries.
-oOo-
Going out without a plan had been a mistake. Especially with two Doctors rather than one. When there was just one, it was fine. He would rush in with some cock-and-bull story which he had made up on the spot, and it - usually - always worked. On the rare occasions that it didn’t, he had always thought of an escape plan. Usually it involved legging it.
But now there were two of them, each gallivanting off with their own ideas and each eccentric enough to blow each other’s cover. Not, as it turned out, that it mattered.
The psychic paper had failed (“Of course,” the second Doctor had realised with interest. “They’re machine. They don’t recognise the shift the neurological atomic structure,”) as had the ‘Oh, we’re just passing through, no need to worry’ approach.
They had been brought down in to the depths of the planet by a lift mechanism and the TARDIS’ doors had opened into a large, metallic room, with a corridor leading away from it on the far side. The corridor turned a corner after only a few metres, so it was impossible to see just where it led. On the silvery walls were orange-yellow lights resting in crevices; but other than that, the walls were bare. The floor was black-and-white tiled, but smooth, as if it had been laid down in one, big sheet. The air that Rose breathed in felt clean and fresh, as if she could live off only air for all eternity. It was enough to make her go slightly giddy.
The first sign of life - well, artificial intelligence as it turned out, but near enough - was a spider-like device, which fell gracefully from the ceiling on a thick, metal cord. Its red eye focused on the unlikely trio, and the machine whirred slightly as it did so. The second Doctor had stepped up and waved the psychic paper guardedly around with some haphazard explanation, but this had obviously been a waste of time as, when he attempted to step past the device and in to the corridor, he was thrown backwards by some sort of invisible force-field. The metal spider didn’t seem to react at all: it just turned to look at each of them, swinging on the cord, until it came to a stop on Rose and focused closer. She stepped back, a little unnerved.
“What... what is that?” she asked, not taking her eyes off it.
“It’s a camera,” replied the First, now taking his own step in front of the machine, putting himself between it and Rose as he did so. He put his face to the lens and grinned. “Hello,” he said brightly, his face relaxing. “I’m the Doctor. I know you can see me and hear me, so watch and listen. We’re here to check your planet out, and we want a word with you.”
The camera turned to look at the second Doctor, who was standing a little way back, his hands hiding away in his pockets. Again, the camera didn’t react, just whirred and clicked, and brought itself up a little so that it could focus on Rose again.
“It’s looking right at me,” she said, trying to steady her breathing.
“Oh, so it is,” said the Second helpfully, casting a wary look up at it. Then he caught her eye and grinned. “Maybe it wants to ‘experiment’.”
“It’s not funny,” she said, her voice wavering. The last time something had looked at her like that, she had been trapped with a Dalek in Van Statten’s Laboratory; not something she wanted to repeat any time soon.
“You’re perfectly safe, Rose,” the second Doctor assured, his voice serious.
“Why’s that? ‘Cause I’m with you?”
“No,” he replied, as if the very idea was too shocking to even contemplate. “Because it’s rumoured this planet loves women. Especially human women.”
Rose did a double take. “You what?”
“You heard him,” came the soft Northern accent of the first Doctor. He was still facing the spider-camera and reached up to tap at it gently. It sounded hollow. “And this thing’s a pile of rubbish. Just swings and hums a bit. Not even worth the metal it’s made of.”
“Decoy?” asked the Second, walking next to him and taking a similar interest.
“Nah,” disagreed the First. “More like a distraction. But what for?”
The answer came from Rose.
“Doctor!” she cried suddenly, her voice panicked. Both of them turned, but didn’t need to ask what she was calling them about. While they had been - as the First had suggested - distracted by the supposed camera, the real threat had made itself present. The odd, plain walls behind them had silently disappeared. In their place was a sheet of energy, colourless, but very obviously there. It looked like heat rising up off the dirty, dusty ground, like a heat wave. Wait... dirty? Dusty? Rose saw now that the floor had been pulled out from underneath them, and they were actually standing one what seemed to be a plastic sheet. The real floor showed below. Dirt. Like Earth dirt.
What was more worrying, though, was the TARDIS. A sheet of energy had come up behind all three of them, separating them from the helpful blue box. And they’d been stupid enough to leave the door wide open. Rose could hear the Doctor’s - the first Doctor’s - voice in her head, even though he never said a word, “Were you born in a barn, Rose, or what?”
Rule number one of being last out of the TARDIS: always close the door.
And now, of course, small worm-like things with hundreds of tiny legs (the worms must have been about the size of a hamster) were beginning to make their way interestedly towards the TARDIS. There must have been hundreds of them.
If those things get near my bed, Rose thought bitterly, I swear, I’ll never sleep again.
It should have been the last of her worries, but she figured that as long as she had someone nice, cosy and safe to come back to, then everything would always be all right. Stupid, she knew, but it made a certain kind of sense; the sort of sense the Doctor might make.
The second Doctor was tapping at his jacket frantically and muttering something that sounded like, “Where the hell did I leave that screwdriver,” but the First beat him to it, stepped as close to the energy field as he dared and fired up the sonic screwdriver, all in one, swift motion. He aimed it at the worm things trying to get in to the TARDIS. They reared backwards like horses and a deafening, screeching painful sound filled the air as their cry echoed around the cavern they were now stood in. It was so unbearable that Rose clapped her hands to her ears.
“Get away from the TARDIS!” the first Doctor shouted furiously above the din. He was answered almost instantly by a new, foreign voice that came from everywhere and nowhere. It was a rasping, unfriendly voice and it sounded something like an airport intercom. It also sounded like it was laughing.
“You are not the ones who make the rules here, Time Lord,” it mocked. The screwdriver clicked off and the comforting blue light died. The worms shook themselves, like dogs that have just run back from the sea, and continued their work with the TARDIS, some entering it through the open door, some climbing up the outside. The worms on the outside suddenly shot out a protruding stinger - at least, Rose assumed it was a stinger - and began tapping rapidly at the TARDIS repeatedly, like a woodpecker. Like a mass of woodpeckers.
“What did you do that for?” she hissed to the first Doctor, indicating the deactivated screwdriver.
“I didn’t,” he replied darkly, his eyes looking longingly at his abused TARDIS. “They did.”
“What’re they doing to the TARDIS?” Rose asked in shock, her eyes wide.
“Testing it,” said the second Doctor. He was stood on the other side of her, his eyes fixed firmly on the ship. His home. He sighed, but his face showed no emotion. “They’re testing it for weaknesses so they can either scrap it or use the material for something useful.”
“Oh,” Rose said dejectedly. Each of the Doctors was touched to hear mourn in her voice. “What can we do?”
“Nothing,” admitted the First wearily. “Unless you fancy getting fried going through this energy field.”
"Enough talk," boomed the rasping voice which had spoken earlier. Rose looked about herself, as if expecting to see it coming from somewhere. But there was no clue. The room they had arrive in had now completely disappeared. Ahead of each of each of the heat-wave-energy-walls was the outsretch of a huge, underground cavern. The worms that were covering the TARDIS were of many, running along and up the walls, running here, running there, all dashing about doing something terribly important. None of them were really concentrating on the three behind the invisible cage. Rose wondered if they were intelligent at all - they reminded something of giant ants, except... well, worms. And ants couldn't think. Not really.
The last wall with the corridor had disappeared to reveal only a dirt wall, and the spider-device had disappeared into the dusty ceiling. It was all so strange, so unfamiliar. The three of them were trapped in a hazy cage, and it was all they could do to watch the TARDIS be swarmed over by a bunch of ant-worms.
The rasping voice spoke again. "You are all prisoners of the Galactic Planet Delta Nine, quadron six-five-seven-two-three... Oh, I really can't be bothered. Welcome to your slow death. We will send someone to convene with you shortly."
The voice faded away again, an then there was silence. It was weird - Rose could see everything that was going on beyond the energy wall, but she couldn't hear anything. All she could hear was her own, shuddered breathing, and maybe even one or two breaths from the Doctors. No noise of outside was getting to them.
"So, what's the plan?" Rose asked, her head turning left and right to look at what was going on around them.
"Survive, for the moment," the First replied, still looking at the TARDIS. The lift mechanism it had been used to be lowered into the cavern was, he could see, on wheels. Wheels which they were now using to wheel the damned thing away. Oh, bloody fantastic.
"Talk to me," said a voice softly at his side. He jumped, looked at Rose, then smiled. But then he looked past her, at the second Doctor, who was standing dangerously close to where two of the walls met.
"Not likely to find anything there, mate," he said to him, and the Second turned. "You know as well as I do about the rumours."
The other laughed. "No, you're right. But I can't sit around and wait for them to start experimenting on us."
"Me neither," the First agreed brightly. "Maybe we should look at the facts."
"The TARDIS is out of our hands," the Second said, counting out all the facts on his fingers with his other hand. "The sonic screwdriver has been deactivated. We're trapped in an energy prison with no way out. I'm still not fully recovered from regeneration - " he ignored the look given to him by the First and kept talking - "There's too much mystery about this planet to even come up with a reason. And finally, we're probably the most interesting, clever things here. So we should be able to come up with something."
"Hrm," the first Doctor said thoughtfully, his brow furrowing. "Give me a minute on that."
Rose felt very much like a third wheel. Here were these two clever, witty, sharp and intelligent men, each matching each other's thinking abilities. They could chat about the stars and the universe for hours on end; about planets they'd visited, and what the best course of action would be and how to get out of a sticky situation. She couldn't do any of that. She could only do what she was told, and even that was pushing it sometimes. And for some reason, she was the one who felt guilty about the lot of them being in this mess. It was, after all, her who had suggest they should explore, wasn't it? Maybe if she'd just let the Doctor get on with it, they would be half way around the galaxy by now, instead of stuck underground waiting until they were eaten, or experimented on, or questioned, or tortured. Or all of the above. She shuddered.
The second Doctor's head snapped up mid sentence, as if he were tuned in to exactly how Rose was feeling. His brown eyes became deep with worry, and his shoulders relaxed. He walked over to her and touched her gently on the arm. She looked up at him.
"Rose?" he asked softly, his eyes searching hers. She had never heard him speak like that before. He was always such a joker.
"I..." she began, looking away and down at the floor. "This is all my fault, Doctor. If I hadn't have said we should explore, you'd have got us out. If I had listened to you more... if I hadn't have awoken the TARDIS like I did, taken it into me..."
Her voice was broken now, probably with the tears that had found their way into her eyes, and the second Doctor recognised in her what he had seen in her earlier. That she wasn't ready for all of this. And he could have kicked himself.
He pulled her to him, his long coat wrapping around her. He laid his head gently on hears.
"Shhh," he soothed. "None of this is anyone's fault. Nobody could have known what was down here. Besides, it's an adventure, isn't it? Our first, I believe."
She looked up at him, not quite sure how she'd managed to get into his arms or why she didn't want to leave. He tried not to smile as he saw her mascara was smudged.
"But..." she said, her voice still faulty. "You're so..."
"Different?" he suggested, smiling softly. She nodded. He let go of his grip on her and she stood on her own, a little calmed. She gulped down the lump in her throat and looked at the first Doctor. He had his back towards them and his head, she thought, was down a little. Perhaps he was trying to give them some privacy, even though it was perfectly easy to hear every word they said. The second Doctor touched her arm lightly, and she looked back. His eyes were smiling.
"And if you hadn't've taken the TARDIS inside you and come back for me," he said reassuringly, not taking his eyes off her for a minute, "Then I'd be dead. And so would the Earth. The entire world, Rose. You saved it. It that one stupid moment when you gave it all up for me, you saved the world you loved."
She breathed away a hiccup. It hadn't been real crying, she told herself. Not really. Just a momentary lapse of strength. That was it.
Rose felt something strange come over her, as if she was picking up on a strange radio wave, or frequency. It hit her hard, and she suddenly gasped and looked around to the first Doctor, who hadn't moved. She was speaking to the Second, but she kept her eyes on the First.
"The past won't help us now," she said slowly. "We have to think for ourselves."
"Two Time Lords born of the same brain, and a higher-than-average-intelligence humanoid," said the First suddenly, turning around to the both of them. He was grinning from ear to ear (which, Rose reckoned, was quite an achievement). "Easy peasy."
"How'd you figure?" Roe wondered aloud.
"Well, they said they'll be sending someone to 'convene' with us soon," he began, pacing, his brain working fast. "Obviously they think we're stupid, otherwise they wouldn't have kept us together in the same cell. So maybe we should act stupid."
"Eh?" the second Doctor asked, not quite catching on. They shared a look.
"What have I always told you, Rose?" the First said, looking around to his second companion, but somehow still keeping an eye on the other. She searched her brain.
"That to get to the big bad, you gotta go through the motions?"
His face lit up, his blue eyes sparkling.
"Exactly. So you have been listening."
"S'all I can do not to, Doctor, the way you talk," she grinned.
"Careful, or I'll turn on you," he laughed. Then he looked to his other companion, the regeneration of himself. "Largest rumour of this planet," he demanded, as if he were testing his other self.
"That they love women," the Second said simply. "I said that before. They think women are the answer to everything."
Both of them ignored Rose's cry of shocked dismay and demands for more answers.
"Precisely. And the best way to fool an alien planet..."
"Oh, no," the Second cut in, shaking his head. "No way. That was bad enough on Hecatoid. I swore, I'm never again dressing up like a wo-" He stopped himself just in time, and coughed. But Rose had caught on.
"Like a what, Doctor?" she asked, eyeing him innocently. He cleared his throat.
"Nothing," he replied earnestly, his cheeks burning like a bonfire on November the 5th.
"No, that's not what I was getting at," the First continued, though his cheeks had also flared. "Just stick the two together."
"Of course!" the second Doctor suddenly realised, and he swung to Rose, his face grinning. "Rose! You know you've always loved me," he winked jokingly. "Do us a favour."
"I don't get it," she said simply, looking from one to the other with indignation.
"Well, it's simple," the first Doctor explained. "This planet thinks that the females of every race are the most intelligent, funny, clever, beautiful things they've ever seen. They love 'em."
"- Bit like Earth, then," Rose muttered. The second Doctor laughed.
"- The men here are probably like an ant colony," the First continued, as if he had not been interrupted. "You know, all soldiers and workers. Not the thinkers. So when the chance first arrives, Rose, you have to be our leader. Or at least play pretend. Treat us with the same contempt and annoyance as you'd treat an annoying puppy that follows you around. They'll listen to you, then, and we might have a chance."
She looked from one to the other expectant faces and burst out laughing, her blonde hair bouncing all over the place as a consequence. When she finally came up for air, with tears in her eyes, the two Doctors were looking at each other with dismay.
"I don't think she likes it," the First said, but his voice hadn't quite reached surprised.
"Are you kidding? 'Course she does," countered the Second, watching her every movement with his eyes. "She just thinks we're mad."
"Got it in one, Doctor," Rose choked, still laughing. "But, I s'pose I always have. And it'd never work. I'm crap at actin'. Ask the school drama department. G'wan, ask them why people actually 'boo'd the last production they put on."
"It's our only chance," sang the first Doctor, and his voice was not without glee.
"In your hands," agreed the Second modestly.
"We'll just be quiet and you tell us what to do."
"This is..." Rose laughed, trying to find a word that would describe the situation best. Bizarre. Impossible. Incredible. "Never gonna work," she finished finally.
The second Doctor looked at her in mock horror.
"Faith, Rose!" he said, jumping towards her, grabbing her hands and twirling her around as if there were music. "You have to have faith!"
"Dancing lessons, too, by the look of it," commented the first Doctor with a smile.
"And I suppose you think your dancing is just perfect, don't you Doctor?" she asked back, her voice laced in sarcasm. Actually, he did rather. But he'd never let on.
"C'mon," he said suddenly, looking out past the energy field. "Give it up, you two. It's showtime."
Snaking through the crowds of ant-worms was coming something that looked very human-like. Two arms, legs, hands, feet, eyes, ears, and all where they should be. Except for one obvious difference, which Rose knew she would have to try very hard to ignore.
In his hand was, what Rose would have described as, a futuristic space gun. The second Doctor had let her go, by this point, and the three of them were watching and waiting for the oncoming storm.
"He's orange," she whispered harshly, though not entire sure to whom she was talking. "Like - bright orange."
"So?" demanded the Second incredulously. "Something wrong with orange?"
"No," Rose corrected quickly as she watched him get closer and closer to the cage. "It's just... I didn't expect it."
"Not sure what you did expect," muttered the second Doctor gruffly in reply.
"All right," the First said, his eyes and ears alert. The orange man was almost at the cage "This is it. Places, everyone."
Great, Rose thought as he produced something that looked like a credit card, but larger, and began to wave it in front of to energy wall. The wall shook intensely for a second, and then disappeared. There was now nothing separating them. The world's most farfetched plan - maybe even the universe's - and nothing but too cocky aliens and a fairly sensible human to act it out. What on Earth could go wrong?
End this Part
I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X |