Gift for Septembers_coda
Title: Hunters in Space
Author: frenchroast
Recipient: septembers_coda
Fandom: Supernatural; Firefly
Characters/Pairing: Sam, Dean, Zoe, Wash, Mal, Simon, Inara, Jayne
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2150
Summary: Sam & Dean find their Serenity, so to speak
Author's Note: I am so sorry I'm over two days late with this! But I really hope that you like it--I was so excited when I saw your prompt and "Supernatural crossed with any of my fandoms" as part of it. For now, consider this complete, but I'm tempted to go back and write more in this "world", so there might be a sequel or something in the future.
Link to AO3 story
When they finally returned to the motel that night, Dean collapsed onto his bed. It wasn’t as good as the mattress he had back in his room-they didn’t have memory foam in these places, not unless you counted the cigarette burns on the comforter, which Dean didn’t. Sam opted for the shower-not so much opted as REALLY needed on, since he’d wound up on the messier side of the night’s monster slaying.
Why, Sam wondered as he watched the violet gloop ooze down and off his leg, mingling with the water before sinking into the drain, did minor gods have to explode like that? And why was it only some of them and not all of them? Was there some reason for the color? And would it come out of his shirt? Did Clorox work on god-stains?
Eventually, Sam got all the god-glop washed away and toweled off and crawled into bed. Dean was already sound asleep, which was…unusual for him these days, but why question a good thing? They so rarely got a decent night’s sleep these days, and Sam could feel the need for it himself. He reached over to switch off the bedside lamp.
---------------
When Sam opened his eyes, he was shocked to see a woman in the bed next to him. A very nice-looking woman. She had dark curls and full lips and now that he looked around and thought about it, he was not in the motel anymore.
“Dean? Where are you?” Sam whispered as he tried to orient himself. “Cas, is this you? Did you do this?”
The woman stirred in the bed. Sam looked at her, and had a horrible thought.
“…Dean? That’s not you, is it?”
The woman opened her eyes, and before Sam had time to react, she had a gun-a strange-looking gun-leveled at his face.
“You wanna tell me just who the hell you are and what you’re doing in my bunk immediately, or I’ll be cleaning the insides of your brain pan off my sheets.”
Sam held up his hands.
“I’m Sam Winchester and I have no idea how I got here. When I went to sleep, I was in a motel room. I don’t even know where here is, lady.”
“Lady?” The woman raised an eyebrow. “That’s a little hard to swallow, Sam.” She pushed a small button on a box sitting above the bed and held it down, but kept her gun trained on Sam with her other hand. “Captain, we have a stowaway just turned up in my bunk that I-“
“Where?” a started voice shrieked.
“Calm down Wash, I’m fine. Captain, can I get some help down here?”
---------------
Dean woke up facing a wall of smooth metal. The room looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place it. Not yet, which he figured was a good thing; he’d remember if it was some place really bad. It definitely wasn’t the motel, he knew that. And where the hell was Sammie?
Thank God (Cas?) he’d fallen asleep in his clothes. He checked his pocket. Good, he still had the knife on him. Dean sat up slowly, then crept over to the door. To Dean’s surprise, it swung open. Either his jailers sucked, or this was some kind of game. Well, he could play whatever game they put in front of him. First, he was going to find Sam, and then they could figure out what was going on.
Dean stepped out into the hallway, simultaneously glad and remorseful that he’d taken his shoes off before going to sleep. Sock feet were quieter, but the metal floors were COLD.
---------------
Three men stared down at Sam, as well as another woman. Two of the men had brown hair, but one had fire red hair and appeared extra agitated. His voice matched the shriek, so Sam figured he was Wash, and one of the others was the Captain. The other woman had long, dark hair, and wore an outfit that was less utilitarian than the others’.
Wash started firing questions.
“Who are you? What are you doing here with my wife? If you laid a finger on Zoe you’re-“
The first woman-his wife, named Zoe, apparently-shot Wash a look. He calmed down a little.
“If you laid a finger on Zoe,” he continued, “you’re lucky she didn’t break you in two!”
“I don’t doubt it,” Sam said, trying to pacify the guy, and still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. “Like I told-Zoe, is it?” he asked. She nodded. “I’m Sam. I don’t know how I ended up in here. I just fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was here.”
One of the other men spoke up. “Sam, you have to know how gorram crazy that sounds. People don’t just close their eyelids in one spot and wake up on a space ship. Not even space ships just a few hours out from touching down planetside.”
Sam blinked. Space ships? Okay, he said to himself. They’re probably not demons. Crazy, yes. Maybe some kind of djinn-related trap? Or had he somehow ingested some of that glop, and this was a side-effect?
“Thinkin’ awful hard there, Sam, aren’t ya?”
“Uh, no. I just…I really have no idea how I got here.”
Now the other brown haired men spoke up. “It’s possible it’s the Alliance. Maybe they did some kind of memory wipe.”
The other guy turned to him, a look of surprise mingled with disgust. “Can they do that?”
He shrugged. “After seeing what they’ve done to my sister…” he trailed off. “If I could get him in the infirmary, I could run some tests. Wouldn’t take long.”
“Tests?”
“Or we could kill him,” Zoe’s husband suggested.
“Tests are good,” Sam said. “I’m okay with tests.”
“Good. Zoe?”
“Yes, Captain?” Ah! So the first guy was the captain of this “space ship.” Sam made a mental note.
“Get Sam ready for transport to the infirmary.”
And that’s when Zoe hit Sam over the head with the end of her gun and knocked him out.
“Shiny,” Wash said with a smile.
---------------
Dean continued to feel like he was in an oddly recognizable place as he made his way around the building. It was when he walked out into the cargo bay that Dean realized why he had such a strong feeling of déjà vu, and that he wasn’t in a building after all.
This was Serenity. The spaceship from Firefly. He and Ben had watched the eleven episodes of that show over and over when he lived with Lisa. Ben liked the spaceships, Dean liked the cowboy stuff.
How was he on the gorram ship from Firefly? Was this the set? Surely not. “What the hell?” Dean asked the empty cargo bay. “What is happening here?” Suddenly, he heard a commotion coming from the other end of the ship. People were approaching. Dean needed to hide and figure this out before doing anything. This had to be some kind of messed up trap. He darted behind some equipment sitting in front of the infirmary. A woman ran into it, and then some men carrying Sammie entered the infirmary after her. No. Wait.
“Holy go se,” Dean whispered to himself. Inara had run into the infirmary. Captain Mal Reynolds and Wash were carrying Sammie. Behind them were Simon. And Zoe.
Zoe was Dean’s favorite character, 100% bad ass (Mal was a close second, but he wasn’t hot). But Dean needed to focus. They had Sam. Sam in his night shirt and boxers, which was kind of hilarious. Had Sammie ever even watched the awesomeness that was Firefly?
Oh crap, they probably thought Sammie was an Alliance spy or something, Dean realized. He needed a plan. Fast.
---------------
“His scans seem normal, except for…”
“Except for what, Doc?”
The doctor frowned. Sam frowned too; his head smarted where Zoe had whacked him with her gun.
“He’s got no immunity to anything we vaccinate for.”
“Not everyone can get those shots. Alliance barely ships out enough per planet when they’re feeling kindly toward folk,” the captain said.
“True, but if he were Alliance, he’d have them. They don’t waste money on agents just to let them die of goatpoxy.”
Zoe shrugged. “Okay, so he’s working for someone else.”
“Let my brother go!” came a shout from outside.
The captain glanced at the doctor. “Simon, either your sister’s voice has deepened considerable since we last spoke, or we have another stowaway on this ship.” He made his way to the door, gun drawn. Before he could open it, Dean kicked it open. He had another man in tow, Dean’s hunting knife pressed against the man’s throat. The man wore a rather cunning orange hat.
“Jayne?” the captain asked in disbelief.
“He caught me by surprise, in the mess.”
“Damn near choked on his candied yams,” Dean added, clearly feeling proud of himself. Sam could not fathom why.
“Jayne! Those were for Wash’s party!”
“I didn’t know?” he said, sounding like he very much did know.
The captain looked at Dean. “I’m not sure we care about him now, seeing as he’s selfishly helped himself to the party food, but care to enlighten us as to your demands?”
“And maybe your name?” the doctor suggested.
Dean grinned. Sam was pretty sure he had never seen Dean grin so widely.
“Dean Winchester. That there on the table in his night clothes is my brother, Sam Winchester. I’m willing to bet that Sammie here has no clue where we are, but I do. I have no idea how we got here, but I know where here is. We’re on Serenity. You’re Captain Mal Reynolds, that’s Zoe, and Simon, and Inara, and Wash. This here is the Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne. Kaylee’s probably still in the engine room, I’m sure Simon’s sister River is off doing something weird or insanely smart somewhere.
“How do you know about River?!” Simon asked, swiftly converting from his relatively calm doctor demeanor into a mix of anger and defiance. “What did you tell him, Jayne?”
“I swear I said nothing, Doc! I wouldn’t! Not after…”
Dean waved his free hand. “Everything’s shiny, Simon. Jayne didn’t tell me anything about anyone. Look, I know this is weird. It’s right up there with some of the weirdest crap I’ve encountered, and I know weird. But I know who you are because you’re part of a TV show I used to watch.”
“A…what?” Every other person in the room looked confused (Sam slightly less so).
“…I say we stop trying to figure out who they are, and just dump them out the airlock,” Wash suggested.
“Damn, Wash, I thought you were the fun one,” Dean said. “You know, with the dinosaurs and everything.”
“Good idea, hon.” Zoe raised her gun, aimed, and then everyone froze, except for Sam and Dean.
“Okay, okay, this is partly my fault for thinking they’d get along with you,” Gabriel said as he stepped out from behind Zoe.
“Dammit, I should’ve known.”
The Trickster smirked. “Yeah, you should’ve. Especially you, Dean. Though you’re what threw the kink into my plan. Never thought the Winchesters had time, let alone a hard-on for a defunct Fox TV sci-fi show, but that’s my bad. And I can’t blame you. It’s a great show. It had such potential.”
Dean couldn’t help but nod. It had been such a good show.
“So…what was this for?” Sam asked.
Gabriel shrugged. “I always wanted another episode. And I was thinking about it, and it occurred to me, you two did pretty well a few years ago when I threw you into my own personal TV box. Guess I should’ve done it more like that, though. Make you part of the world, not just shoehorn you in the way I did here. But I’m getting sloppier in my old age.”
“You’re a dick,” Dean said. “Playing with us like that? They were going to shoot us!”
“Oh, come on, Dean,” the Trickster shot back. “You have to admit it, you had fun. Sam, maybe not so much, but you had fun. You know it.”
Dean looked around the infirmary. “Maybe.”
“I’ve got an idea. How about we try this again, only I’ll fix it so you fit in this time?”
“No-“ they both shouted, but it was useless. Everyone unfroze, but the weapons were no longer drawn, and Wash was no longer in the infirmary; Dean assumed he was now at the helm.
“Dean, it’s okay. Sam just needed a vaccination before we go planetside,” Simon explained.
“I’m interested to see just what sort of job Badger has for us this time,” Zoe said.
“Something about a farm plagued by monsters of some sort,” Mal said. “Perfect opportunity for our two new crew members to dazzle us their hunting skills.”
Author: frenchroast
Recipient: septembers_coda
Fandom: Supernatural; Firefly
Characters/Pairing: Sam, Dean, Zoe, Wash, Mal, Simon, Inara, Jayne
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2150
Summary: Sam & Dean find their Serenity, so to speak
Author's Note: I am so sorry I'm over two days late with this! But I really hope that you like it--I was so excited when I saw your prompt and "Supernatural crossed with any of my fandoms" as part of it. For now, consider this complete, but I'm tempted to go back and write more in this "world", so there might be a sequel or something in the future.
Link to AO3 story
When they finally returned to the motel that night, Dean collapsed onto his bed. It wasn’t as good as the mattress he had back in his room-they didn’t have memory foam in these places, not unless you counted the cigarette burns on the comforter, which Dean didn’t. Sam opted for the shower-not so much opted as REALLY needed on, since he’d wound up on the messier side of the night’s monster slaying.
Why, Sam wondered as he watched the violet gloop ooze down and off his leg, mingling with the water before sinking into the drain, did minor gods have to explode like that? And why was it only some of them and not all of them? Was there some reason for the color? And would it come out of his shirt? Did Clorox work on god-stains?
Eventually, Sam got all the god-glop washed away and toweled off and crawled into bed. Dean was already sound asleep, which was…unusual for him these days, but why question a good thing? They so rarely got a decent night’s sleep these days, and Sam could feel the need for it himself. He reached over to switch off the bedside lamp.
---------------
When Sam opened his eyes, he was shocked to see a woman in the bed next to him. A very nice-looking woman. She had dark curls and full lips and now that he looked around and thought about it, he was not in the motel anymore.
“Dean? Where are you?” Sam whispered as he tried to orient himself. “Cas, is this you? Did you do this?”
The woman stirred in the bed. Sam looked at her, and had a horrible thought.
“…Dean? That’s not you, is it?”
The woman opened her eyes, and before Sam had time to react, she had a gun-a strange-looking gun-leveled at his face.
“You wanna tell me just who the hell you are and what you’re doing in my bunk immediately, or I’ll be cleaning the insides of your brain pan off my sheets.”
Sam held up his hands.
“I’m Sam Winchester and I have no idea how I got here. When I went to sleep, I was in a motel room. I don’t even know where here is, lady.”
“Lady?” The woman raised an eyebrow. “That’s a little hard to swallow, Sam.” She pushed a small button on a box sitting above the bed and held it down, but kept her gun trained on Sam with her other hand. “Captain, we have a stowaway just turned up in my bunk that I-“
“Where?” a started voice shrieked.
“Calm down Wash, I’m fine. Captain, can I get some help down here?”
---------------
Dean woke up facing a wall of smooth metal. The room looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place it. Not yet, which he figured was a good thing; he’d remember if it was some place really bad. It definitely wasn’t the motel, he knew that. And where the hell was Sammie?
Thank God (Cas?) he’d fallen asleep in his clothes. He checked his pocket. Good, he still had the knife on him. Dean sat up slowly, then crept over to the door. To Dean’s surprise, it swung open. Either his jailers sucked, or this was some kind of game. Well, he could play whatever game they put in front of him. First, he was going to find Sam, and then they could figure out what was going on.
Dean stepped out into the hallway, simultaneously glad and remorseful that he’d taken his shoes off before going to sleep. Sock feet were quieter, but the metal floors were COLD.
---------------
Three men stared down at Sam, as well as another woman. Two of the men had brown hair, but one had fire red hair and appeared extra agitated. His voice matched the shriek, so Sam figured he was Wash, and one of the others was the Captain. The other woman had long, dark hair, and wore an outfit that was less utilitarian than the others’.
Wash started firing questions.
“Who are you? What are you doing here with my wife? If you laid a finger on Zoe you’re-“
The first woman-his wife, named Zoe, apparently-shot Wash a look. He calmed down a little.
“If you laid a finger on Zoe,” he continued, “you’re lucky she didn’t break you in two!”
“I don’t doubt it,” Sam said, trying to pacify the guy, and still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. “Like I told-Zoe, is it?” he asked. She nodded. “I’m Sam. I don’t know how I ended up in here. I just fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was here.”
One of the other men spoke up. “Sam, you have to know how gorram crazy that sounds. People don’t just close their eyelids in one spot and wake up on a space ship. Not even space ships just a few hours out from touching down planetside.”
Sam blinked. Space ships? Okay, he said to himself. They’re probably not demons. Crazy, yes. Maybe some kind of djinn-related trap? Or had he somehow ingested some of that glop, and this was a side-effect?
“Thinkin’ awful hard there, Sam, aren’t ya?”
“Uh, no. I just…I really have no idea how I got here.”
Now the other brown haired men spoke up. “It’s possible it’s the Alliance. Maybe they did some kind of memory wipe.”
The other guy turned to him, a look of surprise mingled with disgust. “Can they do that?”
He shrugged. “After seeing what they’ve done to my sister…” he trailed off. “If I could get him in the infirmary, I could run some tests. Wouldn’t take long.”
“Tests?”
“Or we could kill him,” Zoe’s husband suggested.
“Tests are good,” Sam said. “I’m okay with tests.”
“Good. Zoe?”
“Yes, Captain?” Ah! So the first guy was the captain of this “space ship.” Sam made a mental note.
“Get Sam ready for transport to the infirmary.”
And that’s when Zoe hit Sam over the head with the end of her gun and knocked him out.
“Shiny,” Wash said with a smile.
---------------
Dean continued to feel like he was in an oddly recognizable place as he made his way around the building. It was when he walked out into the cargo bay that Dean realized why he had such a strong feeling of déjà vu, and that he wasn’t in a building after all.
This was Serenity. The spaceship from Firefly. He and Ben had watched the eleven episodes of that show over and over when he lived with Lisa. Ben liked the spaceships, Dean liked the cowboy stuff.
How was he on the gorram ship from Firefly? Was this the set? Surely not. “What the hell?” Dean asked the empty cargo bay. “What is happening here?” Suddenly, he heard a commotion coming from the other end of the ship. People were approaching. Dean needed to hide and figure this out before doing anything. This had to be some kind of messed up trap. He darted behind some equipment sitting in front of the infirmary. A woman ran into it, and then some men carrying Sammie entered the infirmary after her. No. Wait.
“Holy go se,” Dean whispered to himself. Inara had run into the infirmary. Captain Mal Reynolds and Wash were carrying Sammie. Behind them were Simon. And Zoe.
Zoe was Dean’s favorite character, 100% bad ass (Mal was a close second, but he wasn’t hot). But Dean needed to focus. They had Sam. Sam in his night shirt and boxers, which was kind of hilarious. Had Sammie ever even watched the awesomeness that was Firefly?
Oh crap, they probably thought Sammie was an Alliance spy or something, Dean realized. He needed a plan. Fast.
---------------
“His scans seem normal, except for…”
“Except for what, Doc?”
The doctor frowned. Sam frowned too; his head smarted where Zoe had whacked him with her gun.
“He’s got no immunity to anything we vaccinate for.”
“Not everyone can get those shots. Alliance barely ships out enough per planet when they’re feeling kindly toward folk,” the captain said.
“True, but if he were Alliance, he’d have them. They don’t waste money on agents just to let them die of goatpoxy.”
Zoe shrugged. “Okay, so he’s working for someone else.”
“Let my brother go!” came a shout from outside.
The captain glanced at the doctor. “Simon, either your sister’s voice has deepened considerable since we last spoke, or we have another stowaway on this ship.” He made his way to the door, gun drawn. Before he could open it, Dean kicked it open. He had another man in tow, Dean’s hunting knife pressed against the man’s throat. The man wore a rather cunning orange hat.
“Jayne?” the captain asked in disbelief.
“He caught me by surprise, in the mess.”
“Damn near choked on his candied yams,” Dean added, clearly feeling proud of himself. Sam could not fathom why.
“Jayne! Those were for Wash’s party!”
“I didn’t know?” he said, sounding like he very much did know.
The captain looked at Dean. “I’m not sure we care about him now, seeing as he’s selfishly helped himself to the party food, but care to enlighten us as to your demands?”
“And maybe your name?” the doctor suggested.
Dean grinned. Sam was pretty sure he had never seen Dean grin so widely.
“Dean Winchester. That there on the table in his night clothes is my brother, Sam Winchester. I’m willing to bet that Sammie here has no clue where we are, but I do. I have no idea how we got here, but I know where here is. We’re on Serenity. You’re Captain Mal Reynolds, that’s Zoe, and Simon, and Inara, and Wash. This here is the Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne. Kaylee’s probably still in the engine room, I’m sure Simon’s sister River is off doing something weird or insanely smart somewhere.
“How do you know about River?!” Simon asked, swiftly converting from his relatively calm doctor demeanor into a mix of anger and defiance. “What did you tell him, Jayne?”
“I swear I said nothing, Doc! I wouldn’t! Not after…”
Dean waved his free hand. “Everything’s shiny, Simon. Jayne didn’t tell me anything about anyone. Look, I know this is weird. It’s right up there with some of the weirdest crap I’ve encountered, and I know weird. But I know who you are because you’re part of a TV show I used to watch.”
“A…what?” Every other person in the room looked confused (Sam slightly less so).
“…I say we stop trying to figure out who they are, and just dump them out the airlock,” Wash suggested.
“Damn, Wash, I thought you were the fun one,” Dean said. “You know, with the dinosaurs and everything.”
“Good idea, hon.” Zoe raised her gun, aimed, and then everyone froze, except for Sam and Dean.
“Okay, okay, this is partly my fault for thinking they’d get along with you,” Gabriel said as he stepped out from behind Zoe.
“Dammit, I should’ve known.”
The Trickster smirked. “Yeah, you should’ve. Especially you, Dean. Though you’re what threw the kink into my plan. Never thought the Winchesters had time, let alone a hard-on for a defunct Fox TV sci-fi show, but that’s my bad. And I can’t blame you. It’s a great show. It had such potential.”
Dean couldn’t help but nod. It had been such a good show.
“So…what was this for?” Sam asked.
Gabriel shrugged. “I always wanted another episode. And I was thinking about it, and it occurred to me, you two did pretty well a few years ago when I threw you into my own personal TV box. Guess I should’ve done it more like that, though. Make you part of the world, not just shoehorn you in the way I did here. But I’m getting sloppier in my old age.”
“You’re a dick,” Dean said. “Playing with us like that? They were going to shoot us!”
“Oh, come on, Dean,” the Trickster shot back. “You have to admit it, you had fun. Sam, maybe not so much, but you had fun. You know it.”
Dean looked around the infirmary. “Maybe.”
“I’ve got an idea. How about we try this again, only I’ll fix it so you fit in this time?”
“No-“ they both shouted, but it was useless. Everyone unfroze, but the weapons were no longer drawn, and Wash was no longer in the infirmary; Dean assumed he was now at the helm.
“Dean, it’s okay. Sam just needed a vaccination before we go planetside,” Simon explained.
“I’m interested to see just what sort of job Badger has for us this time,” Zoe said.
“Something about a farm plagued by monsters of some sort,” Mal said. “Perfect opportunity for our two new crew members to dazzle us their hunting skills.”