The way forward
Nothing is quite so bad for our relationship as when people come to visit. I'm such a nervous wreck about people seeing the house without realizing that this isn't the way I would choose to live but is rather something I've inherited by falling in love with a hoarder. We end up fighting because I bust my nuts trying to get the house ready and he avoids, becomes argumentative and then wants me to throw a party for the couple things he does end up doing. And yet, for all this, I can say one thing. The house looks good in the end. Within reason. Messy and cluttered, but clean enough that my brain finally finally relaxes enough to take a breath. And so, instead of avoiding all this in future, I think the way forward is to embrace it to be honest. Maybe we need to have visitors more often to give us both the push to keep it decent. It might kill our relationship but at least I'd have some small peace of mind. I just live for the day we move so I can put all this in boxes and only unpack the stuff that we really want and need out. The rest will live in the garage or storage and becomes not my problem. That's what I hope and dream anyhow!