Sitting, waiting, wishing..................blah
So right now i am sitting in the secret lounge of GA state chillin until my next class at 11. The weekend that just past had one highlight other than the normal ones. I finally got to see stephanie again for the first time since summer school. She came over saturday night and met kelli, mike, and courtney. All of us were planning on going to the thrashers game, but that didnt happen. So i called steph and told her we werent even going and that she should come hang out. I had a lot of fun that night just goofing around, and basically making fun of courtney all night like i usually do. Courtney and i have this loving relationship where the word fuck you means we love each other...lol. IF you were just a random person walking into one of our conversations, you would think im like the most horrible guys in the world for talking to a woman like that, but we both do it in fun. We sat around for like 4 hours watching damned sports all night, the thrasher RAPED the sentinals like no other, and then the braves lost again.
In the middle of it all i got really hungry and asked if anyone else was too, but of course no one was. But like 5 seconds later Stephanie was like....im hungry go get me food..lol..so me and her order some pizza and went to pick it up. For those of you who dont know who stephanie is, she is this georgous girl that i met in summer classes and became pretty good friends with. If i can figure out how to post a pic of her i will. You will be like..umm john wtf...y does she talk to you??!?!? Anyways, after food we played a little burnout revenge, which is fun for EVERYONE including steph who i think hated video games before that. She crashed about 40 times every ten feet of course, but she did have fun. Some how we got onto the fact that im still a virgin and of course was the central target mainly b/c i was like one of 2 virgins in the room. stephanie saw that as an open wound and totally ripped me a new one. lol it was funny b/c someone finally got me back, i mean i make fun of them alot just being the ass that i am...but stephanie found a way to get back. i like that, but she thought that i was pissed off but in reality didnt really care. I like keeping that piece of myself for someone, i think it will make the first time all that much better. There have been a couple of trying times, but i wanted to make sure that it happens with someone im in love with, so probably a very long time from now...if ever.
I do like her a lot, and she probably got the hint soooner than later, but nothing will ever come of it considering she goes to berry and im stuck in Atl. It would be nice to though, for some reason, even though she is way out of my leauge, i feel very comfortable with her. Now i have never met any of her friends, who would all probably dislike me or something but the feeling is there. After she left, the next day courtney and kelli both said that she seemed interested in me...which is not true, im sorry ladies but your women's intuition is a little off. I was also told that i could get anyone, which first off i hate how it is said. No offense to the girl that said that but i dont want to "get" anyone. Its not a game to me, i want to be with someone, but dont see that happening in the future. And second, that just isnt true. My personality and looks could never "get" anyone. Im an ass and soo thats probably y most girls never want anything to do with me. I wish i could change that, but i know im an ass deep down. It sucks because whenever i do get close to a girl, it seems like i just end up doing somewhat of a like one night thing with them and then nothing else. It has never gone for more than one day, which again is sad. I know that within the 24 hours that the relationships goes beyond friends, i will get a call saying...lets be friends, or i just dont find you attractive enough. But see most of you reading are either like oh man, i cant believe someone said that to you, or omg john stfu about ur women problems. To answer the first one, it doesnt even effect me anymore. For the second part..i know, i need to stop and just shut the hell up, but for those of you who know me well enough, u know that im a hopeless romantic that will always love the ladies...lol if that makes any sense. I guess my querks as a guy are too much to handle and will never be appreciated.
To end my pointless rant on life, i am really looking forward to playing soccer again. It will take my mind off things and maybe get me in shape so then i may be attractive. I started running on the treadmill to get back into the swing of things and hopefully that will make a difference when practice starts. About 30 minutes until class so i will wrap it up. Sorry to have wasted your 2 minutes and this space on the web..lol...later
In the middle of it all i got really hungry and asked if anyone else was too, but of course no one was. But like 5 seconds later Stephanie was like....im hungry go get me food..lol..so me and her order some pizza and went to pick it up. For those of you who dont know who stephanie is, she is this georgous girl that i met in summer classes and became pretty good friends with. If i can figure out how to post a pic of her i will. You will be like..umm john wtf...y does she talk to you??!?!? Anyways, after food we played a little burnout revenge, which is fun for EVERYONE including steph who i think hated video games before that. She crashed about 40 times every ten feet of course, but she did have fun. Some how we got onto the fact that im still a virgin and of course was the central target mainly b/c i was like one of 2 virgins in the room. stephanie saw that as an open wound and totally ripped me a new one. lol it was funny b/c someone finally got me back, i mean i make fun of them alot just being the ass that i am...but stephanie found a way to get back. i like that, but she thought that i was pissed off but in reality didnt really care. I like keeping that piece of myself for someone, i think it will make the first time all that much better. There have been a couple of trying times, but i wanted to make sure that it happens with someone im in love with, so probably a very long time from now...if ever.
I do like her a lot, and she probably got the hint soooner than later, but nothing will ever come of it considering she goes to berry and im stuck in Atl. It would be nice to though, for some reason, even though she is way out of my leauge, i feel very comfortable with her. Now i have never met any of her friends, who would all probably dislike me or something but the feeling is there. After she left, the next day courtney and kelli both said that she seemed interested in me...which is not true, im sorry ladies but your women's intuition is a little off. I was also told that i could get anyone, which first off i hate how it is said. No offense to the girl that said that but i dont want to "get" anyone. Its not a game to me, i want to be with someone, but dont see that happening in the future. And second, that just isnt true. My personality and looks could never "get" anyone. Im an ass and soo thats probably y most girls never want anything to do with me. I wish i could change that, but i know im an ass deep down. It sucks because whenever i do get close to a girl, it seems like i just end up doing somewhat of a like one night thing with them and then nothing else. It has never gone for more than one day, which again is sad. I know that within the 24 hours that the relationships goes beyond friends, i will get a call saying...lets be friends, or i just dont find you attractive enough. But see most of you reading are either like oh man, i cant believe someone said that to you, or omg john stfu about ur women problems. To answer the first one, it doesnt even effect me anymore. For the second part..i know, i need to stop and just shut the hell up, but for those of you who know me well enough, u know that im a hopeless romantic that will always love the ladies...lol if that makes any sense. I guess my querks as a guy are too much to handle and will never be appreciated.
To end my pointless rant on life, i am really looking forward to playing soccer again. It will take my mind off things and maybe get me in shape so then i may be attractive. I started running on the treadmill to get back into the swing of things and hopefully that will make a difference when practice starts. About 30 minutes until class so i will wrap it up. Sorry to have wasted your 2 minutes and this space on the web..lol...later