Profoundly normal. Profoundly ordinary.

[mulletiesville]

I should learn to (go to) sleep.

I didn't want to write, and I don't want to write but I'm going to because the urge to write something has been brooding inside me

Comments

[twystedpixie]

I was pointed in this direction by Myra, naturally. I can understand the apprehension here. I sometimes think that's the hardest challenge of being intelligent and an idealist--any avenue that even remotely hints at a "normal", usual life makes you die a little inside, to think you'll just become another cog in the machine. Heh, it's why I'm forever a rolling stone; I'm always worried if I settle in one place long enough, I'll get stuck. I want to do huge things, help the world in some big way, make a resounding, reverberating impact with my words. But I've been quietly thinking lately that maybe I've been going about this all wrong. Maybe endless chaos isn't the answer, but perhaps I need a bit of stability first, to gain a jumping-off point to make my change upon the world. It's awfully hard to jump and spread your wings when you're constantly in the act of falling and spinning around. And I'm realizing that my interesting, will-o'-th'-wisp, nomadic life has ever been that: A series of random acts of falling. So perhaps it's time to find a way to reconcile the needs of growing up a bit and finding some stability with my own individualism. It's possible to go with the flow of humanity now and then without becoming a sheep; I'm sure of it. And maybe this is all self-serving, pretentious, obvious crap I'm spewing and it's just taken me a little longer to figure this out than the rest. But even so...I do understand what you're saying. At least in part.