an awaiking

[mulkinator]

ive learned alot over my years and im proud to say that today i learned something new. well not really learned but realized what i lost. ive spent the last year and a half trying to realize why there was a sudden change in my life. i went from sweet lovable D to this arrogant asshole, but i think i know why. i lost love and the realization of love. im not talking about lust or sex im talking about the innocent first kiss. im talking about the first crush the girl you want with your entire being. the one person that you dont want to ave sex with the person that you want to walk through the mall with or to a movie holding hands and kissing gently on the cheek. the one person that you lie next to on the couch and put your arms around holding them and just plain being with them. the one thing that makes you so confident you could overcome any obstacle just because there yours.i mean the giddy school boy im in love and nothing else matters. but that is a realization i have not yet achieved. but with any luck i will. im not upset im not sad im just glad i finally have relief.

i love you all
D