Fic: Hobbies
“I just don’t understand it, Sebastian,” Ciel remarks, closing his laptop with a snap.
“What do you not understand, young master?” the demon asks lightly. He reminds himself to remind his companion that, although he is stuck in a child’s body, he should know better than to loose his temper so easily. Or to be so rough with a brand new LCD screen.
“This…this…” With a irritated sigh, Ciel opens the laptop again and turns it around. “This! I swear, one of these days I will go to Japan, find all of those doujinka, and-!”
“There’s no need to get so hot-headed, young master,” Sebastian interrupts, perusing the web page with interest. Scrolling down the page, he sees one of the earlier entries and pauses at its title. “The ‘Hide and Go Seek’ Saga?”
Ciel huffs loudly and jumps out of his chair, pacing around the room. “Don’t even get me started on that! As if that Moon person hasn’t already put us through enough, she has to go and write that bunch of garbage.”
“Now, now, young master,” Sebastian soothes, trying his best to hold in his laughter. He clicks on a link that reads Contracts. “Everyone is entitled to their own hobbies.”
“It’s slander!” Ciel rages on. “Slander, Sebastian, that what this is, and that girl should be hanged for the things she writes!”
“I hardly think that any form of law enforcement would consider this slander,” Sebastian counters, pausing in his reading to glance up at Ciel. “There’s nothing illegal being done here, and there’s certainly no reason to be this upset. And even if there was, I would like to remind the young master that hanging is no longer a viable form of punishment in this country.”
“Nothing illegal?” Ciel repeats, turning quickly and making a new route on which to pace. “I can think of at least six things that break the law, Sebastian! Shoutacon, incest, child pornography, copyright infringement-!”
“Child pornography? Really, young master, I do think you’re blowing this out of proportion. This ‘Moon Maiden’ girl’s fantasies can’t be as bad as that web comic you found the other day-Phobia, wasn’t it?”
Ciel let out a growl, tugging at his hair in his frustration. “Did you have to bring that up, Sebastian? I mean, as good as the whole ‘Apple Murderer mystery’ plot is, did she really find it necessary to make up magical properties of demon saliva?”
“I believe that was just a literary device, my lord, so she could have a plausible reason for me to suck on your fingers.”
“Ugh, she’s made you do things to me in that stupid doujinshi that Alois Trancy himself wouldn’t dream of doing to me! And for that matter, why can’t she just hurry up and get the sex out of the way? I mean, if Elizabeth really walked in on you molesting me in the bath, she-” Ciel stopped suddenly, looking over his shoulder. “For the love of God, man, don’t tell me you’re actually reading that drivel?”
Sebastian grinned widely. “Hmph. Well, Moon is quite a talented writer, if I do say so myself. Her skill with wordplay and plot twists, not to mention fine use of the ‘Alternate Universe’ genre and her wonderful gift for imagery-and the ‘Father’ dialogue in KakuBenRo was just-!”
“You’re enjoying this?” Ciel exclaimed. Eyeing him suspiciously, he asked, “How much of it have you read?”
“Nearly all of it now,” Sebastian replied, clicking on a link to the final installment, entitled Cuckoo’s Nest. “Two parts? I do wonder what’s in store for us now, young master?”
Ciel’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped slightly. “I’m surrounded by crazy people.” Throwing his hands in the air, he continued, “I wash my hands of you, Sebastian. I’ll be in my room. When you’ve finally finished with that rubbish, make yourself useful and make me something sweet.”
Sebastian smiled to himself as he heard a door slam and loud music start to play. Rising from his seat, he shut the laptop once more and walked into the kitchen to begin preparing dinner. “I suppose I shouldn’t let the young master read Paradigm or Toppings, then. Or the most recent Phobia pages….”