Okay, I cannot keep this to myself.
Me: -turns the volume up on the CD player and sings along badly- I love this song!
Mom: Do we have to J-Pop? [My mom calls any music that originates in Japan J-Pop. I have no earthy idea why.] We’re just going to the dentist.
Me: If it’s more than a 4-minute drive, I J-Pop. Sorry. Besides, I’m the one who has to be tortured at the dentist’s office and it’s my car. So tough cookies.
Mom: -does not want- Do you even have anything in your car that’s in English?
Me: Yes.
Mom: …Besides the Tangled soundtrack?
Me: Look, it’s either Mandy Moore, Yuya, or MUCC. Take your pick.
Mom: What the heck is moo-koo? Is that what mama cows do to their calves when they're upset?
Me: ...where did that even come from?
Mom: I don’t know. And you have like a crap-ton of CDs in here. Are they all J-Pop?
Me: No. Some of them are J-Rock. Actually, most of them are. The only real J-Pop I own is Yuya. Well, and Utada Hikaru, but I don’t really count her because she sang the Kingdom Hearts theme songs.
Mom: And that makes her less Japanese?
Me: …yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. What I meant was I really only like and listen to the Kingdom Hearts themes. And that's only because they're from Kingdom Hearts. I mean, they're good songs, but they remind of of my OTP.
Mom: -has no idea what an OTP is and isn't going to ask- What about “Easy Breezy”?
Me: …?
Mom: Erika was listening to it the other day, said you recommended it.
Me: Oh. Yeah, I don’t like it as much anymore. I’ve moved on.
Mom: So, does this Yuya chick sing in English like some of your other J-Pops?
Me: -awkward silence- You know that Yuya’s a man, right?
Mom: -more awkward silence- All I want to know is if he sings in English or not.
Me: Sometimes. He remixed “Foolish Foolish” all in English.
Mom: Better than nothing, I guess.
Me: -puts in CD and whispers sings along-
Mom: I thought you said this was in English?
Me: -pauses CD- “Baby here comes the rain, falling from these eyes./Do you feel the same pain coming down as cold as ice?/And I’m drenched in my tears/Girl, it’s all that I can do to think of you.” I believe that’s English, yes.
Mom: Okay, maybe when you sing it. Otherwise, it’s Engrish, and I don’t speak Engrish.
Me: Yuya actually sings pretty good Engrish. It’s a lot better than what passes in other songs I’ve heard. You seriously can't tell the difference?
Mom: No. I think I’ll just stick with Laith Al-Deen, thank you. “Kiene Wie Du” could kick J-Pop butt any day.
Me: He’s okay. But Yuya’s way hotter.
Mom: Why does that matter?
Me: Talented and smokin' hot--what more could a fangirl ask for?
Mom: I bet you and Moon have had a conversation about that, huh?
Me: ... -turns up the volume-
And by then, we had arrived at the dentist's office. While we were driving home, this happened:
Me: -abrupt change of subject- How do you pronounce his name, anyway?
Mom: Who, Booth? [We had been talking about Bones] Boo-thuh.
Me: No, your G-Pop guy.
Mom: -is completely bewildered-
Me: The one who sings "Kiene Wie Du."
Mom: Oh! I'm not sure actually. He's half Iraqi, so I don't know if his name takes the Arabic or German pronunciation. If it's German, it's pronounced sort of like the English word "light." It's really something like Lie-tuh, but you took enough German to get the picture, right?
Me: Yeah. -five minutes later- Wait, wait, wait. His name is Light?
Mom: ...kind of, why?
Me: I'm going to call him Kira from now on.
Mom: -doesn't understand Death Note references-
Me: -explains- So, your G-Pop is now officially a mass murderer. I have spoken, and so it shall be.
Mom: ... Have I ever told you how weird you are?
Mom: Do we have to J-Pop? [My mom calls any music that originates in Japan J-Pop. I have no earthy idea why.] We’re just going to the dentist.
Me: If it’s more than a 4-minute drive, I J-Pop. Sorry. Besides, I’m the one who has to be tortured at the dentist’s office and it’s my car. So tough cookies.
Mom: -does not want- Do you even have anything in your car that’s in English?
Me: Yes.
Mom: …Besides the Tangled soundtrack?
Me: Look, it’s either Mandy Moore, Yuya, or MUCC. Take your pick.
Mom: What the heck is moo-koo? Is that what mama cows do to their calves when they're upset?
Me: ...where did that even come from?
Mom: I don’t know. And you have like a crap-ton of CDs in here. Are they all J-Pop?
Me: No. Some of them are J-Rock. Actually, most of them are. The only real J-Pop I own is Yuya. Well, and Utada Hikaru, but I don’t really count her because she sang the Kingdom Hearts theme songs.
Mom: And that makes her less Japanese?
Me: …yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. What I meant was I really only like and listen to the Kingdom Hearts themes. And that's only because they're from Kingdom Hearts. I mean, they're good songs, but they remind of of my OTP.
Mom: -has no idea what an OTP is and isn't going to ask- What about “Easy Breezy”?
Me: …?
Mom: Erika was listening to it the other day, said you recommended it.
Me: Oh. Yeah, I don’t like it as much anymore. I’ve moved on.
Mom: So, does this Yuya chick sing in English like some of your other J-Pops?
Me: -awkward silence- You know that Yuya’s a man, right?
Mom: -more awkward silence- All I want to know is if he sings in English or not.
Me: Sometimes. He remixed “Foolish Foolish” all in English.
Mom: Better than nothing, I guess.
Me: -puts in CD and whispers sings along-
Mom: I thought you said this was in English?
Me: -pauses CD- “Baby here comes the rain, falling from these eyes./Do you feel the same pain coming down as cold as ice?/And I’m drenched in my tears/Girl, it’s all that I can do to think of you.” I believe that’s English, yes.
Mom: Okay, maybe when you sing it. Otherwise, it’s Engrish, and I don’t speak Engrish.
Me: Yuya actually sings pretty good Engrish. It’s a lot better than what passes in other songs I’ve heard. You seriously can't tell the difference?
Mom: No. I think I’ll just stick with Laith Al-Deen, thank you. “Kiene Wie Du” could kick J-Pop butt any day.
Me: He’s okay. But Yuya’s way hotter.
Mom: Why does that matter?
Me: Talented and smokin' hot--what more could a fangirl ask for?
Mom: I bet you and Moon have had a conversation about that, huh?
Me: ... -turns up the volume-
And by then, we had arrived at the dentist's office. While we were driving home, this happened:
Me: -abrupt change of subject- How do you pronounce his name, anyway?
Mom: Who, Booth? [We had been talking about Bones] Boo-thuh.
Me: No, your G-Pop guy.
Mom: -is completely bewildered-
Me: The one who sings "Kiene Wie Du."
Mom: Oh! I'm not sure actually. He's half Iraqi, so I don't know if his name takes the Arabic or German pronunciation. If it's German, it's pronounced sort of like the English word "light." It's really something like Lie-tuh, but you took enough German to get the picture, right?
Me: Yeah. -five minutes later- Wait, wait, wait. His name is Light?
Mom: ...kind of, why?
Me: I'm going to call him Kira from now on.
Mom: -doesn't understand Death Note references-
Me: -explains- So, your G-Pop is now officially a mass murderer. I have spoken, and so it shall be.
Mom: ... Have I ever told you how weird you are?