Fik woes and sleep wantage.
I really shouldn't be up right now. I really should be getting to sleep. Only managed about three-ish hours of it yesterafternoon. Was surprisingly nontired last night, sick as a dog, but not tired.
I had the most unfortunate experience of looking up as I was walking to my car after leaving work today right when the sun in all its blazing glory decided to come out of hiding in its ascension up into the sky from behind a building and promptly got blinded and ran into tree. ;-; My eyes. They still hurt.
Meanwhile I think either one of two things are going to happen between me and 'WDYHM'. Either I will kill it or it will kill me.
At this point in time I'm leaning more on the latter. I'm running into all kinds of problems with it, mostly structurally as it can't seem to make up its mind if it wants to follow a ah, sequential rhythm or follow a flashback/present pattern. =/
I keep leaning more towards the latter because of a certain thingie the Joker does with ah, someone(s), that in itself I'm not too sure of because it might be 'letting the cat out of the bag'(?) too soon. Although really, since Joker seems intent, more or less, on umm...dear god my brain just stopped working, what's the word, word, word... fulfill his promises from 'Broken Promise' I guess it would kinda be nixnox anyways. I really should just listen to myself and not ah, meddle in the affairs of madmen and just write what they tell me.
Speaking of madmen, another issue with this fikkie.
I still consider this to be very much Batsy's story and not so much the Jokers but since Bats is going to be ah... the umm... nonactive? one of the two during a portion of the fik I'll need to change over to the Jokers POV. Not sure how I'm wanting to play this either. I don't really know if I want to go into his thoughts or not because like I said, I think it's still Bats' story. I dunno... Maybe it'll be more interesting that way? =/
I'm probably just making it more complicated then it is, kinda wish I could grouse about it to a live person. What's even worse is that my mind's already toying with the idea of another sequel and dear lord knows how that's going to work. All things considered. I blame this idea entirely on arcaneamaranth, just as I blame 'WDYHM' on rdallyn and Neuroticfish. And too little sleep. Damn you all.
Anywho, so if anyone sees a bloody pulp of patheticalness, it's just me. Having been beaten to death by my fik.
Also on fiks, if one remembers my 'Untitled BxJ Broken Doll Fikkie' that I posted a while on back here, I think I'm of the definite mind to post it as it is for now to BatmanJoker and the like, and expand on it at a later date, but I don't have a title. =/ My immediate inclination is to just titled it 'Broken Doll', but really after 'Broken Promise' that's like, just too many 'Broken's' or something. XD! Either that or I'm just weird. Was trying to think of a play on words, something to allude to the 'Broken Doll' motif, but also work in ah, the fact that in the context of the fik Batsy's also broken in a fashion, you know a part of his soul or whateverwhathaveyouandwhatsit was taken away.
And dear god, won't this computer ever finish its scan so I can go to sleep?! I don't want to leave it on and lying about for one of the kitties to muck about with.
Actually... Don't you know it but I was supposed to be working on getting notes and crap for 'WDYHM' together in its nice little document on my computer instead of loitering about on various scraps of paper and instead here I be and totally too much into the wanting to sleep thing to so much as move more than my fingers at the moment and really even they don't want to move, but I'm not exactly keen on falling asleep on my laptop either and ending up with a drooled on keyboard and waffleface for my trouble.
Speaking of sleep and cats. During my three-ish hours of sleep yesterafternoon I remember waking up in a hazy haze of sleepiness and looking down at the foot of my bed at this dark vaguely kittyish shape all draped in shadow. It took me a moment before my mind kicked in with 'The Evil One' (<= My kittie (well, the only one allowed in my room anyways)) before my mind kindly informed oneself, 'Self, The Evil One is not that color', in which I went 'huh' and plopped back down as the vaguely kittyish shape skulked its way through my bedroom door. Finally I caught the ghostly bastard! *cackles*
Hmm...computer still scanning.
It really needs to stop. Actually, why's it even scanning this early? I usually have them all set up to scan at night. *pokes it*
Ack I don't care. Speaking of cats and my room, someone (as in me) didn't seem to close my door before leaving for work this morning (as in last night), which is just odd because I'm paranoid like that and the other kitties got the rare chance to roam free. And knocked crap all over the place. No respect. That's why they're not allowed in there. They don't know how to stay off stuffs.
And speaking of my fish (since they're in my room) my Henchclowns have grown so big. ♥ They seem to have hit a growth spurt the last few daysish and have grown about an inch I think. And Schiff too. =D Don't know if I mentioned or not, but Schiff survived the bacteria scourge from Hell that claimed nearly all of my fish about four/five months back. I'd been told that he had kicked the bucket too, but he lived! Only he and the Henchies. ♥
OMG I am just so smitten with my Henchclowns too. They're so cute and expressive. They love coming up to the glass and looking at you when you look into the tank or go up to your finger(s) if you touch the glass. ♥ So not like they were at the pet store when I first got them. They all just lazed about the bottom of the tank looking all Henchmen like, hence why I got them, but they really have awesome personalities. I just wuffles them to death.
Schiff is still nervous as all get out though. XD! He always runs away and tries to hide.
Have decided to get another Ghost Knife. Fifth times the charm right? But I can't bring myself to name him Joker. ;-; So I'm going to stick my 'Jokers Henchclown' tank motif I have going and name him 'Johnny, Johnny'. X3
Am hoping to be able to get two pet snakes sometime toward the end of this year or the beginning of next whenever I can afford to stop bumming it at the parents house (mum refuses to let me bring a snake into her house ;-;) and get a place of my own. Which actually might be harder than previously thought, mainly because I'm thinking about going back to college for a Masters. And the school I'm now looking at is about three/fourish hours away from where I am now, so I'd need to move there in all likely hood and need to find a job there while going to school fulltime. =/ I'm not sure, but I was thinking about an Arts Major, in photography. Although really the only thing I really know about photography or cameras is point and click, but I've become smitten with a certain type of photography and think it would be an interesting thing. Although I keep asking myself then, Self? Yes. How's that supposed to turn into a career? *sigh*
Careers. Jobs. Me.
It just doesn't work out.
I mean take now. I really only work with, at most four other people on my shift at my job. I ever really only come into direct contact with one, possibly two, of them for any length of any kind of time. And that's one (when it's only one person) person too many. ;^; I get all nervous and twitchy and just want them to go~ And it's not like because I don't like them, or anything, but because they're really nice people, but I just... can't be around people. I get too nervous and jittery and want to be anywhere but where they are. Damn you social to the nth degree anxiety! *shakes fist* Which is one part of why I can't really seem to get a good grip of any possible career path or choice or major or whatsit. It's absolutely pathetic. Oh god, I am so going to be whatshername from 'The Net'. ;O; Except I won't be a spiffy computer hacker type person that can reclaim my identity and thereafter make sure to make nice with the neighbor so they'd actually know what I looked like so no one else could come and take over my identity, unless they killed them too! Umm...anyways, what was I saying? Oh yes, and of course the second major problem with the whole career thingie besides being unable to do the whole 'group/teamwork thing' is that I am just way too damned naturally laid back. Like freakishly mellow. I don't do the whole stressful job thing. That just irritates the piss out of me. So, I can't work in teams and I don't do the work under pressure thing. No one wants that kind of employee. ;-; I'm just screwed all the way around.
Doomed to be in sucky jobs and alone forever.
Speaking of being alone, how the hell do you even meet people? I want friends. Except, that concept scares the bejesus out of me for asforementioned reasons. In fact. Nevermind. I'll think on that one some more. Even though I really, really do want some. ;^;
And dear fucking god this thing's still running.
...I'll give it five more minutes.
Then I'm going to sleep damnit, because I need sleeps.
Also, mental note and whatsitnot, do the whole 'WDYHM' notes thingie on day off if get the chance between doing all that other crap you have to do ok. Or you know, don't get distracted and do it when you first think of doing it and so forth and so on and ok falling asleep while typing now.
Waffleface is imminent. \;o;/ Go program, Go!
_
I had the most unfortunate experience of looking up as I was walking to my car after leaving work today right when the sun in all its blazing glory decided to come out of hiding in its ascension up into the sky from behind a building and promptly got blinded and ran into tree. ;-; My eyes. They still hurt.
Meanwhile I think either one of two things are going to happen between me and 'WDYHM'. Either I will kill it or it will kill me.
At this point in time I'm leaning more on the latter. I'm running into all kinds of problems with it, mostly structurally as it can't seem to make up its mind if it wants to follow a ah, sequential rhythm or follow a flashback/present pattern. =/
I keep leaning more towards the latter because of a certain thingie the Joker does with ah, someone(s), that in itself I'm not too sure of because it might be 'letting the cat out of the bag'(?) too soon. Although really, since Joker seems intent, more or less, on umm...dear god my brain just stopped working, what's the word, word, word... fulfill his promises from 'Broken Promise' I guess it would kinda be nixnox anyways. I really should just listen to myself and not ah, meddle in the affairs of madmen and just write what they tell me.
Speaking of madmen, another issue with this fikkie.
I still consider this to be very much Batsy's story and not so much the Jokers but since Bats is going to be ah... the umm... nonactive? one of the two during a portion of the fik I'll need to change over to the Jokers POV. Not sure how I'm wanting to play this either. I don't really know if I want to go into his thoughts or not because like I said, I think it's still Bats' story. I dunno... Maybe it'll be more interesting that way? =/
I'm probably just making it more complicated then it is, kinda wish I could grouse about it to a live person. What's even worse is that my mind's already toying with the idea of another sequel and dear lord knows how that's going to work. All things considered. I blame this idea entirely on arcaneamaranth, just as I blame 'WDYHM' on rdallyn and Neuroticfish. And too little sleep. Damn you all.
Anywho, so if anyone sees a bloody pulp of patheticalness, it's just me. Having been beaten to death by my fik.
Also on fiks, if one remembers my 'Untitled BxJ Broken Doll Fikkie' that I posted a while on back here, I think I'm of the definite mind to post it as it is for now to BatmanJoker and the like, and expand on it at a later date, but I don't have a title. =/ My immediate inclination is to just titled it 'Broken Doll', but really after 'Broken Promise' that's like, just too many 'Broken's' or something. XD! Either that or I'm just weird. Was trying to think of a play on words, something to allude to the 'Broken Doll' motif, but also work in ah, the fact that in the context of the fik Batsy's also broken in a fashion, you know a part of his soul or whateverwhathaveyouandwhatsit was taken away.
And dear god, won't this computer ever finish its scan so I can go to sleep?! I don't want to leave it on and lying about for one of the kitties to muck about with.
Actually... Don't you know it but I was supposed to be working on getting notes and crap for 'WDYHM' together in its nice little document on my computer instead of loitering about on various scraps of paper and instead here I be and totally too much into the wanting to sleep thing to so much as move more than my fingers at the moment and really even they don't want to move, but I'm not exactly keen on falling asleep on my laptop either and ending up with a drooled on keyboard and waffleface for my trouble.
Speaking of sleep and cats. During my three-ish hours of sleep yesterafternoon I remember waking up in a hazy haze of sleepiness and looking down at the foot of my bed at this dark vaguely kittyish shape all draped in shadow. It took me a moment before my mind kicked in with 'The Evil One' (<= My kittie (well, the only one allowed in my room anyways)) before my mind kindly informed oneself, 'Self, The Evil One is not that color', in which I went 'huh' and plopped back down as the vaguely kittyish shape skulked its way through my bedroom door. Finally I caught the ghostly bastard! *cackles*
Hmm...computer still scanning.
It really needs to stop. Actually, why's it even scanning this early? I usually have them all set up to scan at night. *pokes it*
Ack I don't care. Speaking of cats and my room, someone (as in me) didn't seem to close my door before leaving for work this morning (as in last night), which is just odd because I'm paranoid like that and the other kitties got the rare chance to roam free. And knocked crap all over the place. No respect. That's why they're not allowed in there. They don't know how to stay off stuffs.
And speaking of my fish (since they're in my room) my Henchclowns have grown so big. ♥ They seem to have hit a growth spurt the last few daysish and have grown about an inch I think. And Schiff too. =D Don't know if I mentioned or not, but Schiff survived the bacteria scourge from Hell that claimed nearly all of my fish about four/five months back. I'd been told that he had kicked the bucket too, but he lived! Only he and the Henchies. ♥
OMG I am just so smitten with my Henchclowns too. They're so cute and expressive. They love coming up to the glass and looking at you when you look into the tank or go up to your finger(s) if you touch the glass. ♥ So not like they were at the pet store when I first got them. They all just lazed about the bottom of the tank looking all Henchmen like, hence why I got them, but they really have awesome personalities. I just wuffles them to death.
Schiff is still nervous as all get out though. XD! He always runs away and tries to hide.
Have decided to get another Ghost Knife. Fifth times the charm right? But I can't bring myself to name him Joker. ;-; So I'm going to stick my 'Jokers Henchclown' tank motif I have going and name him 'Johnny, Johnny'. X3
Am hoping to be able to get two pet snakes sometime toward the end of this year or the beginning of next whenever I can afford to stop bumming it at the parents house (mum refuses to let me bring a snake into her house ;-;) and get a place of my own. Which actually might be harder than previously thought, mainly because I'm thinking about going back to college for a Masters. And the school I'm now looking at is about three/fourish hours away from where I am now, so I'd need to move there in all likely hood and need to find a job there while going to school fulltime. =/ I'm not sure, but I was thinking about an Arts Major, in photography. Although really the only thing I really know about photography or cameras is point and click, but I've become smitten with a certain type of photography and think it would be an interesting thing. Although I keep asking myself then, Self? Yes. How's that supposed to turn into a career? *sigh*
Careers. Jobs. Me.
It just doesn't work out.
I mean take now. I really only work with, at most four other people on my shift at my job. I ever really only come into direct contact with one, possibly two, of them for any length of any kind of time. And that's one (when it's only one person) person too many. ;^; I get all nervous and twitchy and just want them to go~ And it's not like because I don't like them, or anything, but because they're really nice people, but I just... can't be around people. I get too nervous and jittery and want to be anywhere but where they are. Damn you social to the nth degree anxiety! *shakes fist* Which is one part of why I can't really seem to get a good grip of any possible career path or choice or major or whatsit. It's absolutely pathetic. Oh god, I am so going to be whatshername from 'The Net'. ;O; Except I won't be a spiffy computer hacker type person that can reclaim my identity and thereafter make sure to make nice with the neighbor so they'd actually know what I looked like so no one else could come and take over my identity, unless they killed them too! Umm...anyways, what was I saying? Oh yes, and of course the second major problem with the whole career thingie besides being unable to do the whole 'group/teamwork thing' is that I am just way too damned naturally laid back. Like freakishly mellow. I don't do the whole stressful job thing. That just irritates the piss out of me. So, I can't work in teams and I don't do the work under pressure thing. No one wants that kind of employee. ;-; I'm just screwed all the way around.
Doomed to be in sucky jobs and alone forever.
Speaking of being alone, how the hell do you even meet people? I want friends. Except, that concept scares the bejesus out of me for asforementioned reasons. In fact. Nevermind. I'll think on that one some more. Even though I really, really do want some. ;^;
And dear fucking god this thing's still running.
...I'll give it five more minutes.
Then I'm going to sleep damnit, because I need sleeps.
Also, mental note and whatsitnot, do the whole 'WDYHM' notes thingie on day off if get the chance between doing all that other crap you have to do ok. Or you know, don't get distracted and do it when you first think of doing it and so forth and so on and ok falling asleep while typing now.
Waffleface is imminent. \;o;/ Go program, Go!
_