(no subject)
So it's been about three months since I've moved down here, living on my own, etc. My roommate is most often out, leaving me here by myself. I can't really say I have any friends down here, and I can't call up people at midnight to see if they want to chat. They probably wouldn't.
Not many of them have really called at all. Maybe one. I still talk to my boyfriend on a regular basis, but I have no doubt at all that he cares. He's just three hours away. And then I take inventory of the friends I used to, I think, talk to on a regular basis, and I realize I don't really have that many friends.
So I guess getting away and looking at the big picture has made me realize that things weren't as they thought they were. And that's been quite an adjustment for me. Which in a huge way has been a good thing.
For one, I don't feel pressured to go do things with people like I did back home. I don't feel 'obligated.' I feel like I finally have free time. Which means now I have time to read and actually get through all of Supernatural and Breaking Bad on Netflix. And since my roommate has friends who invite her out to go do stuff, I get the house to myself for the most part. I get complete and utter silence. It's fantastic.
On another note, I'm not doing so good healthwise. My diabetes is completely out of control. I've taken giant strides toward getting a grip on it, such as cutting out pasta and soda completely. I've laid off most carb-heavy things, bread included, which has been rough. I did make rice with my stir-fry tonight but didn't eat that much of it. I completely cut out cookies, cakes, candy, etc. No chips unless they're baked or what not. The popped chips are pretty delicious.
I've felt pretty shitty for a long time. I was severely depressed for about a month. I blame my blood sugar levels, the crap I was eating, loneliness, stress at work, and homesickness. My medication was doubled, so that has helped, but I can't be on anti-depressants the rest of my life. I think once I get the rest of my shit in order, I can get off of them. That's the goal anyway.
On an entirely different note, the two bamboo plants I've had since Christmas are still living. There were three, but the third died. Oddly enough, the two that are still living have barely seen any sunlight. The one that died sat by the window. Who knows? This is the longest I've ever kept anything alive.
Not many of them have really called at all. Maybe one. I still talk to my boyfriend on a regular basis, but I have no doubt at all that he cares. He's just three hours away. And then I take inventory of the friends I used to, I think, talk to on a regular basis, and I realize I don't really have that many friends.
So I guess getting away and looking at the big picture has made me realize that things weren't as they thought they were. And that's been quite an adjustment for me. Which in a huge way has been a good thing.
For one, I don't feel pressured to go do things with people like I did back home. I don't feel 'obligated.' I feel like I finally have free time. Which means now I have time to read and actually get through all of Supernatural and Breaking Bad on Netflix. And since my roommate has friends who invite her out to go do stuff, I get the house to myself for the most part. I get complete and utter silence. It's fantastic.
On another note, I'm not doing so good healthwise. My diabetes is completely out of control. I've taken giant strides toward getting a grip on it, such as cutting out pasta and soda completely. I've laid off most carb-heavy things, bread included, which has been rough. I did make rice with my stir-fry tonight but didn't eat that much of it. I completely cut out cookies, cakes, candy, etc. No chips unless they're baked or what not. The popped chips are pretty delicious.
I've felt pretty shitty for a long time. I was severely depressed for about a month. I blame my blood sugar levels, the crap I was eating, loneliness, stress at work, and homesickness. My medication was doubled, so that has helped, but I can't be on anti-depressants the rest of my life. I think once I get the rest of my shit in order, I can get off of them. That's the goal anyway.
On an entirely different note, the two bamboo plants I've had since Christmas are still living. There were three, but the third died. Oddly enough, the two that are still living have barely seen any sunlight. The one that died sat by the window. Who knows? This is the longest I've ever kept anything alive.