(no subject)
Everything sucks. Ten minutes back on campus and I already felt horrible even though I knew that in an hour I would be going home, I was just packing up my stuff. I wish I knew why being on campus in my dorm makes me feel so dark and horrid. The feelings are so bad that words don't even correctly express what I am feeling. So I pack up very quickly and then spend the rest of my time trying to withdrawal from the semester. I go to visit my advisor, she tells me that everything will be okay but that I will be a year behind because the one class I need to move on to senior status is only offered winter semester. I then find out that my tuition refund will take two months to process where they will then send 1700 to my loans and then I am responsible for everyday that I spent in my dorm before I returned my key. Which means I will be charged. So after they take out that 1700 and whatever else isn't covered I will recieve a bill for everything (if that makes sense). I also found out from my psychiatrist that my insurance company will not even consider making an exception for my case. I seriously sat there in my advisors office and about lost it when she told me about being a year behind, then I remembered the whole insurance situation. I seriously don't know how I kept it together. Why is all of this so hard. Why when I am trying to do something good for myself, why when I am trying to save my sanity and my health do I get kicked in the stomache and things end up worse than where I started off. When will things get better? Will they get better? I just don't know what to do anymore, and I wonder if things could get any darker?