2007: yeah, it sucked
so 2007 is finally over. the year of hell, depression, suicidal tendencies, and general discontment. will 2008 be different? already im going to say yes. im having more fun at work, i feel good about myself most of the time, and i find myself not entirely hating exercising. in fact, i kind of had fun on my run yesterday, so its looking like ill be able to keep it up (an ipod would be nice though). i've decided to not live in the past anymore, i had relationships in arizona unlike anything i've had before, and while i resented that the emotional barriers were broken for time, im happy that i feel more like a human now. do i want to make new friends again? sort of, but for right now revitalizing old connections has been fulfilling without me feeling overwhelmed. Do i want to finally start dating? not really, but i find myself more and more drawn to this girl at work, and while ill be the first to admit to reading signals terribley wrong, i can't help but feel she is giving me that old look that says "come on, ask me to do something, i wont say no". but then i go down the 'ol path that i take everytime i sense a mutual interest with someone, which is extreme caution, not wanting to commit, and eventually sabatoge to destroy any chance and thus i end up alone at the end of the day, which i guess is how i like it. whatever, here's to 2008 and the year of continuing to get my life on the right track.