out of it dayy

[muh_lov3_4_you]

Today im so out of it. i dont even know like what to sayy muh new medication is fucking with muh head and im so parinoid that its unreal like i dont even know. i have so much homeowrk today its INSANE id ont feel like doing it so yea but i have too its for finals which is GAY but yea... I miss muh Ergys...IF anyone talks to him DONT tell him im going to Tennessee he will go "racist"(his word which means go crazy on) on me. And when i see hhim i want to have a good time and then i will tell him when i say "Gooodnight" which i doubt i will be able to sayy them words to him it makes me cryy because like last time i seen him we talked like crazy and about certain things im not gonna put out there becuase its muh bussiness and well we were kinda holding each other and he went to leave and i didnt want to lett go and when his hand slipped away from mine hes like "goodbye and goodnight" and i cried because i really like him and im afraid of loosing him and i dont think he really understands me. The words he said too me tha goodbye thing and that was tha last word that he said too me and its been about a week i think?! im not tottally suurr but yea i really like him and i want to be with him (obviously) and like he thinks that im not ready for a relationship and i really am, i really love this guy not how i loved anyone hes truly muh first love...i think!? to me thats tha wayy i see it but to other people its like muh millionth one =) but he really is muh first one. When i gett tha feeling, the wayy he makes me feel, when im thinking about him i just gett tha biggest smile on my face and then its like wOw is he tha one?! is this who i want to be with tha rest of muh life? i know its kinda early to like sayy this but to me i think things are going to work unless he finds someone else and shyt... but like tha last night i was with him i was laying in the road and i have these like flashbacks of me laying there and it makes me wonder if i continued laying there would tha carr comeing stop? or would it just keep coming and roll me over see all tha pain and depression i have? i have been wondering that a lot and to be honest i dont think theyy would stop... I kinda dont want to talk about this any more its making me sadd.... but yea anyways muh friend Josh S. in his Live journal i didnt relize it until i was reading and went backwards and read an entry in his journal about how mych he misses me and how he wants to see me im like ha =) with a big smile! =) wOw i did not notice how much i wrote i havent wrote this mych in forever!! damn!... well i gotta go do my damn homework and think about muh Ergys (which we are NOT dating....)<-----I answered Rachels question------> well im out!!
peace out!

xOoOxRhonda

P/S <-------I LOVE ERGYS SO DAMN MUCH I HOPE WE CAN LATER IN LIFE ACTUALLY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP------>