An entry to mark the passing of time.
Tiger's death hit me hard. It pithed me of something essential. The core of my being has sat hollow, but is regenerating. I've had a rough time of it. Falling out with my friend Drue has added further injury. However nobody can live in stasis and such changes are an impetus to start afresh and abandon the old ways in an attempt to construct something new. Maybe find beauty in the world again.
I write this post to mark the flow of time. I am in a non-state, a quiet place. I feel cocooned. Waiting for the changes to happen that will let me spring forth again (I know I'll spring forth again.)
I've moved to Redfern, into "The Block." As infamous as my Eveleigh st abode seems to be I've found it to be the perfect place to live, full of safety and warmth. The distrust of the area keeps most others away which makes me feel secure and safe.
I've found constant solace in Jade's arms and my love for him has grown more than I would have imagined it to. I've been gardening and taking pleasure in watching things grow. Baking scones and muffins and cakes. Taking a huge comfort in eating and reading again. I've finished TAFE and am looking forward to my plans for the new year. Jade and I are nesting, building something safe and warm for us both to prepare for the challenges ahead.
And I must say that I am happy. This is happiness. It's not challenging, or exciting, or fearful, or dangerous or hateful. It's just happiness. A new foundation to build on and move forward with.
This entry marks a period of time. A preparation for regrowth. It's not here yet but I know it will be and can await it in security, trust and love.
I write this post to mark the flow of time. I am in a non-state, a quiet place. I feel cocooned. Waiting for the changes to happen that will let me spring forth again (I know I'll spring forth again.)
I've moved to Redfern, into "The Block." As infamous as my Eveleigh st abode seems to be I've found it to be the perfect place to live, full of safety and warmth. The distrust of the area keeps most others away which makes me feel secure and safe.
I've found constant solace in Jade's arms and my love for him has grown more than I would have imagined it to. I've been gardening and taking pleasure in watching things grow. Baking scones and muffins and cakes. Taking a huge comfort in eating and reading again. I've finished TAFE and am looking forward to my plans for the new year. Jade and I are nesting, building something safe and warm for us both to prepare for the challenges ahead.
And I must say that I am happy. This is happiness. It's not challenging, or exciting, or fearful, or dangerous or hateful. It's just happiness. A new foundation to build on and move forward with.
This entry marks a period of time. A preparation for regrowth. It's not here yet but I know it will be and can await it in security, trust and love.