FIC: remember when it rained

Apr 11, 2012 10:24

Title: Remember when it rained
Author: Mugimugul
Genre: Angst, Romance
Pairing: Reituki
Rating: PG-13
Warning: ...None
Chapters: 2/5,3/5
Disclaimer: i own no one! T___T
Summary: Songfic thats sorta based on what if. Ruki gets into a car accident and loses his memory and Reita pushes him away to keep him safe.


Reita taps his feet against the tiled floors, gnawing dread replacing the determination in him as he glares at the door, wishing that it would never open, that he would never have to do what he was about to do. The bell above the said door jingles, and the dread in him peaks as he plasters an awkward smile to his lips when Kai flops down in the seat opposite him, eyeing him suspiciously.
“So… What’s up?”
“… I have a favour to ask of you…”

Always be happy with him, so I won’t ever get a different mind
Even the smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well, as if I should feel jealous

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Reita nods mutely, not trusting himself to be able to speak above the choking pinch of doubt rising in his throat. I have to…
“It doesn’t have to be this way, Reita… It wasn’t your fault.”

Blood… Blood… There was blood everywhere, the crimson red indulging the fear coursing through his veins.  Screams… Frantic calls- Chaos. The pale body lying brokenly upon shattered glass. Ruki… Ruki… He reaches out trembling, bloodstained fingers towards him as his vision clouds, unconsciousness stealing him away.

Slowly, silently, my heart hurts for love,
Becoming as if I had lost my soul,
Hadn’t been prepared, but I’m about to let you go

Reita shudders as memories of that night- that “accident”, as they soon discovered, flashes through his mind.
“But it was, Kai, It’s me that Akihito wants…” Kai winches at the name, remembering the call Reita had received at the hospital; the horrific realization, the ugly truth, the threats. Akihito… The man who was so closely connected to Reita, he should have understood, should have supported him. The man who loved Reita- love that had gradually turned to insane hate- when he let envy of Reita’s life get the best of him. The man who Reita loved… Still loves; even when he was the source of their problems, Reita just couldn’t bring himself to hate him- his twin.

Tightly pursed lips as if in shock,
Slowly, silently, the tears start to flow,
Slowly, silently, my inner feelings  disperses just like this…

“We can help!”
“I won’t risk it again… I can’t.”
“He wouldn’t want you to do this.”
“I know… Please.” He waits, patiently, watching as Kai strolled towards the confused owner of the ward, hears him introduce himself as his boyfriend, and watches, ever so silently, even as the pain in his chest is starting to crush him when Ruki flashes that smile- warm, tender, loving- to Kai. That smile that once belonged solely to him, now directed to another. Reita stands silently by the door, back against the wall as he allows a forlorn smile to tilt his lips. Your smile… Is all I can wish for…

I love you.
 Like the beat of bird wings,
I’ll watch over you eternally.
I love you, I’m happy I got to meet you,
The one who wiped away my tears so softly.
I have one memory now….

(A/N: songs are haru haru, without words, kimi to zutto)


Slowly, silently, waiting for love,
Why am I so sad,
Apart from not having you by my side,
Everything is the same as from before.

Three months have passed since the accident. Band activities have resumed, now that Ruki’s all recovered, and Reita can’t help but be grateful to Kai for their extremely busy schedule; not when he gets to see Ruki every day, as painful as his longing for the vocalist gets, as torturous as it is when he watches Ruki with Kai. But he doesn’t- can’t- bring himself to regret his decision, not when Ruki looks so happy, so utterly in bliss. And he thinks that as long as Ruki’s happy, then he’s happy too; he’d do anything to keep that smile on his face.

You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened.

Reita stays close to Ruki- close friends, nothing more- under the persuasion of the other members; the one and only privilege he allows himself to possess in the younger male’s life. Ruki never suspects a thing about him- about them, oblivious to the sorrow that emerges when his back’s turned; the anguish, the agony he puts the bassist through when he’s with Kai; the longing that stems from his friendly gestures. He doesn’t know- doesn’t even notice- how Reita stiffens at his touch, how he shies away when they are too close together. Reita knows that Ruki doesn’t see these; the little things he tries, but is unable to completely bury. Ruki doesn’t see them, and he plans to keep it that way.

Ruki doesn’t see… but he does feel it. There’s this strange, tingly sensation that starts at the bottom of his stomach when he’s around the elder; a feeling that slowly builds up till he feels like gushing and fawning over the blonde like an obsessed fan girl. There’s this spark of something-something he can’t comprehend- that ignites in him when he sees him; a shock that shoots up his arm at the briefest of touches. There’s something about the way Reita holds himself, that makes his heart ache and he just wants to cry and tell him to let go- because it’s going to be ok. And more and more, without realizing, Ruki finds that Reita has already invaded his mind- like a plague, his presence demands attention, and he’s not about to leave.

How long has it been since I fell in love with you? 
My feelings only increase 
Will you notice them 
Even though I've never once put them into words?

(A/N: Haru Haru, without words, Eternal snow)

reituki, remember when it rained

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