friendship.
A thing that has been on my mind a lot for the last few years is friendship. Or better said; losses of friendship.
I don’t know how or why, but in the last few years I’ve lost quit a lot of friends. Never with any fights, arguments or bad words spoken about each other. Just the simple case of two people, who were very close before, drifting apart. Until in the end, they are nothing but strangers. The number they used to call or texts a lot still in their phone. But not used anymore, and maybe their number even changed, you have no idea. You just don’t talk anymore, and somehow pretend the once precious friendship never existed.
I don’t know if it’s me, maybe I’m really the worst friend in the world. But it seems like how harder I try to avoid people slipping away from me, the faster it goes. I try so hard to be always there for them. To go to them when they are sick. To understand why again they don’t ask me how I’m doing because the fight with a boyfriend is more important. To text how an exam at school went. Just little things.
I don’t think I’m a bad person. Of course I’m not perfect, nobody is. But I try, so hard to be that perfect friend. Maybe I bother them too much. Maybe I’m stupid to keep holding on when the other person is definitely not interested. Maybe I’m stupid for actually caring about friendship.
I don’t know, I just keep losing friends. Over and over again. It keeps happening, and I don’t know how to stop it. It scares me a lot, I don’t want to be left alone.