i feel beautiful when i move my body. i feel lovely and wonderful when i dance. i love to feel strong. i had a moment last week. i was in spin (i have been taking spin class in the gym again) and i didn't have my glasses on so i could really only see my outline. even though i am not as thin as i would like to be i still have a beautiful shape. i ( Read more... )

I have a cold. this complicates everything. i can't take my normal meds because i cant take cold meds if i take my arthritis meds. so in all i just feel awful. I spent the whole day today sleeping. i just woke up about 2 hours ago. this was the first time i was awake from more than 10 minutes all day today. well hopefully this will just get this ( Read more... )

i went to Hawaii, came home, worked, hung out with my cuz while she looked for a job and a house. other than that, still fighting to have good days. work is work. i am about 3 weeks late for my shot and i hurt. but it should be here on Tuesday. other than that i have been wanting to climb so horribly bad. I took all of my gear down and sorted it. ( Read more... )

so i had some good months... and now the meds are not working so well again. I am tired of this but i am not feeling as terribly as i have in the past. i am beginning to just adjust to this is how my life is. when i am feeling good, i lose 10 pounds eat well work out and over all glow and bounce all over the place. when i feel like shit i crave ( Read more... )

so surgery went remarkably well. my left ovary was stuck like glue to my insides and it was unpleasant but they got it out and that part of my life is feeling ever so much better. I did end up with some infection. because of the arthritis medication i have to take to tamp down the auto-immune diseases... well they did a great job and i had an ( Read more... )

i have 7 short days to deal with pain and feeling sick and awful. this is almost over. i just have to get through this week. this has been such a long hard time of dealing with all of this. I want the pain to be over. I am ready for the pain to be over ( Read more... )

i have surgery in 2 weeks. it can not come soon enough. today is not a great day. i am so uncomfortable. about all i can do is sit on the couch with a heating pad wait for the day to be over. on the plus side i have had the opportunity to watch a lot of movies. not that i can pay attention to them all. but i am watching... between naps ( Read more... )

i was owey yesterday all day. I woke up this morning feeling shitty but determined to go to work and get some things done even after i fell over in the closet this morning. apparently i was in so much pain i was a little off balance. so i got to work at 5:30 and started working. and then i started having trouble working. my boy started to spasm, ( Read more... )

one of the weird things that happens with this disease is when people don't know me very well and make comments like "you seem much more smiley over the past few weeks. Whats going on?" it reminds me of how much better i feel, and seem like i feel just because the meds are working somewhat. I explained to this person that this is what i am like ( Read more... )

well this has been a lot more simple than i thought it was going to be. I will be having my oophorectomy on May 3rd at 9:10 am. i asked for what i wanted and i got it. Dr B is going to go in and excise all of the endomitriosis again and remove my ovaries. the bad news is i will have to go on hormone therapy for the next 10 to 15 years. but so be it ( Read more... )