dont read this, okay.
im going to try this and speak from my heart here. maybe you should just blame the hormones, but something isn't right. i guess i did something wrong along the way, and i dont know how to fix it. a couple weeks ago i thought i was really popular but i guess not. i hope in about a week i will be happier, but im sorry if whatever i did was wrong. i guess im wishing for someone to teach me i guess how to do things right, which i guess everyone else can do. since they were invited to teh parties and stuff and i wasnt. im just wondering where i went wrong. i never considered myself to be that low, but i guess i was wrong. i can only hold this mask above my head for so long and its starting to slip. im so sorry everyone if i've hurt you in some way. the image i thought i would be by this age is all but broken, all those images are always broken, so i have no idea why i keep thinking its going to be different in college. i keep telling myself ill be all cool and outgoing but i have no idea even how to be like that. i think ill fail at that too. its just what i want the most out of anything. and i know prom isnt a big deal but its all the principle of the thing for me. i dunno. i wont say anything so i wont hurt anyones feelings or so someone wont be like ooo look at maggie with her stupid little problems. they're so insignificant. but i think this is bad. i might need help for this or something. im slipping into this little hole. im so sorry everyone. im so sorry. i just want to know what i did wrong to get this. i guess whoever is getting back at me for being a bitch a lot. i guess this is what i deserve. i know this sounds stupid but its all the principle of the thing. i want to be a good human being and want to live a good life. oh god. i want someone in my arms to hold at night. it feels so empty now. im so sorry.