Chapter 33 Without You
I have another update! I have the next one half done, thanks to everyone again! I really appreciate your loyalty.
33.
(Taylor)
I sat silently, as Lily lost it. She cried off and on for hours berating herself for being a terrible person, before she confessed that Jeremy had kissed her and she had let him.
At first I was pissed. Then I thought, I would have done the same thing if I had been him. I would have squeezed every drop of guilt I could out of her, if it might change her mind in my favor.
I kissed her tears away and tried to assure her that she wasn't Satan. She had calmed down and was sitting quietly next to me on the sofa, her head cradled on my legs as I stroked her hair.
I couldn't help wonder what angle Jeremy was working on. He had gone from being the sweet boyfriend, to the jealous ex, and now the heartbroken wannabe buddy. I knew in my heart of hearts that his intentions were not to be a good friend to her, but to worm his way back into her life and heart.
I decided that if I had anything to do with it, he would never talk to her again. I refused to lose her to him. Period.
She sat up, her eyes looking like red puffy wounds on her pretty face, “I guess I should bring in that box of stuff.”
I let her go, knowing I couldn't help her carry anything in, but when she came back in, I sat by her as she opened it to look inside.
“Jeremy said it was some clothes and books and stuff.” She said when she saw my curious look. She sat on the coffee table the box between her legs as she opened and peered into it.
I waited semi bored, I could care less about girl clothes, unless they were her underthings. I perked up though, when I saw her cheeks pinken and her hands slam the box flaps shut.
“”Whoa, what the hell?” I sat up from the sofa.
She bit her lip and stood up. She marched, with the box in her arms, back outside. When she came back in her cheeks were still pink and she didn't look at me. “Hey, are you okay?”
She nodded, “Yeah. I'm gonna go lay down. I have a headache.”
I watched her get up and walk with heavy steps to our bedroom. She wasn't being honest with me and that hurt. I got up and went to sit next to her on the bed, “What's in that box?”
“Nothing, some old stuff.” she mumbled from under the covers.
I pulled the sheet down, “Lily, talk to me. What's in that box that is making you blush and want to get away from me?”
She sat up, the sheet pooling at her waist, “It's just some old stuff. I'd rather never see again. That's all.”
I stood up and said, “If you can't tell me, then I'll go look for myself.”
She grabbed my arm, “No stay here. I'll tell you.”
I sat back down, noting the worried and embarrassed look on her face, “It is just clothes, right?”
She looked away, “Sort of.”
She pulled my hands into hers, “It's mostly a bunch of lingerie and pictures.”
I could feel my lips tug into a smile. She was embarrassed by some skimpy lacy undergarments? I thought she was tougher than that. “So?”
She sighed as if relieved, “You know how I am.”
“Go get the box, Lily.” I demanded.
She rolled over and said, “No. You don't need to see those things.”
I found myself wondering if Jeremy and I had the same tastes in sexy underwear for Lily. Her flushed cheeks told me we didn't.
With her back to me I got up and decided that I would not let this guy hold this kind of power over her. “I want to see them.”
“No.”
“No?” I asked incredulously.
She turned to look at me, her eyes held me where I was. There was fear and embarrassment in them. “I don't want you to. Please Taylor. If you don't want me to die in front of you, you'll leave that box alone.”
I sat back down, “What are you afraid of? I just bought you some sexys for Christmas. You don't really think that I'm going to think ill of that, do you?”
She stared hard at me and I felt the air leave the room before she said, “Those aren't what bother me.”
My eyebrows raised on their own, what was she saying?
As if reading my mind she added, “Jeremy liked to take pictures.”
“What does that mean?” I asked as she sat up.
She clutched my hand to her chest, “Jeremy liked to play photographer. I don't want to talk about the things I did with him”
Understanding hit me, “Lily, I don't care what you and he did together. All I care about is what you and I have to do to be happy.” I leaned over and kissed her, “Our tomorrows together are all that matter to me, not your yesterdays with him.”
I must have said the right thing, because she started kissing me, letting me know, I was gonna get lucky.
(Lily)
We walked in the pounding bass vibrating my chest as we moved as a unit to a table close to the dance floor. Taylor, Zac and I took our seats as a waitress came to take our drink orders. I decided to be cliche and get a Cosmopolitan as the boys got tall beers. We weren't even three sips into our drinks when a girl came to snag Zac away to the dance floor.
Taylor leaned into me and kissed me, taking my hand in his, “I'm sorry I can't take you out to dance.”
“Want to go play pool?” I asked, not at all upset that he couldn't take me out on the dance floor. I had become perfectly happy to sit with him.
He pulled my chair closer to his and draped his arm around me. He kissed my hair and my cheek as I closed my eyes and let warmth flow through me. “If you want to, I do.”
I shook my head, this was where I felt best. Next to him. We watched the dance floor in silence as the beat of the music vibrated through my chest.
I felt Taylor stiffen next to me and sit up a little straighter. I tried looking in the same area as his gaze, but he leaned his face in and captured my lips with his. I smiled at him, “Nice try. What don't you want me to see?”
Just then, I saw my friends coming toward us. Jaime, her boyfriend Pete and Jeremy stopped at our table. “Look who's out on the town.” Jaime said her eyes pierced through me. Pete looked past us, clearly uncomfortable. Jeremy looked as if he might puke on the table.
Thoughts of running out of the club danced in front of my eyes, even as Taylor's strong grip on my shoulder held me in place. I couldn't make my eyes meet theirs, but Taylor sat up straighter, with a strong voice said, “Happy New Year! It's good to see you getting out Jeremy.” He turned to give his full, charming attention to Jaime and Pete, “You must be friends of Lily's.”
Pete turned to look at Jeremy and shrugged as Jaime answered for them, “We were.”
Taylor shrugged, “That's too bad, I would have invited you to have a drink with us.” He turned to me and smiled as he squeezed me reassuringly, “But we're here to have a good time, so if you'll excuse yourselves. It was great to meet you.”
I felt my jaw drop. He had just told my friends to go fuck off. Jaime, not one to be put aside, pulled out a chair and gave the other two a look that said they should sit down too. “I'd love to catch up with my old friend.”
I gulped and took a big swallow of my drink before smiling awkwardly, “Sounds great.”
(Taylor)
I watched Lily fade away and become a guilt ridden shadow of the strong woman I knew and loved. It irritated me how guilty she acted. She and Jeremy had broken up long before the two of us had happened. It didn't matter that there were feelings she was suppressing while they were together. She broke up with him, waited and we happened. So what? I was tired of her feeling responsible for Jeremy's ridiculous hurt feelings.
I wanted to feel guilty too. Seeing his broken heart out on his sleeve as he pounded drinks back and kept his gaze fixated on Lily, I would have felt bad, if I hadn't been so pissed that he wasn't even trying to hide it, making Lily feel even worse.
I did my best to keep the mood light, even with Lily's bitch friend, being an ass to both of us. I kept smiling and when Zac got back to the table, I felt like I had a little back up. Lily sat, eyes on the table and her shoulders slumped in like a scolded school girl. I leaned in and asked, “At some point are you going to jump in here and say something?”
She turned her face into mine and I saw tears glistening, “I can't. I feel paralyzed.”
I looked at her and decided I needed to be bold. It was up to me to save her, the way she had me so many times.
“Well, it has been fun letting you make Lily feel uncomfortable for your own pleasure, since she didn't do anything wrong.” I said to Jaime before turning to Jeremy, “It's been a lot of fun watching you moon over her as I sit right here, too.” I stretched and leaned into her, “Why don't you go get the Rover.”
Grateful to beat it out of there, she scurried away, leaving me to turn back to them, “Because you are such good friends to Lily, I am gonna let you in on a little secret.” I looked at the three of them and said a big grin spreading across my face, “We are both happier than we have ever been, with each other. Tonight at midnight I will be proposing to her and I am pretty sure she will say yes. I just wanted you, her truest of true friends to know.” I stood up to leave as strongly as a man on crutches could.
Jeremy let out a pained groan and asked, “Are you serious? Do you have a ring?”
I looked him in the eyes and found nothing but pain. I thought for a moment that maybe I should back off, but I wanted him out of her life for good and the only way to do that was to make him understand, her life no longer had any room for him. “Yes, I am serious. I have something more important than the ring, I have her heart.” I said, hoping that memories of his humiliating proposal would silence him.
I watched him stagger back to his seat a broken man. My aim had been dead on. It didn't feel as good as I had thought it would, I shook it off.