please don't take me serious
all I want is to be content, I'm not asking for the world or maybe I am. I just can't stand life. That's a cop out right?? Most of you would say I'm giving up without even trying. Well, I am fucking trying and I am sick of it. I'm sick of being crazy. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and hating my reflection so much that I am literally now peeling off my skin. Tryin' to make myself as ugly as I feel inside. I constantly make up all sorts of different stories as to what happened to my face. All I want to do is scream on the top of my lungs "I did this!!" I wish for one day I could live be okay y'know? It feels like nothing is worth it... it seems nothing is meaningful...I am a waste of space and I should dispose of myself and give someone else a chance...someone more deserving. I don't know where I belong, i'm almost certain I don't belong anywhere. I feel like I don't have a "home". That's miserable. I don't know where I'm am going and people tell me that's okay. IT ISN'T! I have no plan. I NEED a plan. I don't know what I want and I am about to throw my life away because I don't want the agony of a choice. I feel so selfish, spoiled. At least I have a choice. I don't want it. I am just sick of it all. I want one day that my skin isn't crawling. I just hate myself too much, I can't get control of anything and the future doesn't seem to exist. I'm so sick of feeling like a bag of shit. I'm so sick of feeling like i've already ruined my life. most of all i am so sick of hearing the "this too shall pass" AHHHHH!! what if it doesn't?? I don't remember a day I didn't feel this way