(no subject)
In honour of April Fool's Day, or possibly my own insanity, I have submitted several 5 things/SG-1 fics HERE
The 5 reasons Teal'c is Afraid of Clowns, The 5 Times June Cleaver Possessed Vala, and The 5 Ba'al Clones That Ran Away and Joined the Circus.
Or under my LJ cut
The 5 Reasons Teal'c is Afraid of Clowns
My first 2 entries ever, if it's not funny, then funny April Fools joke. Ha!
Unbeta'd, all mistaked=s are my own. (Ha! the funny!)
- After first coming to Earth and attempting to acclimate himself to Earth culture, Major Carter lent him her copy of Stephen Kings IT.
- After Mitchels first team movie night included a screening of Super Size Me.
- After Jack forced him to watch hours of the Simpson, including the episode with Bart's clown bed. Teal'c too, fears that if he sleeps, the clown will eat him.
-After Daniel Jackson tells Teal'c that clowns remind him of Gluk'achu, the ancient Jaffa spirit who causes male impotency.
-Teal'c trusts no man with feet that big.
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5 Ways That Vala Was Possessed By June Cleaver
Spoiler Alert: Momento Mori
Also unbeta'd, and I really had to reach for this one, so I'll ask for your forgiveness in advance.
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-It involved nostagia weekend at Daniel's, a really old TV set, and a lightning strike.
-During the events of Momento Mori, while Athena tried to pry her inner most secrets from her mind with the memory device, Vala concentrated on the most inane, most insignificant thing she could think of on the spot - Leave It To Beaver. When the machine blew, thoughts of Leave It to Beaver were all that was left.
- During the events of Momento Mori, Saul, the diner owner, agreed to let her stay on one condition. Val had to help him create his life long dream of being Ward Cleaver. It mostly involved wearing heels and pearls at the same time, and sleeping in seperate beds. Val didn't remember much of her life before, but she was pretty sure this wasn't the worst thing she'd ever been through.
- While rifling through some of Daniels artifacts, Vala comes across a case with a neaklace inside. She doesn't bother looking at the alien warning, that she couldn't read anyway. If she had been able to read that it said (roughly tranlated as)"Beware those who would live in the past, especially pasts that never really existed" maybe she would have hestiated puting it on, then again maybe not.
- Ouija Boards really are bad juju.
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The 5 Ba'als who ran away and joined the circus
Okay, I lied, I'm posting three stories.
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- Ba'al didn't know you shouldn't clone clones. By the time he realized that each generation of clone was a little more skewed then the last, a bunch of them had escaped. He recaptured most but 3 were unaccounted for. Years later he saw them on a televised program featuring Cirque de Soliel gymnasts. That day, Ba'al cused his host body's gumby like flexiblity.
- In a plea bargain with Stargate Command, after his forces had been defeated, he agreed to (among other things) 100 hours of community service at childrens parties. Ba'al hoped that if he was wearing make up maybe no one would recognize him. That hope was destroyed when Gen. O'Neill showed up with a camera and a big smirk.
- One of the clones had just had enough: no dental, long hours and a high mortality rate. Screw it, he thought, I'm getting a job at McDonalds. It was just his luck that all new employees had to wear the costume and greet kids, while on their first day working there.
Apparently coming down off of doctor prescribed pain killers does wonders for my creativity. But does nothing for my people skills Apologies to everyone but Shallowesque, for having to put up with me. Hisses and general grumbling at Shallowesque.
EDIT: Sympathy for Bush/The Devil, by the Stones
mmmm, thats good satire.
For rockkei...I'm not an Addict, by K's Choice
The 5 reasons Teal'c is Afraid of Clowns, The 5 Times June Cleaver Possessed Vala, and The 5 Ba'al Clones That Ran Away and Joined the Circus.
Or under my LJ cut
The 5 Reasons Teal'c is Afraid of Clowns
My first 2 entries ever, if it's not funny, then funny April Fools joke. Ha!
Unbeta'd, all mistaked=s are my own. (Ha! the funny!)
- After first coming to Earth and attempting to acclimate himself to Earth culture, Major Carter lent him her copy of Stephen Kings IT.
- After Mitchels first team movie night included a screening of Super Size Me.
- After Jack forced him to watch hours of the Simpson, including the episode with Bart's clown bed. Teal'c too, fears that if he sleeps, the clown will eat him.
-After Daniel Jackson tells Teal'c that clowns remind him of Gluk'achu, the ancient Jaffa spirit who causes male impotency.
-Teal'c trusts no man with feet that big.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 Ways That Vala Was Possessed By June Cleaver
Spoiler Alert: Momento Mori
Also unbeta'd, and I really had to reach for this one, so I'll ask for your forgiveness in advance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-It involved nostagia weekend at Daniel's, a really old TV set, and a lightning strike.
-During the events of Momento Mori, while Athena tried to pry her inner most secrets from her mind with the memory device, Vala concentrated on the most inane, most insignificant thing she could think of on the spot - Leave It To Beaver. When the machine blew, thoughts of Leave It to Beaver were all that was left.
- During the events of Momento Mori, Saul, the diner owner, agreed to let her stay on one condition. Val had to help him create his life long dream of being Ward Cleaver. It mostly involved wearing heels and pearls at the same time, and sleeping in seperate beds. Val didn't remember much of her life before, but she was pretty sure this wasn't the worst thing she'd ever been through.
- While rifling through some of Daniels artifacts, Vala comes across a case with a neaklace inside. She doesn't bother looking at the alien warning, that she couldn't read anyway. If she had been able to read that it said (roughly tranlated as)"Beware those who would live in the past, especially pasts that never really existed" maybe she would have hestiated puting it on, then again maybe not.
- Ouija Boards really are bad juju.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 5 Ba'als who ran away and joined the circus
Okay, I lied, I'm posting three stories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Ba'al didn't know you shouldn't clone clones. By the time he realized that each generation of clone was a little more skewed then the last, a bunch of them had escaped. He recaptured most but 3 were unaccounted for. Years later he saw them on a televised program featuring Cirque de Soliel gymnasts. That day, Ba'al cused his host body's gumby like flexiblity.
- In a plea bargain with Stargate Command, after his forces had been defeated, he agreed to (among other things) 100 hours of community service at childrens parties. Ba'al hoped that if he was wearing make up maybe no one would recognize him. That hope was destroyed when Gen. O'Neill showed up with a camera and a big smirk.
- One of the clones had just had enough: no dental, long hours and a high mortality rate. Screw it, he thought, I'm getting a job at McDonalds. It was just his luck that all new employees had to wear the costume and greet kids, while on their first day working there.
Apparently coming down off of doctor prescribed pain killers does wonders for my creativity. But does nothing for my people skills Apologies to everyone but Shallowesque, for having to put up with me. Hisses and general grumbling at Shallowesque.
EDIT: Sympathy for Bush/The Devil, by the Stones
mmmm, thats good satire.
For rockkei...I'm not an Addict, by K's Choice