In need of a relationship vaccine
I need to keep on the straight and narrow, and not get distracted by the attentions of emotional dead-end guys. Or any guys, really. No amount of companionship and cuddling is worth it. I'm hoping that Mr. Drama settles down with the professor chick soon so that he's not out there as a loose, hormonal end. While I was working out at the gym last night, he left me a voicemail where he was all sweet (or just friendly? Who the hell knows?) and wanting to check in and stuff. I called him back and got his voicemail, so I just left a message in return, but argh. I wish he hadn't done that. I don't need him stirring shit up.
In an effort to inoculate myself against the desire to date, I went and finally checked out a few messages on my dating profile that I'd received over the past few months (I've been so uninterested in getting back out there that I haven't bothered to read the messages until now). Sure enough, the guys who messaged me are all old white dudes. Boner-killer! Also on the one site where I haven’t yet completed my profile but saw someone who really intrigued me, I went to look at his profile but found that he’s gone, alas (I’m sure he met someone really quickly, because he was super cute and seemed really cool). Looking at all those profile photos of guys just gave me a big stomachache, so I think it’s working! Also I’m listening to a really sad electro-dance song that R. had me listen to once (Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend”), just to remind me what shits guys can be. Man, R. was really gay (if not in sexuality, at least taste-wise -- his favorite band was Depeche Mode and he LOVED Robyn).
Anyway, I know I'm not ready to get back out there. The thought of Actor Guy infuriates me sometimes, and I think about him more than I probably should. I suppose it's better than sitting around longing for him, but yeah, I have a ways to go still.
In an effort to inoculate myself against the desire to date, I went and finally checked out a few messages on my dating profile that I'd received over the past few months (I've been so uninterested in getting back out there that I haven't bothered to read the messages until now). Sure enough, the guys who messaged me are all old white dudes. Boner-killer! Also on the one site where I haven’t yet completed my profile but saw someone who really intrigued me, I went to look at his profile but found that he’s gone, alas (I’m sure he met someone really quickly, because he was super cute and seemed really cool). Looking at all those profile photos of guys just gave me a big stomachache, so I think it’s working! Also I’m listening to a really sad electro-dance song that R. had me listen to once (Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend”), just to remind me what shits guys can be. Man, R. was really gay (if not in sexuality, at least taste-wise -- his favorite band was Depeche Mode and he LOVED Robyn).
Click to viewAnyway, I know I'm not ready to get back out there. The thought of Actor Guy infuriates me sometimes, and I think about him more than I probably should. I suppose it's better than sitting around longing for him, but yeah, I have a ways to go still.