Unexpected turns

[muffinandmochi]

Having trouble living in the moment and holding things lightly. Must try harder not to grasp at things so desperately once I've found them. I'm afraid I will crush what I have. A part of me is terrified that this incredible connection that I've found will be stifled by my insecurities and fears. I am not sure how to get a handle on it, except

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thoughts from Herman - part 3

[anonymous]

But for me it's this - i took a leap of faith. a big one. i was terrified of marriage, mortgage, potential kids, suburbs, loss of career self, etc. Truth be told, my career has suffered significantly. Now whether or not that has anything to do with my getting married and having kids is up for debate. Even if I didn't marry/kids, perhaps my career would have nose-dived anyway due to the changed economics of Hollywood. That being said, if I had to choose between my career or my kids, I'd without hesitation, choose my kids. I feel closest to creation through my kids and through my wife. I feel the closest to the creator/god/God/mother spirit, etc. And in the big picture, that was one of the main reasons for my pursuit of a more creative life in the first place - finding deepest meaning. BTW - if i had no kids and was with capitalistic woman only, i believe my life would have similar deep meaning. just a bit different.

But one step at a time. An actor does not need to be feared, it/he just needs to be understood. Under the skin of a soul-mate who just happens to be an actor is just a boy, wanting a girl to love him. : )