(no subject)
so right now its 5:58am and i just woke up out of nowhere
then i lit an incense, turned off the light in my room, and started up my sleep mix on itunes
which got me thinking, yo this is the perfect time for live-fucking-journal
so whats up???
lots more crap changing in my life. i f'in start school in a few short hours and i still live home. i just cannot believe i let this happen to myself. i thought i was smarter than this, but im just gonna flow, see where this takes me.
i guess the biggest news in my life recently is that i let another girl ruin my mood. whats new eh? nothing thats what! (i didn't really need you to answer that) for some reason i just give ovaried beings too much control over my happiness and it suuuucks. Really, i've been thinking about it though recently, and i think i know why. All my life i've just enjoyed helping/taking care of people. and having a girlfriend is the ultimate care-giving responsibilty for someone my age, and i think i've just tricked myself into thinking its almost necessary for me to seek out a female to quench my caregiver nature. too bad i suck at it, but i still seek it out endlessly. i guess i just want to do something right with my life, and seeing as i normally have been pretty good at taking care of people i look for a relationship. plus i miss hugs, and watching movies with someone else, and red fuzzies(yes you), and a lot of things.
woo that woulda been bad....
well as fun as it is to write livejournals drunk on fatigue i think ive worn out my welcome goodnight
then i lit an incense, turned off the light in my room, and started up my sleep mix on itunes
which got me thinking, yo this is the perfect time for live-fucking-journal
so whats up???
lots more crap changing in my life. i f'in start school in a few short hours and i still live home. i just cannot believe i let this happen to myself. i thought i was smarter than this, but im just gonna flow, see where this takes me.
i guess the biggest news in my life recently is that i let another girl ruin my mood. whats new eh? nothing thats what! (i didn't really need you to answer that) for some reason i just give ovaried beings too much control over my happiness and it suuuucks. Really, i've been thinking about it though recently, and i think i know why. All my life i've just enjoyed helping/taking care of people. and having a girlfriend is the ultimate care-giving responsibilty for someone my age, and i think i've just tricked myself into thinking its almost necessary for me to seek out a female to quench my caregiver nature. too bad i suck at it, but i still seek it out endlessly. i guess i just want to do something right with my life, and seeing as i normally have been pretty good at taking care of people i look for a relationship. plus i miss hugs, and watching movies with someone else, and red fuzzies(yes you), and a lot of things.
woo that woulda been bad....
well as fun as it is to write livejournals drunk on fatigue i think ive worn out my welcome goodnight