(no subject)
I haven't posted in a long time and when I finally do, the subject is going to be morbid.
I went to my first ever funeral today. Not sure how I exactly managed to never go to one, missed my own father's funeral but went today to one. A co-worker of H's died on Monday. It was unexpected and very sad. He was my age. I was nervous about it but figured it'd be ok. We didn't go to the wake on Thursday night, where I knew the body was being viewed but it didn't occur to me that the funeral would be open casket. It was weird. Hard reconciling the shell I saw to the person he was. I found my tummy was queasy for a while after the service.
Of course, the funeral made me think of my own mortality. Hard not to when you experience something like this. Definately something that one faces as one gets older. I'm not as obsessively anxious about it as I used to be though I'm certainly no where near being reconciled to it and nor should I be. Still quite young :) But certainly realizing more and more that each day is a gift and that I want to do the best I can. Anyway, not going to wallow in morbidity. . .it's very easy to do but not a place I want to be.
I went to my first ever funeral today. Not sure how I exactly managed to never go to one, missed my own father's funeral but went today to one. A co-worker of H's died on Monday. It was unexpected and very sad. He was my age. I was nervous about it but figured it'd be ok. We didn't go to the wake on Thursday night, where I knew the body was being viewed but it didn't occur to me that the funeral would be open casket. It was weird. Hard reconciling the shell I saw to the person he was. I found my tummy was queasy for a while after the service.
Of course, the funeral made me think of my own mortality. Hard not to when you experience something like this. Definately something that one faces as one gets older. I'm not as obsessively anxious about it as I used to be though I'm certainly no where near being reconciled to it and nor should I be. Still quite young :) But certainly realizing more and more that each day is a gift and that I want to do the best I can. Anyway, not going to wallow in morbidity. . .it's very easy to do but not a place I want to be.