understand what ive become, it wasnt my design..
yup....i dont even know where to start...first of all..i yuked this morning..for no reason..and i havent been eating much lately anyways...i think my body is rejecting food...i think its losing its will to live...sometimes im starving and i cant bring myself to eat..i get sick at the thought of putting it in my mouth, chewing, swallowing..its blows..anyways... angelo enlisted in the army and im scared to death....after losing linda, yamil and matthew last year...i couldnt handle losing someone else...i just cant...also... i was getting ass from someone and now i think he doesnt want to anymore and i dont want to keep asking and annoy him..but i really want to fuck him again ... im so confused..my life kinda definitely sucks right now...i could crawl in a fucking hole and die and i really wouldnt care...i need something..and im not sure what but somethings got to give...i need something good to happen to me for once...ahhhh...sorry, you guys know how i get sometimes...im sure tomorrow ill feel better...but all morning ive been like weeping-for what i dont know..maybe for me...someone ought to once in a while...ohh this needs to be repeated again cause this line keeps playing over and over again in my head: "understand what ive become... it wasnt my design.. and people everywhere think something better than i am But I miss you, I miss, 'cause I liked it, 'Cause I liked it, when I was out there. Do you know this? Do you know you did not find me. You did not find. Does anyone care? " and im spent ...