So, what's the deal with me?
I'm like so unhappy wiht myself. I hate being depressed. It sucks. So, I am done with my junky friends, shit I can't even call tem friends. I don't think they truly ever were. I think I'm going to keep people at a distance now. I'm looking out for me. It really gets me down further than a hooker sucking cock for a dollar. I invest so much into people, I bare my soul, I TRUST them. and it ges me fucked over. Rachel only wants me around when she has no one else to hang wiht because she say's she can't stand me or she needs info on her exgirlfriend. She thinks i'm egotistical. You know what yeah so what if I worry about my appearance before I go out. I'm sorry i'm not like her to where I don't like being seen looking like I just rolled out of bed. Gina is busy with her life. I love her but when I try to hang with her she'd rather sit and play an online game at home than spend time with me. Sarah has this boyfriend now and doesn't have time for me. We plan to get together but then he won't want to drive since she can't now. So they want me to always drive everywhere. Like if we go get a drink. I'm sorry I don't want to drive all over with liquor in me. I hang with Lena and Rexy but i'm still getting to know them. They're amazing but I guess i'm just waiting for me to fuck up something else. Cheri moved away and only called me when she was piss drunk. Wanting me to drive to Tampa all the time. However, when I said come see me she said it was too far of a drive. So it's only ok for me to come see you? PSHH uh no. I'm done being there for people. I'm done with people using me. I am sick of NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE. It's pissing me off that fucked up people ruin my perception of everyone. I really hate the human race at times.