truth
has anybody ever noticed how people always say "I'm not like other girls/guys. I'm different than everybody else."? i've come to a realizations this week, That statement is a load of shit. Once again I've had my heart broken. but this time it's so worse than the last. I stopped dating for a year and a half, i just decided no more pain, no more sorry, and no more waisting money. so then i met this girl last april and it was one of those moments when i first saw her where i immediatley felt major chemistry. just by looking at her, i've never had one of those "love at first site moments" for lack of better words. every little detail was so perfect. and now shit changes, people change, people get scared and what i've learned about fear... is it controls people.
You do things you wouldn't normally logically do in a normal situation, such as in horror movies when the dumb bimbo runs up the stairs instead of grabbing a chair or knife and kicking the bad guys ass. Fear controls your actions in irrational ways... and that person who was different than everyone else, does the same thing every other person does when they are scared, hurt themselves or someone around them. Because even in the horror movies then end result is someone getting hurt by the actions of the dumb bimbo. whether the killer was after her because she screwed some guy that the killer hated while he was obsessed with said bimbo... all those people got killed in the crossfire because said bimbo was running away. now dumb bimbo's screwing stupid guys that psycho killers hate has nothing to do with my heart ache directly, but i'm just throwin examples out here.
so now, i've been drunk 4 nights in a row, if i get on the internet i get sick to my stomache thinking about her because we use to lay in her bed with both our laptops and look up stuff online showing each other. i can't stomache being at work because we work together and seeing her rips me apart even more. plus everyone in the store loved us as a couple... she became such a great part of my life, that everything i normally get great satisfaction from alone. now is all tied in with her.
so why am i typing today... because i'm in the place where she and i really got to know each other. I'm house sitting for this rich guy, and she use to always come over and we'd watch movies or talk, or i'd make us a romantic dinner and we'd eat over candle light. then when everything got quiet at night we'd cuddle and listen to the creepy noises the house makes. now when the house makes a creepy noise... i take another shot. it's become my drinking game. only drinkin makes me think about her even more due to other events that occurred between the 2 of us. (some good, some really not so good at all).
wow, i'm amazed at how much i've typed tonight, i havent done this in a long time but i just had to share some things with the world. the house is settling again, i'm going to poor another shot now. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
edit: i failed to mention that despite the pain i'm going through i must say that i honestly feel that this pain is only temporary. I really think things will work out between me and her. Just gut feelings you know?
You do things you wouldn't normally logically do in a normal situation, such as in horror movies when the dumb bimbo runs up the stairs instead of grabbing a chair or knife and kicking the bad guys ass. Fear controls your actions in irrational ways... and that person who was different than everyone else, does the same thing every other person does when they are scared, hurt themselves or someone around them. Because even in the horror movies then end result is someone getting hurt by the actions of the dumb bimbo. whether the killer was after her because she screwed some guy that the killer hated while he was obsessed with said bimbo... all those people got killed in the crossfire because said bimbo was running away. now dumb bimbo's screwing stupid guys that psycho killers hate has nothing to do with my heart ache directly, but i'm just throwin examples out here.
so now, i've been drunk 4 nights in a row, if i get on the internet i get sick to my stomache thinking about her because we use to lay in her bed with both our laptops and look up stuff online showing each other. i can't stomache being at work because we work together and seeing her rips me apart even more. plus everyone in the store loved us as a couple... she became such a great part of my life, that everything i normally get great satisfaction from alone. now is all tied in with her.
so why am i typing today... because i'm in the place where she and i really got to know each other. I'm house sitting for this rich guy, and she use to always come over and we'd watch movies or talk, or i'd make us a romantic dinner and we'd eat over candle light. then when everything got quiet at night we'd cuddle and listen to the creepy noises the house makes. now when the house makes a creepy noise... i take another shot. it's become my drinking game. only drinkin makes me think about her even more due to other events that occurred between the 2 of us. (some good, some really not so good at all).
wow, i'm amazed at how much i've typed tonight, i havent done this in a long time but i just had to share some things with the world. the house is settling again, i'm going to poor another shot now. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
edit: i failed to mention that despite the pain i'm going through i must say that i honestly feel that this pain is only temporary. I really think things will work out between me and her. Just gut feelings you know?