Contemplation of the state of affairs I'm in.
For the past few nights i havent been able to sleep. I've been working on some projects, some artwork here and there and I've also had many things on my mind. The other night a friend of mine was having the same problem so I talked to her online for a few hours. She is only 13 years old, but she helped me realize many things.
I will never know the pain she feels, I could never beging to imagine what it's like to lose your father when your only 10 or 11 years old. See her problem that night was she had one of the days where she remembered a person who has passed, and couldn't get them off her mind. She is afraid that because of her age that she will grow up and forget him completely. My heart grew heavy for her pain.
My heart grew weak, and tears formed in my eyes, so I did something that I stopped doing, I shared with her my wisdom. I was afraid to at first because it's been a long time sense I shared anything like that with another person, but I did what I could to help her.
I told her I could never understand completely how she feels, because my father is still alive and even if he passed now i'm not the same age she was when her father died. I told her that I did have my best friend pass shortly over two years ago. And that days do go by where I don't think about her, but I can never forget her because of the impact she made on my heart. I also told her not to worry about forgetting her father, because one day, nomatter what goes on or how busy she is, she will see something that reminds her of him. It is my understanding that she has been doing a little better sense then. I am sorry for your pain, and I mourn your loss.
But when I mentioned my best friend it got me to thinking.Her name was Mary. She was this sweet lady from my church who I sat next to every Sunday morning. This wasn't something that happened on purpose, it was just because she chose to sit near the teenagers. I got to know Mary over the years because she and I would tap people on the shoulders and blame it on someone else, or make funny jokes under our breath about the pastor, and even occasionally threw bits of paper at sleeping old people. One day I had called Mary either to see how she had been, or to wish her a happy birthday (I can't remember which it was because it was years ago). But when I called she seemed to be in tears. Appparently the guy who cut her grass for her decided he was going to just not do it anymore, and her grass had gotten horribly high. I never told her of my plans, I just talked with her like we always talked. The next day my father and I loaded the trailer up and took our lawn mower to her house. When I knocked on her door she was confused at first then when I told her I was there to cut her grass she broke into tears. We didnt just cut her grass, we made her yard look amazing, trimmed everything, just did a fantastic job, and she kept insisting on paying me, of course I refused the money and told her; "I cannot accept this because it was done out of love, if you would like me to continue this, then from now on I will accept your offer."
For two years I cut her Grass. She would always either have fresh cookies baked or an ice cold glass of tea ready for me on the 24th of every month when I came. Every year she sent me a birthday card, I still have each and every one, I would call her with my problems, I was given advice from her about many many things, and I was even there to comfort her when she was lonely. She was my best friend.
Two years ago Mary discovered she had lung cancer and they did an emergency surgury to remove it. The opperation went great. Her surgury was somewhere around March 3rd or 4th. She was recovering well, and I had been so busy with work that I had yet to get to see her. It just so happened that on Saturday I was in fairhope running errands, I wasn't going to have time to stop by, because it was getting late and I was running WAY behind, but I stopped anyway. She looked amazing, she talked just like she always had, if I hadn't known why she was in the hospital i would have never guessed that she had lung cancer removed. We talked for an hour or two. She went on about how she knew God was with her all this time, that it was nowhere near her time to go due to all the things she had left to do at home. She told me how she was really happy with her life, and the things that she done with it. It was honestly one of the best conversations we ever had.
Sunday, March 7th, 2004. (My brothers birthday)
Our phone rang around 6:30am, Mary had taken a turn for the worse. My parents wouldn't let me go to the hospital because they knew of the emotional stress it would put on me. I didn't go to church, I just sat in my room and waited for word. Apparently the Doctors couldn't even explain what was happening to her. She passed that day. For days I didn't eat. I barely slept. All I could think about was one of the last things she had ever said to me. "Well handsome, I thank you for stopping by tonight, and I thank God every day for putting you in my life. You are by far the most interesting and moraly upstanding young man I have ever met. Never have I known a person of your age to call up an old lady and talk to her on the phone for hours, or to sit down with some old fogey and have a cold drink while discussing many different things. You have a gift of talking to people, because not only have I seen you talk to the elderly like you were there age, but I have also watched you talk to a 3 year old child and connect on a level that even their parents couldnt achieve. You have great wisdom beyond your years, a heart that loves everyone, and one day you will make an excelent husband and father for a very lucky woman. I hope you never lose the loving heart God has given you and you continue to use it to help those in like you have in the past years."
After recalling this story I took a look at how my life is now, would Mary say the same thing now that she said then? I really don't think so at all.
I'm changing my ways. No more laziness, no more over abused profanity (i'd like to get the cussing down to zero, but were starting here,) no more of this comple prick attitude I've had to so many people.
Mary Holman was my best friend, she was always there for me and she saw me for who my heart was. I don't know how often you can find a friend like that.
I thank you if you took the time to read this, I appologize if it bored you. But I wanted to finally share the story of my best friend.
I will never know the pain she feels, I could never beging to imagine what it's like to lose your father when your only 10 or 11 years old. See her problem that night was she had one of the days where she remembered a person who has passed, and couldn't get them off her mind. She is afraid that because of her age that she will grow up and forget him completely. My heart grew heavy for her pain.
My heart grew weak, and tears formed in my eyes, so I did something that I stopped doing, I shared with her my wisdom. I was afraid to at first because it's been a long time sense I shared anything like that with another person, but I did what I could to help her.
I told her I could never understand completely how she feels, because my father is still alive and even if he passed now i'm not the same age she was when her father died. I told her that I did have my best friend pass shortly over two years ago. And that days do go by where I don't think about her, but I can never forget her because of the impact she made on my heart. I also told her not to worry about forgetting her father, because one day, nomatter what goes on or how busy she is, she will see something that reminds her of him. It is my understanding that she has been doing a little better sense then. I am sorry for your pain, and I mourn your loss.
But when I mentioned my best friend it got me to thinking.Her name was Mary. She was this sweet lady from my church who I sat next to every Sunday morning. This wasn't something that happened on purpose, it was just because she chose to sit near the teenagers. I got to know Mary over the years because she and I would tap people on the shoulders and blame it on someone else, or make funny jokes under our breath about the pastor, and even occasionally threw bits of paper at sleeping old people. One day I had called Mary either to see how she had been, or to wish her a happy birthday (I can't remember which it was because it was years ago). But when I called she seemed to be in tears. Appparently the guy who cut her grass for her decided he was going to just not do it anymore, and her grass had gotten horribly high. I never told her of my plans, I just talked with her like we always talked. The next day my father and I loaded the trailer up and took our lawn mower to her house. When I knocked on her door she was confused at first then when I told her I was there to cut her grass she broke into tears. We didnt just cut her grass, we made her yard look amazing, trimmed everything, just did a fantastic job, and she kept insisting on paying me, of course I refused the money and told her; "I cannot accept this because it was done out of love, if you would like me to continue this, then from now on I will accept your offer."
For two years I cut her Grass. She would always either have fresh cookies baked or an ice cold glass of tea ready for me on the 24th of every month when I came. Every year she sent me a birthday card, I still have each and every one, I would call her with my problems, I was given advice from her about many many things, and I was even there to comfort her when she was lonely. She was my best friend.
Two years ago Mary discovered she had lung cancer and they did an emergency surgury to remove it. The opperation went great. Her surgury was somewhere around March 3rd or 4th. She was recovering well, and I had been so busy with work that I had yet to get to see her. It just so happened that on Saturday I was in fairhope running errands, I wasn't going to have time to stop by, because it was getting late and I was running WAY behind, but I stopped anyway. She looked amazing, she talked just like she always had, if I hadn't known why she was in the hospital i would have never guessed that she had lung cancer removed. We talked for an hour or two. She went on about how she knew God was with her all this time, that it was nowhere near her time to go due to all the things she had left to do at home. She told me how she was really happy with her life, and the things that she done with it. It was honestly one of the best conversations we ever had.
Sunday, March 7th, 2004. (My brothers birthday)
Our phone rang around 6:30am, Mary had taken a turn for the worse. My parents wouldn't let me go to the hospital because they knew of the emotional stress it would put on me. I didn't go to church, I just sat in my room and waited for word. Apparently the Doctors couldn't even explain what was happening to her. She passed that day. For days I didn't eat. I barely slept. All I could think about was one of the last things she had ever said to me. "Well handsome, I thank you for stopping by tonight, and I thank God every day for putting you in my life. You are by far the most interesting and moraly upstanding young man I have ever met. Never have I known a person of your age to call up an old lady and talk to her on the phone for hours, or to sit down with some old fogey and have a cold drink while discussing many different things. You have a gift of talking to people, because not only have I seen you talk to the elderly like you were there age, but I have also watched you talk to a 3 year old child and connect on a level that even their parents couldnt achieve. You have great wisdom beyond your years, a heart that loves everyone, and one day you will make an excelent husband and father for a very lucky woman. I hope you never lose the loving heart God has given you and you continue to use it to help those in like you have in the past years."
After recalling this story I took a look at how my life is now, would Mary say the same thing now that she said then? I really don't think so at all.
I'm changing my ways. No more laziness, no more over abused profanity (i'd like to get the cussing down to zero, but were starting here,) no more of this comple prick attitude I've had to so many people.
Mary Holman was my best friend, she was always there for me and she saw me for who my heart was. I don't know how often you can find a friend like that.
I thank you if you took the time to read this, I appologize if it bored you. But I wanted to finally share the story of my best friend.