i'm an angry miserable fuck
so, once again...another giant pause followed by a random update...i hate getting in fights with people you love. especially over money. money sucks. and it even sucks more right now cuz i have 11 dollars in my pocket right now and that's all i have to last me til thursday when i get paid. i have to get food and gas for four days on 11 dollars...:/ on another "great" note...the band's gone to shit...we haven't even gotten together since our show on the 30th....OF FUCKING AUGUST! i'm just dying to play again....all this work and no play crap sucks. fuck reality: someone make me rich...NOW!
anyways...back on the subject of loved ones...i hate yelling at someone and then walking away cuz i'm so much of an ass that i can't control my own anger. it's getting so bad (the anger, that is) that i always really want to hit something or someone...and i don't even know why i'm so angry. maybe it's because it's been almost eight months since i've severed ties with my mother. maybe it's cause i work a miserable entry level job. maybe it's because i am unable to do the thing i love the most. maybe it's because i'm completely broke and on the verge of starving. or maybe it's because of all of the above and i somehow feel responsible for all of it in a way as if i brought it all upon myself. i dunno...maybe i'm just supposed to be miserble as per some cruel twist in fate. all i know is i'm more miserable than i was when i lived at home with my mom and i don't know how to fix it....
:/
anyways...back on the subject of loved ones...i hate yelling at someone and then walking away cuz i'm so much of an ass that i can't control my own anger. it's getting so bad (the anger, that is) that i always really want to hit something or someone...and i don't even know why i'm so angry. maybe it's because it's been almost eight months since i've severed ties with my mother. maybe it's cause i work a miserable entry level job. maybe it's because i am unable to do the thing i love the most. maybe it's because i'm completely broke and on the verge of starving. or maybe it's because of all of the above and i somehow feel responsible for all of it in a way as if i brought it all upon myself. i dunno...maybe i'm just supposed to be miserble as per some cruel twist in fate. all i know is i'm more miserable than i was when i lived at home with my mom and i don't know how to fix it....
:/