school/Vinnie
something bad happened at school. my sorta friend Vinnie is thinking about giving my dad all these notes about how i wanted to kill myself/die. these notes are from months ago when i was under alot of stress and had an uber poor self-image. keep in mind that these notes Vinnie wants to give to my dad are notes that I wrote to Vinnie in reply to notes that he wrote to me. Also keep in mind that I, in no way signaled to ANYONE that I want either of my parents to know about all of my old suicidal thoughts. and it's not until shit like this happens that i actually do want to die/kill myself!!! Honest to God, I haven't had any suicidal thoughts for a long time until today!! and i seriously think that he's actually trying to fuck up my life!!!!
here's some background info. on all of this. a) I USED TO BE a cutter. no more, no less, I WAS a cutter. But i'm not anymore. so that chapter of my life is over with. and i'm happy about that. b) my mom is my only family member that knows about that. i'm not sure if she knows about all the times this year i've wanted to die. all/most of my friends know about my past. c) Vinnie wanted to date me, but I didn't want to date him. he got uber pissy about being rejected, was spiteful and bitchy to me, and I ignored/avoided him because of that and all the harassing notes he's given me lately. he started this shit, not me! d) my dad doesn't know about my past or my "suicidal stage" of life. if he finds out from Vinnie, then it's off to a mental rehab facility I go. if he finds out from me, i don't know what he'll do, but i have a pretty damn good idea that it won't be good anyway!
i'm lost with no hope of a good way out of this one. i've been stuck in some pretty bad situations, but there was always a choice i had that had an outcome that was at least slightly better than the rest. i don't think i have one this time.
here's some background info. on all of this. a) I USED TO BE a cutter. no more, no less, I WAS a cutter. But i'm not anymore. so that chapter of my life is over with. and i'm happy about that. b) my mom is my only family member that knows about that. i'm not sure if she knows about all the times this year i've wanted to die. all/most of my friends know about my past. c) Vinnie wanted to date me, but I didn't want to date him. he got uber pissy about being rejected, was spiteful and bitchy to me, and I ignored/avoided him because of that and all the harassing notes he's given me lately. he started this shit, not me! d) my dad doesn't know about my past or my "suicidal stage" of life. if he finds out from Vinnie, then it's off to a mental rehab facility I go. if he finds out from me, i don't know what he'll do, but i have a pretty damn good idea that it won't be good anyway!
i'm lost with no hope of a good way out of this one. i've been stuck in some pretty bad situations, but there was always a choice i had that had an outcome that was at least slightly better than the rest. i don't think i have one this time.