You, Too, Can Get Violated By A CGI Robot!
So, on the drive in to work this morning, one of the local DJ's this morning mentioned that apparently open casting calls are being held in Chicago this weekend for extras--for Transformers 3.
My first thought was, "Now you, too, can get teabagged by a CGI robot!"
"If you can fit one of them in your mouth, you've got the part."
Then I immediately thought of the opportunities it raised for me, should I decide to go to that casting call. Opportunities like:
--Getting to say, "I finally get to be a part of a major Hollywood production--and it's Transformers 3!"
--Getting to start my inevitable review blasting the movie with, "My feelings about Transformers 3 are quite personal. Because, you see, I was in this piece of shit."
--And, naturally, trying to prove to people that I'm in it by taking blurry stills of my split second of screentime between jumpcuts. Which, inevitably would be like the crazy teacher in The Incredibles trying to prove that Dash put the tack on his chair. "A-ha! You see? There. Right there!"
"See, there I am."
Or, more likely, "That's me! Right behind the articulated robot cock."
"No, the robot dick was CGI. Yes, that means I had to mime being slapped around by an invisible cybernetic penis."
Of course, the downside is that after appearing Transformers 3 I'd probably have to appear in some kind of furry fetish porn before I could look my family and friends in the eye again.
My first thought was, "Now you, too, can get teabagged by a CGI robot!"
"If you can fit one of them in your mouth, you've got the part."
Then I immediately thought of the opportunities it raised for me, should I decide to go to that casting call. Opportunities like:
--Getting to say, "I finally get to be a part of a major Hollywood production--and it's Transformers 3!"
--Getting to start my inevitable review blasting the movie with, "My feelings about Transformers 3 are quite personal. Because, you see, I was in this piece of shit."
--And, naturally, trying to prove to people that I'm in it by taking blurry stills of my split second of screentime between jumpcuts. Which, inevitably would be like the crazy teacher in The Incredibles trying to prove that Dash put the tack on his chair. "A-ha! You see? There. Right there!"
"See, there I am."
Or, more likely, "That's me! Right behind the articulated robot cock."
"No, the robot dick was CGI. Yes, that means I had to mime being slapped around by an invisible cybernetic penis."
Of course, the downside is that after appearing Transformers 3 I'd probably have to appear in some kind of furry fetish porn before I could look my family and friends in the eye again.