C'est la même chose
I briefly considered going out tonight. About an hour ago, I found out that an artist I know is having an opening and I'd like to support him, but not as much as I'd like to curl up at home and watch it snow. Fortunately he's got a solo show opening in a little over a month so I'll just have to commit to making that.
We haven't spoken in years anyhow. I'm still not sure how that happened but I've learned not to keep obsessing about these things. I figure I'll come to the gallery and he'll be happy to see me or he won't and, if not, I go somewhere else. With a little lead time, I can probably line up a date to take the curse off.
Someone else I haven't heard from in too long is Nuphy. I meant to call him on Christmas but time got away from me and I didn't. So I figured I'd text him at New Year's and I forgot to do that, too. I felt bad, but then I realised he hadn't contacted me either and felt more resigned. I thought about inviting him to the Field with us last weekend, but I didn't. Now that we no longer share an opera subscription there's no regular expectation of contact, but his birthday is in April so I won't let it go longer than that.
I had a dream last night that it was Christmas and I was at my sister's. For once, I didn't have my typical anxiety about not having gifts for anyone. Instead, I was stunned that a year had passed so quickly and I could recall so little of it. It didn't linger because, soon after waking, I recalled that I hadn't been at my sister's last year.
Still it seems like too much time has gone by without any significant changes. Not only has almost nothing in my house been removed, remodeled, or replaced, but just the thought of doing so gives me chills. The electric kettle Monshu gave me for my birthday threatened to break down so I was looking for replacements but despite finding one I liked at a reasonable price with next-day delivery, I baulked at getting it and just fiddled with the old one instead until it started working again.
I know something's gotta change but nothing will until a powerful outside source operates on me. Probably a new relationship. Maybe a new tragedy.
We haven't spoken in years anyhow. I'm still not sure how that happened but I've learned not to keep obsessing about these things. I figure I'll come to the gallery and he'll be happy to see me or he won't and, if not, I go somewhere else. With a little lead time, I can probably line up a date to take the curse off.
Someone else I haven't heard from in too long is Nuphy. I meant to call him on Christmas but time got away from me and I didn't. So I figured I'd text him at New Year's and I forgot to do that, too. I felt bad, but then I realised he hadn't contacted me either and felt more resigned. I thought about inviting him to the Field with us last weekend, but I didn't. Now that we no longer share an opera subscription there's no regular expectation of contact, but his birthday is in April so I won't let it go longer than that.
I had a dream last night that it was Christmas and I was at my sister's. For once, I didn't have my typical anxiety about not having gifts for anyone. Instead, I was stunned that a year had passed so quickly and I could recall so little of it. It didn't linger because, soon after waking, I recalled that I hadn't been at my sister's last year.
Still it seems like too much time has gone by without any significant changes. Not only has almost nothing in my house been removed, remodeled, or replaced, but just the thought of doing so gives me chills. The electric kettle Monshu gave me for my birthday threatened to break down so I was looking for replacements but despite finding one I liked at a reasonable price with next-day delivery, I baulked at getting it and just fiddled with the old one instead until it started working again.
I know something's gotta change but nothing will until a powerful outside source operates on me. Probably a new relationship. Maybe a new tragedy.