End of a long day
J: I need your address
CK: Hey. Address is [redacted]
J: I may not ever talk to you again, so just want to say thank you
CK: Hey!
CK: Good morning!
CK: And I hope that is not true.
CK: Do you have court today?
J: no
J: but, if I go to court tomorrow, I will surely be locked up for 2 years
J: I tried ck
CK: Will you have your lawyer with you? And I know you do.
J: lost insurance
CK: Is your brother still looking at that.
CK: ?
J: and when that happened I lost therapist
J: lost meds
J: lost common sense
J: no
J: he's pissed at me
CK: I know. I have been so worried since you said you woke up in field now knowing how you got there.
CK: What's his problem now?
J: sometimes life just says get the fuck out of here
J: i will miss the kids [her two dogs] but thats all i'll miss
J: forgive me
CK: What could there possibly be for me to forgive?
CK: I know what you've been through, and how hard you work.
J: goodbye dear friend
J: i love my dogs and K is next to me
Her father found her body this morning. I suspect she died while I was helping The Barbarian get ready for school. Maybe while I was dropping her off.
J had a TBI, and a lot of problems, but she was more or less on an even keel until she lost her therapist about five years ago and couldn't get another doctor where she lived. The therapist mentioned above was a new guy she just started going to. She had not had regular mental health care in five years. She also really could have used a social worker and an occupational therapist.
Instead she couldn't sleep normally, she couldn't work, she was depressed, she self-medicated by screwing with her own prescriptions (when she could get meds - with the situation with her doctors, she often couldn't get them) and abusing alcohol. She lived with an abusive, deteriorating parent, she got mixed up with the law through her drinking, and she was in and out of jail the last several months (where her health deteriorated more because the jail doctor deemed her meds to be inappropriate).
In many ways, I thought I would feel relief if this ever happened. She has attempted suicide at least twice before that I know of. Once I think I was instrumental in her failure, because I managed to contact someone there, as I tried to do this morning. But I thought if it ever happened, I would breathe a sigh and say, well, that's that.
Instead, I just feel very, very sad.
RIP
Crossposted at "http://muck-a-luck.dreamwidth.org/1002867.html"
CK: Hey. Address is [redacted]
J: I may not ever talk to you again, so just want to say thank you
CK: Hey!
CK: Good morning!
CK: And I hope that is not true.
CK: Do you have court today?
J: no
J: but, if I go to court tomorrow, I will surely be locked up for 2 years
J: I tried ck
CK: Will you have your lawyer with you? And I know you do.
J: lost insurance
CK: Is your brother still looking at that.
CK: ?
J: and when that happened I lost therapist
J: lost meds
J: lost common sense
J: no
J: he's pissed at me
CK: I know. I have been so worried since you said you woke up in field now knowing how you got there.
CK: What's his problem now?
J: sometimes life just says get the fuck out of here
J: i will miss the kids [her two dogs] but thats all i'll miss
J: forgive me
CK: What could there possibly be for me to forgive?
CK: I know what you've been through, and how hard you work.
J: goodbye dear friend
J: i love my dogs and K is next to me
Her father found her body this morning. I suspect she died while I was helping The Barbarian get ready for school. Maybe while I was dropping her off.
J had a TBI, and a lot of problems, but she was more or less on an even keel until she lost her therapist about five years ago and couldn't get another doctor where she lived. The therapist mentioned above was a new guy she just started going to. She had not had regular mental health care in five years. She also really could have used a social worker and an occupational therapist.
Instead she couldn't sleep normally, she couldn't work, she was depressed, she self-medicated by screwing with her own prescriptions (when she could get meds - with the situation with her doctors, she often couldn't get them) and abusing alcohol. She lived with an abusive, deteriorating parent, she got mixed up with the law through her drinking, and she was in and out of jail the last several months (where her health deteriorated more because the jail doctor deemed her meds to be inappropriate).
In many ways, I thought I would feel relief if this ever happened. She has attempted suicide at least twice before that I know of. Once I think I was instrumental in her failure, because I managed to contact someone there, as I tried to do this morning. But I thought if it ever happened, I would breathe a sigh and say, well, that's that.
Instead, I just feel very, very sad.
RIP
Crossposted at "http://muck-a-luck.dreamwidth.org/1002867.html"