[Castle] "Fang-gurlz " (PG-13)

May 09, 2012 23:26

Author's Note: Written Author's Choice, Author's Choice, This is the biggest setback in feminism since the invention of the sandwich! Note: Contains copious Twilight-snarking (It was the first thing I thought of when I saw the prompt; a guy-friend of mine said something like it about Twhinelite). I am also celebrating the fact that I am officially using my copies of ye Twhinelite books as a doorstop.


"Not another vampire," Beckett muttered, as she knelt over the prone body with a wooden stake protruding from its back, as it lay sprawled on the floor of the hotel room. The young person of indeterminate gender wore a common grey flannel shirt over jeans and a slightly bouffant auburn wig.

"More like a Meyer-pire," Castle said, pointing to the corpse's forearm, on which the remains of some iridescent body glitter still showed.

"This just gets better and better," Beckett groused. "How many of those screaming teen fans are at this con?"

"Enough to make a vampire prom," Ryan said, coming into the room, rubbing his ears, Esposito following him, glancing back at the squealing teenaged girls in the hallway before shutting the door quickly.

"You find out who the vic is?" Beckett asked.

"Room's registered to a Garland Maguire," Esposito said, offering printouts of the victim's registration. "The convention organizers say she's famously -- or infamously -- rather outspoken about her opinions about certain teen vampire idols."

"Which leaves us with a prom-full of Team Edward groupies," Castle said.

"All this for a series of books that are the worst blow to feminism since the invention of the sandwich? I've never seen the appeal, unless these girls have daddy issues," Beckett grumbled.

"Oooh, Beckett, I always took you for a Team Jacob type," Castle said.

"I'd personally be Team Volturi, if there was a team for them: at least they're in the same ballpark as classic vampires that are *monsters*, like they should be," Beckett replied.

"Or maybe Team Tyler's Van," Esposito teased.

"Hey, this is a little harsh," Ryan put in.

"Sez the guy who had a reading from 'Broken Down' at his wedding ceremony," Esposito twitted back.

"That was Jenny's idea," Ryan replied innocently.

genre: crack ahoy!, fandom: castle, fandom: twilight, rating: pg, what was in my tea when i wrote this

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