[SPN/Pride &Prejudice] "Pride and Prejudice and Hunters and Angels" (PG)
Author's Note: Written for Supernatural/Pride and Prejudice, Dean/Castiel, Bennets, D/C accidentally land in the Bennets' timeline when they go back in time to trace the origins of a Campbell family artifact. Crack!fic with Mrs. B I swear this prompt was made with me in mind.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a hunter in search, through time and space, of a grimoire, must soon hit a snag in the road.
Castiel had claimed it would be an in and out job trying to get the grimoire, but he clearly hadn't foreseen the anything but MILF in the antique gown entering Mr. Bennett's library unannounced.
"Who let you in? I will not stand for unannounced visitors," she snapped.
"Oh, Mr, Bennett said we could come in anytime, and ah, check out his collection," Dean fumbled.
"And who are you, you young interlopers?" she demanded, narrowing her eyes as she looked from one to the other.
"I'm Dean Winchester, and this is--"
"Castiel."
"Castiel Novak," Dean cut in, before Castiel could embarrass them even further.
"And who are you that my husband would let you in to borrow a book from his library?"
"Mister Winchester and I are hunters," Cas said, before Dean could answer.
"I see. There is good shooting here, or so I am told," Mrs. Bennett replied, looking Cas up and down appraisingly, which made Dean's inside start to contract. "Are you married, Mister Novak?"
"No, he isn't, and I'm not either," Dean cut in.
"So what is your place in life?" she asked.
Dean felt his mind hit a brick wall: he almost gave his usual answer, that he was an exterminator, but from the little that he knew about Ye Jane Austen Tymes, from sitting through all six hours of Pride and Prejudice with Lisa, that profession wouldn't go over big with Mrs. Frilly-Cap here.
Castiel cut in, making himself useful for once. "We are divinity students," he said. "We are seeking a tome which Mister Bennett has in his possession."
"Yeah, it's...something we need to read, to, ah, keep studying divinity," Dean fumbled.
"I see, but at what school of divinity are you studying?" she asked, clearly getting interested.
"Harvard," Dean replied.
"Stanford," Castiel replied, in unison.
"We, ah, go to different schools," Dean explained.
"I've not heard of such establishments before: are they in the former colonies?" she asked.
Dean's mind scrabbled back to third-grade history. "Ah, yeah: we're from America. Land of the free and home of the brave."
"I would never have guessed: I thought that the former colonies were full of rebellious farmers and red-skinned savages. But it would seem that by now, you have your own schools," she said. "Are either of you seeking a wife? I have two daughters who are of marrying age and three more who will soon be."
The prospect of meeting the girls twigged Dean's curiosity, but as soon as Mrs. Bennett mentioned the m-word, his interest went straight out the window. "Thanks, but, ah, we're just here to get the book and get going."
"Oh, but you gentlemen have only just arrived," Mrs. Bennett said, clearly not taking "no" for an answer. "And no doubt that you will find the company of Jane or of Elizabeth enchanting."
"Thanks, ah, but --" Dean faltered.
"We are focusing our energies upon our studies," Cas said, coming to his rescue. "We wish to be settled in life before we consider marriage."
Mrs. Bennett looked crest-fallen. "Very well, but please do return to us, if you should reconsider my invitation." And with that, she bustled out of the library.
"Dude, that was close," Dean murmured, breathing easier once she was gone. "Last thing I want is to get stuck here and have to spend the rest of my life wearing tight pants and a fancy neck tie-thing..."
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a hunter in search, through time and space, of a grimoire, must soon hit a snag in the road.
Castiel had claimed it would be an in and out job trying to get the grimoire, but he clearly hadn't foreseen the anything but MILF in the antique gown entering Mr. Bennett's library unannounced.
"Who let you in? I will not stand for unannounced visitors," she snapped.
"Oh, Mr, Bennett said we could come in anytime, and ah, check out his collection," Dean fumbled.
"And who are you, you young interlopers?" she demanded, narrowing her eyes as she looked from one to the other.
"I'm Dean Winchester, and this is--"
"Castiel."
"Castiel Novak," Dean cut in, before Castiel could embarrass them even further.
"And who are you that my husband would let you in to borrow a book from his library?"
"Mister Winchester and I are hunters," Cas said, before Dean could answer.
"I see. There is good shooting here, or so I am told," Mrs. Bennett replied, looking Cas up and down appraisingly, which made Dean's inside start to contract. "Are you married, Mister Novak?"
"No, he isn't, and I'm not either," Dean cut in.
"So what is your place in life?" she asked.
Dean felt his mind hit a brick wall: he almost gave his usual answer, that he was an exterminator, but from the little that he knew about Ye Jane Austen Tymes, from sitting through all six hours of Pride and Prejudice with Lisa, that profession wouldn't go over big with Mrs. Frilly-Cap here.
Castiel cut in, making himself useful for once. "We are divinity students," he said. "We are seeking a tome which Mister Bennett has in his possession."
"Yeah, it's...something we need to read, to, ah, keep studying divinity," Dean fumbled.
"I see, but at what school of divinity are you studying?" she asked, clearly getting interested.
"Harvard," Dean replied.
"Stanford," Castiel replied, in unison.
"We, ah, go to different schools," Dean explained.
"I've not heard of such establishments before: are they in the former colonies?" she asked.
Dean's mind scrabbled back to third-grade history. "Ah, yeah: we're from America. Land of the free and home of the brave."
"I would never have guessed: I thought that the former colonies were full of rebellious farmers and red-skinned savages. But it would seem that by now, you have your own schools," she said. "Are either of you seeking a wife? I have two daughters who are of marrying age and three more who will soon be."
The prospect of meeting the girls twigged Dean's curiosity, but as soon as Mrs. Bennett mentioned the m-word, his interest went straight out the window. "Thanks, but, ah, we're just here to get the book and get going."
"Oh, but you gentlemen have only just arrived," Mrs. Bennett said, clearly not taking "no" for an answer. "And no doubt that you will find the company of Jane or of Elizabeth enchanting."
"Thanks, ah, but --" Dean faltered.
"We are focusing our energies upon our studies," Cas said, coming to his rescue. "We wish to be settled in life before we consider marriage."
Mrs. Bennett looked crest-fallen. "Very well, but please do return to us, if you should reconsider my invitation." And with that, she bustled out of the library.
"Dude, that was close," Dean murmured, breathing easier once she was gone. "Last thing I want is to get stuck here and have to spend the rest of my life wearing tight pants and a fancy neck tie-thing..."