Author's Note: Written for
fic_promptly's
Stargate SG-1, Vala Mal Doran, how she passes the time while Qetesh has her trapped inside her own body He'd promised her that she'd have it easy, the goddess-queen of her own planet: sounded like her kind of moving up in the world, perhaps even an early but excellent retirement plan.
Her anticipations were wrong though: sure, she had slaves waiting on her hand and foot -- many of them quite pretty -- but she could barely enjoy their company, the way that Qetesh took up most of the space in her brain. And she soon realized, in her brief moments of lucidity, that she would rather not know just what Qetesh considered having fun with those slaves. She might be the sort to look out for number one and devil take the consequences and the collateral damage caused by her antics, but she never could stomach being the one doing the actual harming.
So she kept herself in the furthest corners of her mind, imagining an escape plan. And then when that seemed increasingly likely, she replayed previous scams and plans and heists -- the Rigellian passion flower root scam (selling Sirisian coriander roots in their place); the shipload of fast-growing fuzzy things she fobbed off on an unsuspecting trader; or the dozen and one scams she had run with the dark, grinning fellow in the long coat -- reminding herself of who she really was and what she was really capable of doing. Things Qetesh considered pedestrian and dull. Well, if that was the case, after seeing their ideas of a good time, Vala was willing to be pedestrian by Goa'uld standards, till she could find a way to escape. When the Tokra finally caught up to her, it didn't come soon enough...