(no subject)
Where to start. I dont want to be here. I woke up yesterday morning with a resounding feeling of dread, like a panic attack, but somehow different. I realized later that those feelings stemmed from the fact that it was time to come back to tech, and that in reality, I'm not quite sure I made my decision to come to grad school here, or at all, for the right reasons. I guess I'm just not sure if I really want this. I'm nervous, and scared, and very very apprehensive about starting school tomorrow. Being an alumni with Alph Gams also accounts for some of my feelings. My entire college career, for the most part, has centered around being a part of said organization, and now that I'm 'not' its very different. All my friends are Alph Gams. Most of them are graduating this spring, with the exception of Laura and Amanda B, everyone I feel close to will be gone come May. I know that this program is only a year, and that toughing it out shouldnt be that hard, but I just feel so lost, like the world is spinning faster and faster and I'm standing still, watching it. I have so much to do before classes start tomorrow too, and no motivation to do any of it. I just want to go home.