One last time...
So I'm a liar...I apologize. I have to update since everyone's giving me feedback on the previous journal entry.
My prayer last night...
God, I've often prayed about how much I've wanted to touch every person on this earth while I am here. Touch them in such a way that truly inspires love within all hearts...in my relationships with a few people these past few days and months, I see how absurd that prayer really is. Why can't I be that? Why can't I be love.....that's all I want to be....;-(
What happened today...
I've talked to many people, mostly those who were the one I wanted to shut the journal down in the first place. It was so nice to hear their side of the story in a much more laid back manner. Even though I've talked with them, I still maintain my decision to shut the journal down.
I sent an IM to Jeff this morning, saying the following: "Hey there. I read your last journal post, and I just want to let you know that I'm sorry you feel that way.
I know you must probably feel like I'm just pestering you lately, so I'm not going to contact you anymore. I'm sorry about whatever negative thoughts or feelings you've come to have about me and other guys. I know I say "guys suck" to all my girl friends all the time, but I don't really mean it. People just make for difficult situations, and I hope the case is the same with you.
I want you to know that you are in my thoughts, prayers, and most especially my heart. I mean, the reason I harp on you so much is because my memories of that short time with you were all so positive.
I hope life's stresses ease up on you; you don't deserve to have so much on your shoulders. I love you, and if ever our paths cross again, know that I look forward to that time. :hugs:"
I'm going to take a wild gander that's the last time I'll be in contact with him except for his birthday. :::sad day:::
I also talked with Cory (wilcor4him), who I believe now hates me. He is a beautiful person, and what do I do - screw up the little bit we had. All this shows me is that relationships with people I would like to share them with will never happen b/c I'm a screw-up. Those who want intimate relationships with me, I don't have the desire for. It sucks, it really does.
Cory, I apologize for everything. I really wish you could get to know the real me and not the foul-up me.
I also watched a movie called "The Priest" today. A very good watch that I recommend to everyone...
This is what I take from today's events unfolding:
Twice or three times a week, I will not log in to my instant messengers. I need the downtime for meditation and revitalization of my faith. I've been lagging lately, and that's what Cory has taught me, so that is something I need to do at least for the next couple of weeks.
On a lighter note: For those individuals who have attended Gospel Roads, there is a new LJ community for us......see gospel_roads community for more details & sign up to become a member!!!
I'm so sorry to everyone for this. I will still check my e-mail very often, so if you'd like to contact me and I'm not online, you can reach me there.
I really and truly do love you all.
Love,
Perry, Jr.
My prayer last night...
God, I've often prayed about how much I've wanted to touch every person on this earth while I am here. Touch them in such a way that truly inspires love within all hearts...in my relationships with a few people these past few days and months, I see how absurd that prayer really is. Why can't I be that? Why can't I be love.....that's all I want to be....;-(
What happened today...
I've talked to many people, mostly those who were the one I wanted to shut the journal down in the first place. It was so nice to hear their side of the story in a much more laid back manner. Even though I've talked with them, I still maintain my decision to shut the journal down.
I sent an IM to Jeff this morning, saying the following: "Hey there. I read your last journal post, and I just want to let you know that I'm sorry you feel that way.
I know you must probably feel like I'm just pestering you lately, so I'm not going to contact you anymore. I'm sorry about whatever negative thoughts or feelings you've come to have about me and other guys. I know I say "guys suck" to all my girl friends all the time, but I don't really mean it. People just make for difficult situations, and I hope the case is the same with you.
I want you to know that you are in my thoughts, prayers, and most especially my heart. I mean, the reason I harp on you so much is because my memories of that short time with you were all so positive.
I hope life's stresses ease up on you; you don't deserve to have so much on your shoulders. I love you, and if ever our paths cross again, know that I look forward to that time. :hugs:"
I'm going to take a wild gander that's the last time I'll be in contact with him except for his birthday. :::sad day:::
I also talked with Cory (wilcor4him), who I believe now hates me. He is a beautiful person, and what do I do - screw up the little bit we had. All this shows me is that relationships with people I would like to share them with will never happen b/c I'm a screw-up. Those who want intimate relationships with me, I don't have the desire for. It sucks, it really does.
Cory, I apologize for everything. I really wish you could get to know the real me and not the foul-up me.
I also watched a movie called "The Priest" today. A very good watch that I recommend to everyone...
This is what I take from today's events unfolding:
Twice or three times a week, I will not log in to my instant messengers. I need the downtime for meditation and revitalization of my faith. I've been lagging lately, and that's what Cory has taught me, so that is something I need to do at least for the next couple of weeks.
On a lighter note: For those individuals who have attended Gospel Roads, there is a new LJ community for us......see gospel_roads community for more details & sign up to become a member!!!
I'm so sorry to everyone for this. I will still check my e-mail very often, so if you'd like to contact me and I'm not online, you can reach me there.
I really and truly do love you all.
Love,
Perry, Jr.