"Every problem has a gift for you in its hands." - Richard Bach
I wish I could look into a crystal ball and find out if we are going to be okay or not. It hurts to know that something so special is wasted on something that I can’t even identify. I wish I didn’t care, I wish I knew if you did. I think I hate you because, well, this is driving me insane. But I don’t, which is so damn frustrating. Will we allow for this to get to a point where you’re just going to be a part of my past? The thought alone makes me cringe. Where there was once laughter and smiles, it is now replaced by silence and blank stares. Could it possibly be over??? I’m scared to find out the answer. Alone in my thoughts I wonder: What is the problem? What is keeping us from being happy? Is it me? What do I need to do? ::pauses:: What do I need to do?...
…
Your eyes are so mysterious. They say so much and I don’t know what they are telling me. I see your smile, I hear you speak and it makes me wonder…Why do I keep denying what I could possibly want more than anything (or anyone)? I guess it’s because, in a weird way, you’re intimidating. I don’t understand how you see right through me…but you do. I wonder if you’re hiding any feelings the way I am.
…
I haven’t written in a while. Things have been great since my last entry. Well, were, at least. It’s the same problems, they just went away for a while and came back to haunt me. But I think that this time I might have some hope. Something that can pull me through. I know that things happen for a reason, but what is the reason for all this trouble? What can I possibly learn from this??? I’m not sure…not yet. But I’m not exactly ready to give up…at least I don’t want to.
…
Your eyes are so mysterious. They say so much and I don’t know what they are telling me. I see your smile, I hear you speak and it makes me wonder…Why do I keep denying what I could possibly want more than anything (or anyone)? I guess it’s because, in a weird way, you’re intimidating. I don’t understand how you see right through me…but you do. I wonder if you’re hiding any feelings the way I am.
…
I haven’t written in a while. Things have been great since my last entry. Well, were, at least. It’s the same problems, they just went away for a while and came back to haunt me. But I think that this time I might have some hope. Something that can pull me through. I know that things happen for a reason, but what is the reason for all this trouble? What can I possibly learn from this??? I’m not sure…not yet. But I’m not exactly ready to give up…at least I don’t want to.