Seuls - Chapter 11
Title: Seuls
Author: mtemplar
Rating: Adult
Characters: The Doctor (Tenth), Rose Tyler
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Doctor Who' and am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Graphic Sex, Graphic Violence, Romance
Spoilers: Set mid Series 2
Author's Notes: This story follows the events in To Have And Not To Hold (first chapter of that story is here) and Not Here (the first chapter of that short follow-up is here). It is loosely based on the Fourth Doctor serial 'Image of the Fendahl', and contains elements from the 1996 TV movie and the novel 'The Taking of Planet 5'. Huge hugs to principia_coh for the amazing icon and banner!
Betas: Many, many thanks to platypus, brit_columbia and garpu!
Summary: The Doctor and Rose have been mysteriously diverted to the ice planet Seuls, located within the constellation of Canthares. It soon becomes apparent that things are not at all as they should be, and the newly-formed bond between them will be tested as the trap of an ancient enemy is sprung.
Previous Chapters:
One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten
Crossposted to time_and_chips, dwfiction, Teaspoon and The Zero Room.
Chapter 11
Rose slowly backed away from where the Doctor stood, her injured left ankle threatening to give way. Stinging tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, and she hiccupped for air as she tried to stop them from falling. "I... I don't understand," she said, her voice cracking. "I thought... I thought you and me were - " Her voice finally gave out and she stared at the Doctor helplessly, hot tears running unchecked down her cheeks.
"Rose, please," the Doctor pleaded, his eyes wide. "I didn't mean it like that, please don't cry, Rose."
"How did you mean it, then?" Rose said bitterly. "Cause there's not that many ways to interpret what you said!" Her voice was hoarse to her ears, and she tried to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.
Blood dripped silently from the Doctor's wrist to further stain the snow beneath his stockinged feet. He seemed fixated by the bloodied snow and wouldn't meet her gaze. "I did make a mistake, Rose," he said in a low voice. "But I don't regret it."
She watched him for a moment, as the tears froze on her cheeks. "Yeah?" she said quietly, trying not to let her seething anger creep into her voice.
"And it would explain why I couldn't detect even the slightest smidge of telepathic ability on your end," he continued, still not looking at her. His left hand moved up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
Rose's curiosity was piqued enough to momentarily put aside her upset. Her broken heart would wait. "And?"
"I'm stupid, Rose. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And just for good measure, stupid. Even a Gallifreyan child wouldn't make this mistake."
"Mistake as in bonding yourself to me?"
"Yes. No." He looked up at her, his eyes widening. "No! I mean, not the bonding part. Just... in the actual doing."
Rose sat down in the snow. Hard. "I'm confused."
"So was I," the Doctor responded. "Well," he quickly corrected as Rose frowned. "I should say not confused, because I mean... not confused, but in my defense, I really didn't know what I was doing, and... well," he said, drawing the word out as if in preparation for a longish extrapolation on the subject when Rose suspected he was actually trying to buy himself some time before she completely lost her temper.
"Will you just tell me?"
"I... I put the bond in the wrong place."
Several awkward moments passed. "What?"
"Did I mention I was stupid?" the Doctor said, a sheepish grin on his face.
Rose shook her head. "Just so I have this straight," she said, as the Doctor slid down the side of the frozen longboat to sit at her eye level. "Your putting this bond thing on me... that's not the mistake part?"
"No! Not at all!"
"Ok... go on."
The Doctor flinched back a bit before continuing. "When I put the bond on you, at least, when I think I put the bond on you, before I... changed, I would have been under quite a bit of stress at the time, with the Daleks and all - "
Rose was rapidly losing patience. "Get to the point," she insisted between clenched teeth.
The Doctor swallowed, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing. "All right, getting to the point. When I put the bond on you, I put it directly over the telepathic centers of your brain. That's why the TARDIS and I weren't picking up any telepathic activity from you - the bond is blocking whatever detectable ability you might have."
Rose took a moment to digest this. "So... so that's why you feel it so strongly? That's why you - "
"That would seem to be why you're able to drop my barriers so easily, yes. Your rudimentary telepathic ability, small as it may be, is enough to - "
"Make you lose control?" Rose said, a slight grin on her face.
"Well... ah, yes," he said, his cheeks coloring slightly. "Essentially, yes."
"So why does that make you stupid?" Rose asked.
The Doctor looked away from her again, suddenly finding his lack of footwear fascinating. He wiggled his toes before loudly cracking the joints, the noise echoing strangely in the chamber. Rose cringed.
"Doctor?"
"With that bond in place where it is, the Fendahl would have another option at its disposal to try to break into my head," he said in a low voice. "That must be why the core transferred into you instead of just a portion of the gestalt - with the bond over your telepathic centers, you were initially hidden. But once the Fendahl made forcible contact with you? It would've been able to smell a Time Lord bond, even if it didn't realize what it was, thus making you an irresistible target. And as long as the bond remains in place, over your telepathic centers, that is, the Fendahl might be able to manipulate my barriers enough to transfer over to me. Stupid."
Rose considered this for a moment. "Couldn't you just shift it?"
"What, the bond?"
"Yeah."
"I could - "
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Rose interrupted, quickly scooting forward to position herself to where the Doctor could reach her. "Just move the bond."
"Well...."
She sat back on her heels in frustration, her ankle stinging. "What now?"
He looked sheepish again. "I mean, I could've shifted it, but I can't anymore."
"Why? Because I've this Fendahl thing in my head?"
"The bond is consummated, Rose."
"Meaning?" she asked quietly.
"It's permanent. I could've shifted it before, and I would have, once I realized what I'd done... but - "
Rose sniffed, feeling the guilt now building in her chest. "So it's both of our faults, really."
He looked at her incredulously. "How so?"
"I should've known, known that you weren't... weren't yourself, when we first slept together - "
"Rose," the Doctor interrupted, his voice husky. "I may not know exactly what happened, but I bonded myself to you, remember? I'm... I'm yours, Rose," he said, holding her gaze with soulful eyes. "To do with as you please."
Rose's hands flew to her mouth, the tears freely falling again. She wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms, but she couldn't touch him - couldn't press her body to his and kiss him until he forgot how to breathe. The universe suddenly seemed a very cruel place. "You said that before, you know," she said, sniffing.
"What's that?" he said, shifting against the longboat.
"You said that you were mine right before we... ah, consummated the bond." She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks and looked away in embarrassment.
"I didn't look through those memories," he said softly. "Thought it might be a bit dangerous. And private."
"You were there, you know," Rose said ruefully. "I wouldn't mind if you looked."
He regarded her for a moment. "Maybe... but it's still your memory, Rose. Not mine. I'd really rather remember some things for myself."
"Do you think you ever will?"
"I don't know." He looked away from her, awkward silence hanging in the room before he spoke again. "Really wish I could, though," he added in a small voice. "I do remember some things, in flashes, but nothing really concrete. Maybe if the conditions were replicated...." He trailed off, shaking his head. "This really isn't a wise train of thought right now."
Rose nodded, willing the erotic images of soft, white sheets, honeyed skin and messy, desperate kisses from her head. "So what are we going to do?"
He sighed. "I don't know, Rose. With the proper equipment, I might be able to dispel a Fendahleen, but not the Fendahl core itself. And you won't be able to travel in the TARDIS... not with the core inside your head."
She moved to sit next to him, her back up against the frozen hull of the longboat, her mind racing through one horrible possibility after another. "Doctor?" she ventured after several moments of awkward silence. "If we can get you free, you should go," she said, her voice tremulous with emotion. "As far away from here as you can."
"That's not an option," the Doctor insisted, turning quickly to face her as best he could with his right arm still tethered. "Like I said before, it has the TARDIS's scent - it'd hunt her down. And even if it were possible...." He yanked on the chain hard, blood dripping anew down his wrist to disappear into the sleeve of his pinstriped suitjacket. "I would never leave you, Rose."
She nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. "So what happens now?"
"There's only one thing I can think of that might delay the inevitable," he mumbled, becoming more subdued.
"The inevitable being...?"
He hung his head. "Your eventual complete consumption and becoming the Fendahl incarnate."
"Well? Don't keep me in suspense, then," Rose said glumly. "What do you want to try?"
He cleared his throat softly. "I could give you barriers... shielding. It's not an ultimate solution, but it might buy us some time."
"But," she sputtered, suddenly angry. "You said you could feel your barriers weakening! You're gonna need them more than I will, since... since you're already pretty sure I'm not... I'm not gonna survive this...." She trailed off, staring into space, afraid to meet his gaze. Afraid of what she might see there.
"I can rebuild my barriers, Rose... given time. And I wouldn't leave myself completely defenseless - I'd just be, well... sharing. Think of it as borrowing. Would that make it seem better?"
She stood up gingerly, favoring her injured ankle, and moved what she thought would be a safe distance from him. "No," she said quietly. "I won't let you."
"Rose, please. Let me try."
Tears again gathered and pricked at the corners of her eyes. "Doctor, it's ok," she lied. "We all have to leave you eventually, right?" She felt sick with the knowledge that she might have to hurt him in order to stop him from doing something potentially foolish. There was a long pause, during which Rose carefully avoided looking at him.
"Do you want me to beg, Rose?" he said quietly. "Because I will, if I have to."
She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, and watched, briefly distracted as it froze in the air before dissipating. "I can't. I can't let you do this."
The Doctor sighed, sounding defeated. The chain rattled again. "Please," he insisted between clenched teeth.
Rose turned to face him, her breath catching in her throat at the look he was giving her. The Doctor said nothing, merely held her gaze with his dark, sad eyes. She could feel her resolve crumbling. "You'll still... you'll still have barriers? They'll be enough to protect you?"
"Come here," he said hoarsely, his untethered hand outstretched. His gaze was hypnotic, and Rose slowly moved to kneel between his legs, her head bowed in defeat.
"Do it," she muttered. "Before I change my mind." She could hear him swallow heavily, could hear the chain jingle as he moved his fingertips to her temples. Cool fingers touched her chilled skin, and warm lips touched to her forehead. She started in surprise....
.... before she again found herself in the white, snow-covered expanse of her meadow. She squinted into stinging sleet, looking for any sign of the creature she had seen before, but all she could make out were glittering, golden walls rising rapidly in the periphery. They certainly seemed solid enough, and Rose allowed herself for a moment to hope that they might somehow drive the creature from her consciousness.
The barriers shimmered and wavered in the distance. Something was wrong. They briefly became transparent before resolidifying. If she listened carefully, she could hear the crashing waves of an unseen ocean.
Something dark was moving in the distance.
Rose opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. She tripped over the hem of her white robe, falling over in the snow in her panic. She had to warn the Doctor, warn him before the creature reached her....
Rose blinked rapidly as the Doctor's fingertips slipped from her temples. He sagged back against the frozen hull of the longboat, his eyes unfocused and exhausted.
"Doctor, something's wrong," she managed to get out before the roar of the ocean completely drowned out the sound of her voice. A cold glow burned behind her eyes, rising in intensity before fading, then glowing brightly again. The Doctor's expression was panicked now, and he was trying to tell her something, but she couldn't hear him above the now continuous discordant din. She slammed her hands to her ears to no avail - the sound couldn't be blocked. White-hot pain blazed between her eyes, her vision tunneled, and she lost consciousness.
Author: mtemplar
Rating: Adult
Characters: The Doctor (Tenth), Rose Tyler
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Doctor Who' and am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Graphic Sex, Graphic Violence, Romance
Spoilers: Set mid Series 2
Author's Notes: This story follows the events in To Have And Not To Hold (first chapter of that story is here) and Not Here (the first chapter of that short follow-up is here). It is loosely based on the Fourth Doctor serial 'Image of the Fendahl', and contains elements from the 1996 TV movie and the novel 'The Taking of Planet 5'. Huge hugs to principia_coh for the amazing icon and banner!
Betas: Many, many thanks to platypus, brit_columbia and garpu!
Summary: The Doctor and Rose have been mysteriously diverted to the ice planet Seuls, located within the constellation of Canthares. It soon becomes apparent that things are not at all as they should be, and the newly-formed bond between them will be tested as the trap of an ancient enemy is sprung.
Previous Chapters:
One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten
Crossposted to time_and_chips, dwfiction, Teaspoon and The Zero Room.
Chapter 11
Rose slowly backed away from where the Doctor stood, her injured left ankle threatening to give way. Stinging tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, and she hiccupped for air as she tried to stop them from falling. "I... I don't understand," she said, her voice cracking. "I thought... I thought you and me were - " Her voice finally gave out and she stared at the Doctor helplessly, hot tears running unchecked down her cheeks.
"Rose, please," the Doctor pleaded, his eyes wide. "I didn't mean it like that, please don't cry, Rose."
"How did you mean it, then?" Rose said bitterly. "Cause there's not that many ways to interpret what you said!" Her voice was hoarse to her ears, and she tried to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.
Blood dripped silently from the Doctor's wrist to further stain the snow beneath his stockinged feet. He seemed fixated by the bloodied snow and wouldn't meet her gaze. "I did make a mistake, Rose," he said in a low voice. "But I don't regret it."
She watched him for a moment, as the tears froze on her cheeks. "Yeah?" she said quietly, trying not to let her seething anger creep into her voice.
"And it would explain why I couldn't detect even the slightest smidge of telepathic ability on your end," he continued, still not looking at her. His left hand moved up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
Rose's curiosity was piqued enough to momentarily put aside her upset. Her broken heart would wait. "And?"
"I'm stupid, Rose. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And just for good measure, stupid. Even a Gallifreyan child wouldn't make this mistake."
"Mistake as in bonding yourself to me?"
"Yes. No." He looked up at her, his eyes widening. "No! I mean, not the bonding part. Just... in the actual doing."
Rose sat down in the snow. Hard. "I'm confused."
"So was I," the Doctor responded. "Well," he quickly corrected as Rose frowned. "I should say not confused, because I mean... not confused, but in my defense, I really didn't know what I was doing, and... well," he said, drawing the word out as if in preparation for a longish extrapolation on the subject when Rose suspected he was actually trying to buy himself some time before she completely lost her temper.
"Will you just tell me?"
"I... I put the bond in the wrong place."
Several awkward moments passed. "What?"
"Did I mention I was stupid?" the Doctor said, a sheepish grin on his face.
Rose shook her head. "Just so I have this straight," she said, as the Doctor slid down the side of the frozen longboat to sit at her eye level. "Your putting this bond thing on me... that's not the mistake part?"
"No! Not at all!"
"Ok... go on."
The Doctor flinched back a bit before continuing. "When I put the bond on you, at least, when I think I put the bond on you, before I... changed, I would have been under quite a bit of stress at the time, with the Daleks and all - "
Rose was rapidly losing patience. "Get to the point," she insisted between clenched teeth.
The Doctor swallowed, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing. "All right, getting to the point. When I put the bond on you, I put it directly over the telepathic centers of your brain. That's why the TARDIS and I weren't picking up any telepathic activity from you - the bond is blocking whatever detectable ability you might have."
Rose took a moment to digest this. "So... so that's why you feel it so strongly? That's why you - "
"That would seem to be why you're able to drop my barriers so easily, yes. Your rudimentary telepathic ability, small as it may be, is enough to - "
"Make you lose control?" Rose said, a slight grin on her face.
"Well... ah, yes," he said, his cheeks coloring slightly. "Essentially, yes."
"So why does that make you stupid?" Rose asked.
The Doctor looked away from her again, suddenly finding his lack of footwear fascinating. He wiggled his toes before loudly cracking the joints, the noise echoing strangely in the chamber. Rose cringed.
"Doctor?"
"With that bond in place where it is, the Fendahl would have another option at its disposal to try to break into my head," he said in a low voice. "That must be why the core transferred into you instead of just a portion of the gestalt - with the bond over your telepathic centers, you were initially hidden. But once the Fendahl made forcible contact with you? It would've been able to smell a Time Lord bond, even if it didn't realize what it was, thus making you an irresistible target. And as long as the bond remains in place, over your telepathic centers, that is, the Fendahl might be able to manipulate my barriers enough to transfer over to me. Stupid."
Rose considered this for a moment. "Couldn't you just shift it?"
"What, the bond?"
"Yeah."
"I could - "
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Rose interrupted, quickly scooting forward to position herself to where the Doctor could reach her. "Just move the bond."
"Well...."
She sat back on her heels in frustration, her ankle stinging. "What now?"
He looked sheepish again. "I mean, I could've shifted it, but I can't anymore."
"Why? Because I've this Fendahl thing in my head?"
"The bond is consummated, Rose."
"Meaning?" she asked quietly.
"It's permanent. I could've shifted it before, and I would have, once I realized what I'd done... but - "
Rose sniffed, feeling the guilt now building in her chest. "So it's both of our faults, really."
He looked at her incredulously. "How so?"
"I should've known, known that you weren't... weren't yourself, when we first slept together - "
"Rose," the Doctor interrupted, his voice husky. "I may not know exactly what happened, but I bonded myself to you, remember? I'm... I'm yours, Rose," he said, holding her gaze with soulful eyes. "To do with as you please."
Rose's hands flew to her mouth, the tears freely falling again. She wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms, but she couldn't touch him - couldn't press her body to his and kiss him until he forgot how to breathe. The universe suddenly seemed a very cruel place. "You said that before, you know," she said, sniffing.
"What's that?" he said, shifting against the longboat.
"You said that you were mine right before we... ah, consummated the bond." She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks and looked away in embarrassment.
"I didn't look through those memories," he said softly. "Thought it might be a bit dangerous. And private."
"You were there, you know," Rose said ruefully. "I wouldn't mind if you looked."
He regarded her for a moment. "Maybe... but it's still your memory, Rose. Not mine. I'd really rather remember some things for myself."
"Do you think you ever will?"
"I don't know." He looked away from her, awkward silence hanging in the room before he spoke again. "Really wish I could, though," he added in a small voice. "I do remember some things, in flashes, but nothing really concrete. Maybe if the conditions were replicated...." He trailed off, shaking his head. "This really isn't a wise train of thought right now."
Rose nodded, willing the erotic images of soft, white sheets, honeyed skin and messy, desperate kisses from her head. "So what are we going to do?"
He sighed. "I don't know, Rose. With the proper equipment, I might be able to dispel a Fendahleen, but not the Fendahl core itself. And you won't be able to travel in the TARDIS... not with the core inside your head."
She moved to sit next to him, her back up against the frozen hull of the longboat, her mind racing through one horrible possibility after another. "Doctor?" she ventured after several moments of awkward silence. "If we can get you free, you should go," she said, her voice tremulous with emotion. "As far away from here as you can."
"That's not an option," the Doctor insisted, turning quickly to face her as best he could with his right arm still tethered. "Like I said before, it has the TARDIS's scent - it'd hunt her down. And even if it were possible...." He yanked on the chain hard, blood dripping anew down his wrist to disappear into the sleeve of his pinstriped suitjacket. "I would never leave you, Rose."
She nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. "So what happens now?"
"There's only one thing I can think of that might delay the inevitable," he mumbled, becoming more subdued.
"The inevitable being...?"
He hung his head. "Your eventual complete consumption and becoming the Fendahl incarnate."
"Well? Don't keep me in suspense, then," Rose said glumly. "What do you want to try?"
He cleared his throat softly. "I could give you barriers... shielding. It's not an ultimate solution, but it might buy us some time."
"But," she sputtered, suddenly angry. "You said you could feel your barriers weakening! You're gonna need them more than I will, since... since you're already pretty sure I'm not... I'm not gonna survive this...." She trailed off, staring into space, afraid to meet his gaze. Afraid of what she might see there.
"I can rebuild my barriers, Rose... given time. And I wouldn't leave myself completely defenseless - I'd just be, well... sharing. Think of it as borrowing. Would that make it seem better?"
She stood up gingerly, favoring her injured ankle, and moved what she thought would be a safe distance from him. "No," she said quietly. "I won't let you."
"Rose, please. Let me try."
Tears again gathered and pricked at the corners of her eyes. "Doctor, it's ok," she lied. "We all have to leave you eventually, right?" She felt sick with the knowledge that she might have to hurt him in order to stop him from doing something potentially foolish. There was a long pause, during which Rose carefully avoided looking at him.
"Do you want me to beg, Rose?" he said quietly. "Because I will, if I have to."
She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, and watched, briefly distracted as it froze in the air before dissipating. "I can't. I can't let you do this."
The Doctor sighed, sounding defeated. The chain rattled again. "Please," he insisted between clenched teeth.
Rose turned to face him, her breath catching in her throat at the look he was giving her. The Doctor said nothing, merely held her gaze with his dark, sad eyes. She could feel her resolve crumbling. "You'll still... you'll still have barriers? They'll be enough to protect you?"
"Come here," he said hoarsely, his untethered hand outstretched. His gaze was hypnotic, and Rose slowly moved to kneel between his legs, her head bowed in defeat.
"Do it," she muttered. "Before I change my mind." She could hear him swallow heavily, could hear the chain jingle as he moved his fingertips to her temples. Cool fingers touched her chilled skin, and warm lips touched to her forehead. She started in surprise....
.... before she again found herself in the white, snow-covered expanse of her meadow. She squinted into stinging sleet, looking for any sign of the creature she had seen before, but all she could make out were glittering, golden walls rising rapidly in the periphery. They certainly seemed solid enough, and Rose allowed herself for a moment to hope that they might somehow drive the creature from her consciousness.
The barriers shimmered and wavered in the distance. Something was wrong. They briefly became transparent before resolidifying. If she listened carefully, she could hear the crashing waves of an unseen ocean.
Something dark was moving in the distance.
Rose opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. She tripped over the hem of her white robe, falling over in the snow in her panic. She had to warn the Doctor, warn him before the creature reached her....
Rose blinked rapidly as the Doctor's fingertips slipped from her temples. He sagged back against the frozen hull of the longboat, his eyes unfocused and exhausted.
"Doctor, something's wrong," she managed to get out before the roar of the ocean completely drowned out the sound of her voice. A cold glow burned behind her eyes, rising in intensity before fading, then glowing brightly again. The Doctor's expression was panicked now, and he was trying to tell her something, but she couldn't hear him above the now continuous discordant din. She slammed her hands to her ears to no avail - the sound couldn't be blocked. White-hot pain blazed between her eyes, her vision tunneled, and she lost consciousness.