my turn [updated]
Ok, seeing as how I have time to burn at work, and clarity in definition resolves rhetorical conflict (say that 3 times fast), I thought I'd come up with my fantasy lover list. I think I've done this before. But hey, taste evolves. So here goes, with no particular rank or priority:
Hoop Earings. Don't know why, but I find hoop earings irresistable. THE BIGGER, THE BETTER. Oh God yes.
Challenge Me. Although I feel pretty balanced intellectually and emotionally, I found the best thing about being with Danila, as an example, was how she expanded me. It's really amorphous to explain. But I gave her a lot of my heart, and early on there was all this torrid emotion, and we stablized, and after 2 years with her, I gained her compassionate perspective. And learned just how stubborn women can be. Of all the tough ass chics I've been involved with, Danila you are still the most stubborn! And I love ya. Anyhow, I don't want to look up to her, and I don't want her to look up to me. I want you to make me look to the side. Understand where I'm going with that orientational metaphor? It's not a north or south thing. It's an east, west, inside-out, upside down thing, next dimension type thing.
Have [female] Friends. I believe relationships are an alliance in many ways. In fact, my favorite part about dating (or rather, trying to date) a girl is becoming tight with her friends. Maybe it's because I'm pretty social. And for some reason, I automatically click with a chic's best friend. Like, always. I love friends.
Tolerate My Wrestling. Don't have to watch, participate, or love it. Just put up with it, at the very least. I sacrifice so much of myself for my company, for the passion and for the people. I don't need shit at home for it.
Kissing Skills. Kissing is hard to teach, or maybe it's just awkward to instruct. If you're even an average kisser, you know it's pretty funny and simultaneously embarassing when you come across someone who just DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE. Ahem. Chad, you and i know a little jew like that. I'm sure this category is in everyone's top requisites. Soooo important.
Let Me Kiss Up to Your Mom & Family. Yeah I said it, big whoop, wanna fight about it? I love bonding with the mom. I think it's cuz I get a certain kind of pride in impressing the parents. Like how in recent times I had visited Danila and we went to her house and afterwards her mom was apparently raving about me. I love that. Man, just wait till I kiss your grandmother on the cheek.
Speak up + Be Yourself = Keep It Real. Meaning, communicate how you feel, ASAP! Especially around my friends. That is, if my friend is telling a story, and you just want to interupt him to tell him he has Marinara Sauce on his shirt, then interupt him and tell him. Don't kiss ass unless you mean what you're saying. If it means being a bitch, well, baby, be a bitch. I kinda like that, actually.
House of Fire. Related to the last thing, I like a girl who can open up like a house of fire. Be real fiesty. I think this is why I've liked certain Portuguese girls before. Maybe I like this because passion with a pinch of rage is just so raw and powerful. Girls who can trash talk rule.
[edit-addendum-continutation-whatever]
Must Love Taco Bell. Come on. I mean... just... Come on.
Talk. A lot. Contrary to every guy in the world, I like how a girl can talk, and talk, and talk, and talk. It gives me something to listen to. And the more I listen, the more you love. It sucks when you have to sit there and search for the right thing to say, because you might be normally inclined to chat about the most mundane detail, but don't want to tell her it for some inhibiting reason or another.
You're Not Fat, So Don't Go There. If I really found you fat and unattractive, I wouldn't want to date you in the first place. A girl needs some flesh. Mad skinny girls are gross. You ain't fat, so don't start in with the self-image stuff.
Smile. It's amazing how cliché this is. But you should "always smile, because you never know who's falling in love with it." Smile when you look at me. Smile when you talk to a friend. Smile Just smile randomly. But only smile if you mean it.
Have a Different Taste in Music Than Me. It's a dirty little secret, but I like to be persuaded into liking an artist that I used to despise, or never heard of, or wasn't that stimulated by before. And it's awkward when you like the same artist as me, because we will most likely rock out different ways. And chances are I will rock out far superior, baby!
Be Obscenely Intimate. When I say I want to know everything about you (which I do), I want to hear every detail. If I'm bored or grossed out, I'll let you know. You can tell me about the corn in your poop. You can tell me exactly what you had to eat today.
Be Playful. In childish way, in a competitive way, in any way. Part of dating is to have fun, straight up.
Drink with Me. I don't ask you drink every weekend. I don't plan on doing that. But when I do drink, I want you to drink with me. I think there would be NOTHING sexier than hanging all over each other, being totally UNABLE to restrain yourself from kissing, and you just can't keep your hands off one another, as though you had magnets in your fingertips... Because that's what alcohol does (I watched in on Discovery Channel): it removes your inhibition. It's uncaged passion, albeit a little tipsy. Which makes it funny. But love-making should be fun, for God sakes.
You Got Your Friends, And I Got Mine. I know that's like a song lyric, but I can't figure out from what. I wanna say some 90's hip-hop. Anyhow, as much of an affinity you have for your significant other, it's critical to have alone time. Even the union of marriage should be the mutual and parallel growth of two individuals. Once individuality is gone, you don't know this new, compromised and broken person and they lose their attraction.
Laugh At My Jokes. I tell them to make you laugh. But if you don't find me funny, that's okay. Danila never found me funny, like ever. Despite my jocularity level being so diverse and consistent. You know, or not.
Have Moderate Ambition. Moderate at the very minimum. Until the day I'm totally rich & loaded, I hope you don't have expectations of career in homemaking. And you are not going to work at McDonalds, either. Even if you don't have a destination, just have a drive.
Help Me Out: Drop Hints. Around birthdays and Christmas, I mean. I'm a guy. You DON'T want to see what I would buy you if I were totally clueless. Throw me a bone, but very subtlely and artfully.
Language Skills. A lot of what I write often relies on subtle nuances, which are often intentional. And I also use a lot of random and a diverse range of references, thousands of inside jokes, American idioms, dry puns, pop culture from the 80s + 90s, changing around clichés, and so on. You gotta be able to keep up, or else you won't get the full effect. No, not President Mike Paiva. <-- see thats an inside joke. I can't help myself. <-- See thats when I start singing that 60's song. I am chock full of subtext.
Foreign Languages a Big Plus. Not required. But I love language. Portuguese is especially sexy. Spanish is so-so. But those totally different branches are something else. Indo-European, Slavic, etc. Grr, baby.
Supreme Loyalty. I have this exgf who was the best. She NEVER would have cheated. Ever. Vehemently opposed to it. I despise cheating. It's filthy. It's pure deception. It's hurtful. It literally makes me want to spit. And that's saying something. Dead serious.
That's all I can think of for today. Maybe an additional edit when I think of stuff?
Hoop Earings. Don't know why, but I find hoop earings irresistable. THE BIGGER, THE BETTER. Oh God yes.
Challenge Me. Although I feel pretty balanced intellectually and emotionally, I found the best thing about being with Danila, as an example, was how she expanded me. It's really amorphous to explain. But I gave her a lot of my heart, and early on there was all this torrid emotion, and we stablized, and after 2 years with her, I gained her compassionate perspective. And learned just how stubborn women can be. Of all the tough ass chics I've been involved with, Danila you are still the most stubborn! And I love ya. Anyhow, I don't want to look up to her, and I don't want her to look up to me. I want you to make me look to the side. Understand where I'm going with that orientational metaphor? It's not a north or south thing. It's an east, west, inside-out, upside down thing, next dimension type thing.
Have [female] Friends. I believe relationships are an alliance in many ways. In fact, my favorite part about dating (or rather, trying to date) a girl is becoming tight with her friends. Maybe it's because I'm pretty social. And for some reason, I automatically click with a chic's best friend. Like, always. I love friends.
Tolerate My Wrestling. Don't have to watch, participate, or love it. Just put up with it, at the very least. I sacrifice so much of myself for my company, for the passion and for the people. I don't need shit at home for it.
Kissing Skills. Kissing is hard to teach, or maybe it's just awkward to instruct. If you're even an average kisser, you know it's pretty funny and simultaneously embarassing when you come across someone who just DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE. Ahem. Chad, you and i know a little jew like that. I'm sure this category is in everyone's top requisites. Soooo important.
Let Me Kiss Up to Your Mom & Family. Yeah I said it, big whoop, wanna fight about it? I love bonding with the mom. I think it's cuz I get a certain kind of pride in impressing the parents. Like how in recent times I had visited Danila and we went to her house and afterwards her mom was apparently raving about me. I love that. Man, just wait till I kiss your grandmother on the cheek.
Speak up + Be Yourself = Keep It Real. Meaning, communicate how you feel, ASAP! Especially around my friends. That is, if my friend is telling a story, and you just want to interupt him to tell him he has Marinara Sauce on his shirt, then interupt him and tell him. Don't kiss ass unless you mean what you're saying. If it means being a bitch, well, baby, be a bitch. I kinda like that, actually.
House of Fire. Related to the last thing, I like a girl who can open up like a house of fire. Be real fiesty. I think this is why I've liked certain Portuguese girls before. Maybe I like this because passion with a pinch of rage is just so raw and powerful. Girls who can trash talk rule.
[edit-addendum-continutation-whatever]
Must Love Taco Bell. Come on. I mean... just... Come on.
Talk. A lot. Contrary to every guy in the world, I like how a girl can talk, and talk, and talk, and talk. It gives me something to listen to. And the more I listen, the more you love. It sucks when you have to sit there and search for the right thing to say, because you might be normally inclined to chat about the most mundane detail, but don't want to tell her it for some inhibiting reason or another.
You're Not Fat, So Don't Go There. If I really found you fat and unattractive, I wouldn't want to date you in the first place. A girl needs some flesh. Mad skinny girls are gross. You ain't fat, so don't start in with the self-image stuff.
Smile. It's amazing how cliché this is. But you should "always smile, because you never know who's falling in love with it." Smile when you look at me. Smile when you talk to a friend. Smile Just smile randomly. But only smile if you mean it.
Have a Different Taste in Music Than Me. It's a dirty little secret, but I like to be persuaded into liking an artist that I used to despise, or never heard of, or wasn't that stimulated by before. And it's awkward when you like the same artist as me, because we will most likely rock out different ways. And chances are I will rock out far superior, baby!
Be Obscenely Intimate. When I say I want to know everything about you (which I do), I want to hear every detail. If I'm bored or grossed out, I'll let you know. You can tell me about the corn in your poop. You can tell me exactly what you had to eat today.
Be Playful. In childish way, in a competitive way, in any way. Part of dating is to have fun, straight up.
Drink with Me. I don't ask you drink every weekend. I don't plan on doing that. But when I do drink, I want you to drink with me. I think there would be NOTHING sexier than hanging all over each other, being totally UNABLE to restrain yourself from kissing, and you just can't keep your hands off one another, as though you had magnets in your fingertips... Because that's what alcohol does (I watched in on Discovery Channel): it removes your inhibition. It's uncaged passion, albeit a little tipsy. Which makes it funny. But love-making should be fun, for God sakes.
You Got Your Friends, And I Got Mine. I know that's like a song lyric, but I can't figure out from what. I wanna say some 90's hip-hop. Anyhow, as much of an affinity you have for your significant other, it's critical to have alone time. Even the union of marriage should be the mutual and parallel growth of two individuals. Once individuality is gone, you don't know this new, compromised and broken person and they lose their attraction.
Laugh At My Jokes. I tell them to make you laugh. But if you don't find me funny, that's okay. Danila never found me funny, like ever. Despite my jocularity level being so diverse and consistent. You know, or not.
Have Moderate Ambition. Moderate at the very minimum. Until the day I'm totally rich & loaded, I hope you don't have expectations of career in homemaking. And you are not going to work at McDonalds, either. Even if you don't have a destination, just have a drive.
Help Me Out: Drop Hints. Around birthdays and Christmas, I mean. I'm a guy. You DON'T want to see what I would buy you if I were totally clueless. Throw me a bone, but very subtlely and artfully.
Language Skills. A lot of what I write often relies on subtle nuances, which are often intentional. And I also use a lot of random and a diverse range of references, thousands of inside jokes, American idioms, dry puns, pop culture from the 80s + 90s, changing around clichés, and so on. You gotta be able to keep up, or else you won't get the full effect. No, not President Mike Paiva. <-- see thats an inside joke. I can't help myself. <-- See thats when I start singing that 60's song. I am chock full of subtext.
Foreign Languages a Big Plus. Not required. But I love language. Portuguese is especially sexy. Spanish is so-so. But those totally different branches are something else. Indo-European, Slavic, etc. Grr, baby.
Supreme Loyalty. I have this exgf who was the best. She NEVER would have cheated. Ever. Vehemently opposed to it. I despise cheating. It's filthy. It's pure deception. It's hurtful. It literally makes me want to spit. And that's saying something. Dead serious.
That's all I can think of for today. Maybe an additional edit when I think of stuff?